When the music slaps, I dance like Jell-O. But not the green kind. No, I move like the sexy red. If you’ve never been sexually attracted to gelatin, wait until you see me jiggle.

2021/06/082021/06/08 jarodkintz1Leave a comment

Bill Gates is now the largest farmland owner in America. Why? Does the same “man” who wants to kill you also want to sell you healthy food?

2021/01/18 jarodkintz1Leave a comment

During a famine, the farmer is wealthier than the money hoarder. Why? Because you can’t eat gold. Well, not unless you first convert it to Mfzt, monoatomic gold, but then how do you know the white powder you’re eating isn’t cocaine?

2020/12/03 jarodkintz1Leave a comment

Have you ever been in love with someone who just wasn’t there for you? My last girlfriend was invisible and inaudible, and the emotional torment made me feel like Helen Keller. I sell the whole experience, but hurry, parking is limited.

2020/10/30 jarodkintz1Leave a comment

One day soon this new pond will be full of water, have Kelly-green clover growing all around, and have white ducks swimming in it. While you relax and enjoy the scenery, there’s even a special place to hold your beer. It’s called your stomach.

2020/08/012020/08/01 jarodkintz1Leave a comment

giphy-7

Call TODAY to inquire about TOMORROW. The Future is NOW, and it’s ONLY $19.95 per serving!

2020/05/092020/05/09 jarodkintz1Leave a comment

giphy-25

If you are what you eat, then my ducks are The Ozarks. That means my ducks are 100% Pure Romance.

2020/05/012020/05/01 jarodkintz1Leave a comment

giphy

The waves danced across Lake Taneycomo like liquid ballerinas, and they paused their performance to pass me a soggy scroll that had this scrawled, “Tourists will trade their livelihoods to be entertained.” So I turned off the blaring pirouette music and let them rest their feet.

2020/01/202020/01/20 jarodkintz1Leave a comment

giphy-18

People tell me I dance like my legs are on fire, and I let them, because they paid me $19.95 to learn how to rhythmically move like Armageddon. Also, none of the flames were injured in the making of this video.

2019/11/182019/11/18 jarodkintz1Leave a comment

giphy-16

Microwavable Frozen Juice is The Drink of The Future! Trust me, I’ve been there. Either that or my watch is just five minutes fast. Either way, my 32-degree drink is ON SALE for just the next 300 seconds. Get it BEFORE the past catches up to this HOT new beverage!

2019/02/182019/02/18 jarodkintz1Leave a comment

giphy-37

Tag: farm

When the music slaps, I dance like Jell-O. But not the green kind. No, I move like the sexy red. If you’ve never been sexually attracted to gelatin, wait until you see me jiggle.

Like this:

Bill Gates is now the largest farmland owner in America. Why? Does the same “man” who wants to kill you also want to sell you healthy food?

Like this:

During a famine, the farmer is wealthier than the money hoarder. Why? Because you can’t eat gold. Well, not unless you first convert it to Mfzt, monoatomic gold, but then how do you know the white powder you’re eating isn’t cocaine?

Like this:

Have you ever been in love with someone who just wasn’t there for you? My last girlfriend was invisible and inaudible, and the emotional torment made me feel like Helen Keller. I sell the whole experience, but hurry, parking is limited.

Like this:

One day soon this new pond will be full of water, have Kelly-green clover growing all around, and have white ducks swimming in it. While you relax and enjoy the scenery, there’s even a special place to hold your beer. It’s called your stomach.

Like this:

Call TODAY to inquire about TOMORROW. The Future is NOW, and it’s ONLY $19.95 per serving!

Like this:

If you are what you eat, then my ducks are The Ozarks. That means my ducks are 100% Pure Romance.

Like this:

The waves danced across Lake Taneycomo like liquid ballerinas, and they paused their performance to pass me a soggy scroll that had this scrawled, “Tourists will trade their livelihoods to be entertained.” So I turned off the blaring pirouette music and let them rest their feet.

Like this:

People tell me I dance like my legs are on fire, and I let them, because they paid me $19.95 to learn how to rhythmically move like Armageddon. Also, none of the flames were injured in the making of this video.

Like this:

Microwavable Frozen Juice is The Drink of The Future! Trust me, I’ve been there. Either that or my watch is just five minutes fast. Either way, my 32-degree drink is ON SALE for just the next 300 seconds. Get it BEFORE the past catches up to this HOT new beverage!

Like this:

Share this:

Like this:

Share this:

Like this:

Share this:

Like this:

Share this:

Like this:

Share this:

Like this:

Share this:

Like this:

Share this:

Like this:

Share this:

Like this:

Share this:

Like this:

Share this:

Like this:

Share this:

Like this:

Share this:

Like this:

Share this:

Like this:

Share this:

Like this:

Share this:

Like this:

Share this:

Like this:

Share this:

Like this:

Share this:

Like this:

Share this:

Like this:

Share this:

Like this: