The waves danced across Lake Taneycomo like liquid ballerinas, and they paused their performance to pass me a soggy scroll that had this scrawled, “Tourists will trade their livelihoods to be entertained.” So I turned off the blaring pirouette music and let them rest their feet.

2020/01/202020/01/20 jarodkintz1Leave a comment

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My favorite bird is Thanksgiving, and I eat it once a year twice, to celebrate being able to celebrate. I take absurdity very seriously, and I suggest you $19.95 while you can still afford it or before it melts into Leftover Meatloaf.

2019/10/162019/10/16 jarodkintz1Leave a comment

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Neiman Marcus will be out of business by next year, unlike me, who was never IN business to begin with, so I can make entrepreneurial missteps and then repackage them as Dancing Lessons.

2019/09/14 jarodkintz1Leave a comment

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My soup is 100% Ranch FREE, which is why when you buy it I include FREE Ranch. (Ranch sold separately.)

2019/08/282019/08/28 jarodkintz1Leave a comment

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Yesterday, today, and tomorrow are so fluid that I’m now selling them in one Extra Large cup, and if you buy within the next 24 hours I’ll even include FREE Leftover Meatloaf.

2019/08/272019/08/27 jarodkintz1Leave a comment

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Come and enjoy Branson’s NEWEST attraction. If you can’t find the ride, and have no idea where to look, congratulations, you have already started The Helen Keller Experience!

2019/08/222019/08/22 jarodkintz1Leave a comment

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We’re all trying to save something. You’re trying to save Mother Earth from certain death, and I’m trying to save money. Your BOLD action can solve both goals. It’s never been more affordable to be a hero.

2019/08/132019/08/13 jarodkintz1Leave a comment

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I was once walking in a field of sunflowers in Kansas, when suddenly one of them roared at me like a lion, and it wasn’t until the next moment that I realized that I run like an antelope when I’m feeling particularly brave.

2019/06/022019/06/02 jarodkintz1Leave a comment

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Waterfall escalators are now ON SALE. Treat your Splashing Snuggle Factory to the finest mobility equipment, and let it enjoy its old age with dignity.

2019/04/082019/04/08 jarodkintz1Leave a comment

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A broken clock is right twice a day—and that makes NOW the perfect time to buy one, because now when you Buy One Broken Clock, You Get FREE Fake Space! I buy Factory Direct from NASA, so you know my inventory is FRESH.

2019/03/072019/03/07 jarodkintz1Leave a comment

Tag: entrepreneurship

The waves danced across Lake Taneycomo like liquid ballerinas, and they paused their performance to pass me a soggy scroll that had this scrawled, “Tourists will trade their livelihoods to be entertained.” So I turned off the blaring pirouette music and let them rest their feet.

Like this:

My favorite bird is Thanksgiving, and I eat it once a year twice, to celebrate being able to celebrate. I take absurdity very seriously, and I suggest you $19.95 while you can still afford it or before it melts into Leftover Meatloaf.

Like this:

Neiman Marcus will be out of business by next year, unlike me, who was never IN business to begin with, so I can make entrepreneurial missteps and then repackage them as Dancing Lessons.

Like this:

My soup is 100% Ranch FREE, which is why when you buy it I include FREE Ranch. (Ranch sold separately.)

Like this:

Yesterday, today, and tomorrow are so fluid that I’m now selling them in one Extra Large cup, and if you buy within the next 24 hours I’ll even include FREE Leftover Meatloaf.

Like this:

Come and enjoy Branson’s NEWEST attraction. If you can’t find the ride, and have no idea where to look, congratulations, you have already started The Helen Keller Experience!

Like this:

We’re all trying to save something. You’re trying to save Mother Earth from certain death, and I’m trying to save money. Your BOLD action can solve both goals. It’s never been more affordable to be a hero.

Like this:

I was once walking in a field of sunflowers in Kansas, when suddenly one of them roared at me like a lion, and it wasn’t until the next moment that I realized that I run like an antelope when I’m feeling particularly brave.

Like this:

Waterfall escalators are now ON SALE. Treat your Splashing Snuggle Factory to the finest mobility equipment, and let it enjoy its old age with dignity.

Like this:

A broken clock is right twice a day—and that makes NOW the perfect time to buy one, because now when you Buy One Broken Clock, You Get FREE Fake Space! I buy Factory Direct from NASA, so you know my inventory is FRESH.

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