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Love now, not later. Also, love later.

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Tag: experiential marketing

I admire your dancing moves, and I’d love to bottle them up and sell them as windshield wiper fluid. I only wish they came in Rain Water Flavor.

2020/03/032020/03/03 jarodkintz1Leave a comment

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What does it mean to “shop”? If it’s simply you spending money, then yes, you can shop this deal. If it means you spending money in return for what you expected to buy, then no, this SALE is not for you.

2020/03/032020/03/03 jarodkintz1Leave a comment

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I should combine a car bumper with a belt, for a fashion accessory that’s safe for office romances. (Powdered love poetry and water sold separately.)

2020/02/282020/02/28 jarodkintz1Leave a comment

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God gave man feet for which to walk. And crush grapes. Can I get you a glass of wine? It’s homemade, though it kind of smells funky and fungal. But hey, a fun gal made it.

2020/02/282020/02/28 jarodkintz1Leave a comment

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If April in The Ozarks smells like 100% Pure Romance, it’s because we use the freshest organic love poetry. The earnest words of yearning are all locally grown right here in my heart.

2020/02/282020/02/28 jarodkintz1Leave a comment

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If Uncle Sam didn’t exist, I wouldn’t even have one friend. Of course, I pay Uncle Sam out of my paycheck, so it kind of feels like I’m buying his love.

2020/02/282020/02/28 jarodkintz1Leave a comment

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Branson’s got more waterfalls per square mile than any other shape of measuring landmass. Next time, try circles! (Waterproof sticks sold separately.)

2020/02/272020/02/27 jarodkintz1Leave a comment

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After trying out hours and hours of original material, I can assure you that cats hate knock-knock jokes. To them, knocking is no joke, because if you’ve got knickknacks on a shelf, they’ll seriously knock them all off.

2020/02/272020/02/27 jarodkintz1Leave a comment

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At April in The Ozarks, we try to be relatable, like an orphan at a family reunion. You should try the meatloaf. It tastes like 1991.

2020/02/242020/02/24 jarodkintz1Leave a comment

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A shopping cart is like a heart, and mine only appears to be empty, but it is in fact full of love for you. And right now all that love is ON SALE.

2020/02/232020/02/23 jarodkintz1Leave a comment

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