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Tag: fee

This meme is not actually sponsored at this time, but I did repeatedly leave messages for Tupperware’s billing department. My fee is reasonable, and my offer will stay fresh in the fridge just like leftover meatloaf.

2020/12/03 jarodkintz1Leave a comment

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I’m now offering financial advice. Will you lose everything you’ve got by listening to me? YES! But you’d lose that anyway with the coming economic collapse, so at least this way I get to make a $19.95 commission fee.

2019/10/242019/10/24 jarodkintz1Leave a comment

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Cheddar plus toast is grilled cheese, and money plus burnt bread is now ON SALE! Also, sometimes I get the words penis and obelisk mixed up.

2019/03/022019/03/02 jarodkintz1Leave a comment

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If you love my service as a Reality Tour Guide, or even if you hate it, would you be kind enough to recommend me to all your friends? Be sure to mention my ever-rising fee, and tell them that’s just one of the many benefits of doing business with me.

2018/11/272018/11/27 jarodkintz1Leave a comment

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Recent Posts

  • Here’s an idea: You blame me and I’ll blame you. Then we can both join Howard Jones in singing, “No one is to blame.”
  • Everyone is getting crazier. And poorer. Which is making everyone even crazier.
  • I once wrote a 100,000-word book. But don’t worry, I managed to edit it down to just over one million words.
  • A hundred dollars used to have value. Now it has grown fat and worthless. Or has it grown so skinny as to be useless?
  • If I were the world’s richest man, I’d present myself as the world’s poorest, because I’d want people to want me for me. In fact, I’m so poor I want to be Guinness verified as The World’s Poorest—and I’m even willing to pay for the title (a bribe).
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