At The Branson Craft Mall, the cover band was instrumental in getting me to hum along during dinner. The lead singer reminded me of myself—if I were a woman, attractive, and were actually musical.

2020/08/232020/08/23 jarodkintz1Leave a comment

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At April in The Ozarks, we try to be relatable, like an orphan at a family reunion. You should try the meatloaf. It tastes like 1991.

2020/02/242020/02/24 jarodkintz1Leave a comment

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A shopping cart is like a heart, and mine only appears to be empty, but it is in fact full of love for you. And right now all that love is ON SALE.

2020/02/232020/02/23 jarodkintz1Leave a comment

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I’m learning to play the trumpet one string at a time. I wish this whole experience was microwavable, because it’s frozen and taking forever in the oven.

2020/01/012020/01/01 jarodkintz1Leave a comment

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Come and enjoy Branson’s NEWEST attraction. If you can’t find the ride, and have no idea where to look, congratulations, you have already started The Helen Keller Experience!

2019/08/222019/08/22 jarodkintz1Leave a comment

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You can offer FREE swag, FREE food, and FREE entertainment, but if people have no money, then they’re not going to buy anything from you. And is that the failure of experiential retail—or The Banksters who have debased our currency and impoverished us all?

2019/08/112019/08/11 jarodkintz1Leave a comment

A kiss tastes better on my lips than coffee, and has a way of waking me up on a much deeper level. It’s a life-changing experience, and I’d like to share it with you for ONLY $19.95 per month.

2019/03/222019/03/22 jarodkintz1Leave a comment

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I dance like I play the piano, and by that I mean when you watch my feet move you’d think I have 88 fingers. If you want to be a better lover, there’s a book for that, and I wrote it. You can read it, for ONLY $19.95.

2019/03/182019/03/18 jarodkintz1Leave a comment

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Have you ever drank Liquid Cuddles? If you think it’s absurd, wait until I tell you about the SALE! 49 bottles of Liquid Cuddles for the price of ONE! Yes, that’s 50 bottles for ONLY $19.95!

2019/02/252019/02/25 jarodkintz1Leave a comment

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Liquid xylophone music with a hint of saxophone is too exotic and sexy to taste test right now. I’ll have to wait until the world is ready for that level of experiential retail, but once it goes live, after the samples get canned, I predict a baby boom.

2019/02/132019/02/13 jarodkintz1Leave a comment

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Tag: experiential retail

At The Branson Craft Mall, the cover band was instrumental in getting me to hum along during dinner. The lead singer reminded me of myself—if I were a woman, attractive, and were actually musical.

Like this:

At April in The Ozarks, we try to be relatable, like an orphan at a family reunion. You should try the meatloaf. It tastes like 1991.

Like this:

A shopping cart is like a heart, and mine only appears to be empty, but it is in fact full of love for you. And right now all that love is ON SALE.

Like this:

I’m learning to play the trumpet one string at a time. I wish this whole experience was microwavable, because it’s frozen and taking forever in the oven.

Like this:

Come and enjoy Branson’s NEWEST attraction. If you can’t find the ride, and have no idea where to look, congratulations, you have already started The Helen Keller Experience!

Like this:

You can offer FREE swag, FREE food, and FREE entertainment, but if people have no money, then they’re not going to buy anything from you. And is that the failure of experiential retail—or The Banksters who have debased our currency and impoverished us all?

Like this:

A kiss tastes better on my lips than coffee, and has a way of waking me up on a much deeper level. It’s a life-changing experience, and I’d like to share it with you for ONLY $19.95 per month.

Like this:

I dance like I play the piano, and by that I mean when you watch my feet move you’d think I have 88 fingers. If you want to be a better lover, there’s a book for that, and I wrote it. You can read it, for ONLY $19.95.

Like this:

Have you ever drank Liquid Cuddles? If you think it’s absurd, wait until I tell you about the SALE! 49 bottles of Liquid Cuddles for the price of ONE! Yes, that’s 50 bottles for ONLY $19.95!

Like this:

Liquid xylophone music with a hint of saxophone is too exotic and sexy to taste test right now. I’ll have to wait until the world is ready for that level of experiential retail, but once it goes live, after the samples get canned, I predict a baby boom.

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