I was once walking in a field of sunflowers in Kansas, when suddenly one of them roared at me like a lion, and it wasn’t until the next moment that I realized that I run like an antelope when I’m feeling particularly brave.

2019/06/022019/06/02 jarodkintz1Leave a comment

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Waterfall escalators are now ON SALE. Treat your Splashing Snuggle Factory to the finest mobility equipment, and let it enjoy its old age with dignity.

2019/04/082019/04/08 jarodkintz1Leave a comment

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A broken clock is right twice a day—and that makes NOW the perfect time to buy one, because now when you Buy One Broken Clock, You Get FREE Fake Space! I buy Factory Direct from NASA, so you know my inventory is FRESH.

2019/03/072019/03/07 jarodkintz1Leave a comment

Art as a service is great until you’re forced into the dilemma of: Do you keep The Masterpiece that I sculpted out of wrapping paper, or do you destroy The Masterpiece to discover the original gift inside? Masterpiece versus Mystery. Who will win?

2019/03/052019/03/05 jarodkintz1Leave a comment

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Shopping for shopping carts has been my addiction ever since I discovered that Aldi’s was selling them for a quarter each. Now I resell them at 3 for 99 cents, or 95 for ONLY $19.95!

2019/03/012019/03/01 jarodkintz1Leave a comment

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Steaks are NOW 19 for $19.95. Wow, that’s practically a steal! Actually, it truly is a steal. That’s what makes the food taste so great!

2019/02/272019/02/27 jarodkintz1Leave a comment

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What reason could you possibly have for not buying this GIF? You might say, “Because it’s worthless.” And to that I’d reply, “So are fiat currencies, including The Dollar.” Sounds like an even trade to me.

2019/02/202019/02/20 jarodkintz1Leave a comment

I’m now selling Modern Dance Moves in four sizes: Small, Medium, Large, and I’ve Gotta Pee. The latter also describes the exotic motion.

2019/02/202019/02/20 jarodkintz1Leave a comment

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After Wendell’s daring performance, if he should somehow survive, and that is a big IF for such a reasonable ticket price, join us as Wendell leads us in The Search for The Lost Treasure of Jesse James. Metal detector rentals ONLY $19.95.

2019/01/312019/01/31 jarodkintz1Leave a comment

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I regret to inform you that I have just SOLD OUT of grandmothers, but in stock I do have Talking Raisins In A Box. They’re not quite as grumpy, but they are just as wrinkly.

2019/01/282019/01/28 jarodkintz1Leave a comment

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Tag: entrepreneurship

I was once walking in a field of sunflowers in Kansas, when suddenly one of them roared at me like a lion, and it wasn’t until the next moment that I realized that I run like an antelope when I’m feeling particularly brave.

Like this:

Waterfall escalators are now ON SALE. Treat your Splashing Snuggle Factory to the finest mobility equipment, and let it enjoy its old age with dignity.

Like this:

A broken clock is right twice a day—and that makes NOW the perfect time to buy one, because now when you Buy One Broken Clock, You Get FREE Fake Space! I buy Factory Direct from NASA, so you know my inventory is FRESH.

Like this:

Art as a service is great until you’re forced into the dilemma of: Do you keep The Masterpiece that I sculpted out of wrapping paper, or do you destroy The Masterpiece to discover the original gift inside? Masterpiece versus Mystery. Who will win?

Like this:

Shopping for shopping carts has been my addiction ever since I discovered that Aldi’s was selling them for a quarter each. Now I resell them at 3 for 99 cents, or 95 for ONLY $19.95!

Like this:

Steaks are NOW 19 for $19.95. Wow, that’s practically a steal! Actually, it truly is a steal. That’s what makes the food taste so great!

Like this:

What reason could you possibly have for not buying this GIF? You might say, “Because it’s worthless.” And to that I’d reply, “So are fiat currencies, including The Dollar.” Sounds like an even trade to me.

Like this:

I’m now selling Modern Dance Moves in four sizes: Small, Medium, Large, and I’ve Gotta Pee. The latter also describes the exotic motion.

Like this:

After Wendell’s daring performance, if he should somehow survive, and that is a big IF for such a reasonable ticket price, join us as Wendell leads us in The Search for The Lost Treasure of Jesse James. Metal detector rentals ONLY $19.95.

Like this:

I regret to inform you that I have just SOLD OUT of grandmothers, but in stock I do have Talking Raisins In A Box. They’re not quite as grumpy, but they are just as wrinkly.

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