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Tag: fake commercial
I don’t know who this woman is, but she deserves a trophy for her ability to show off a trophy. It’s like a win-win, and that’s the kind of thing I’d like to offer FOR SALE for ONLY $19.95.
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No bears were injured in the making of this GIF. Sadly, one little girl did start crying. But she stopped once I gave her a Frozen Duck Soup Popsicle, which is now FOR SALE and available in four fun flavors that all taste the same!
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Taste the interdimensional. Just add water—from the second heaven.
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The only people who’ve ever died laughing are still alive to talk about it. That is, until NOW. I may have inadvertently created a device so funny it’s actually a Weapon of War. It’s so potent that FEMA wants to buy it, so they can re-label the deaths as being caused by Covid-19.
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What does it mean to “shop”? If it’s simply you spending money, then yes, you can shop this deal. If it means you spending money in return for what you expected to buy, then no, this SALE is not for you.
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Have you considered using Leftover Meatloaf as a sponge to scrub your naked body in the shower? It’s all I seem to think about these days.
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Playing around in Adobe Animate, I wanted to make a heart-to-heart symbol that morphed from an actual heart to the heart symbol. I think it turned out lovely.
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I’m now discounting my Jazz Hands Dance Class, because, surprisingly, nobody’s signed up
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If you act now, my Dance Lessons are ON SALE. When you buy them you get FREE refills for life. (There is a slight upcharge for ice.)
In this economic collapse, if there is a job opening, 1,000 people apply to it—and it eventually goes to a robot. A kiosk stole my career.
But is my resentment towards @McDonalds growing? No, because I’m growing out a mullet and making a positive change in my personal image.
Maybe you aren’t as fashionable as me, or don’t want the 24/7 #LustFactor that comes with a mullet. Well, have you considered a #FakeMullet?
Wearing a headband with a fake mullet attached just might be the edge you need to separate yourself form your peers during your next job interview.
And then if you’re ready to bring romance back into your life, you can sign up for my Move To Music Like A Wet Puddle Dance Class.
Oh yes, I dance like a wet puddle, because what other kind of puddles are there? Certainly not a dry one. Duh! Don’t be absurd and sign up today!
But in the meantime, buy this AWESOME #FakeMullet:
Tap here to see this AMAZING #FakeMullet on Amazon.
