My favorite bird is Thanksgiving, and I eat it once a year twice, to celebrate being able to celebrate. I take absurdity very seriously, and I suggest you $19.95 while you can still afford it or before it melts into Leftover Meatloaf.

2019/10/162019/10/16 jarodkintz1Leave a comment

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A pulled tooth is heart-shaped, if yanked with love. That’s what I do—for ONLY $19.95!

2019/10/112019/10/11 jarodkintz1Leave a comment

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Neiman Marcus will be out of business by next year, unlike me, who was never IN business to begin with, so I can make entrepreneurial missteps and then repackage them as Dancing Lessons.

2019/09/14 jarodkintz1Leave a comment

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My soup is 100% Ranch FREE, which is why when you buy it I include FREE Ranch. (Ranch sold separately.)

2019/08/282019/08/28 jarodkintz1Leave a comment

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Yesterday, today, and tomorrow are so fluid that I’m now selling them in one Extra Large cup, and if you buy within the next 24 hours I’ll even include FREE Leftover Meatloaf.

2019/08/272019/08/27 jarodkintz1Leave a comment

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Come and enjoy Branson’s NEWEST attraction. If you can’t find the ride, and have no idea where to look, congratulations, you have already started The Helen Keller Experience!

2019/08/222019/08/22 jarodkintz1Leave a comment

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We’re all trying to save something. You’re trying to save Mother Earth from certain death, and I’m trying to save money. Your BOLD action can solve both goals. It’s never been more affordable to be a hero.

2019/08/132019/08/13 jarodkintz1Leave a comment

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Waterfall escalators are now ON SALE. Treat your Splashing Snuggle Factory to the finest mobility equipment, and let it enjoy its old age with dignity.

2019/04/082019/04/08 jarodkintz1Leave a comment

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Many elderly waterfalls move to Branson to retire, and if you decide to adopt a Snuggly Splash Factory, you need to buy adequate aqua equipment to properly care for these gurgling geriatrics.

2019/03/272019/03/27 jarodkintz1Leave a comment

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I dance like I play the piano, and by that I mean when you watch my feet move you’d think I have 88 fingers. If you want to be a better lover, there’s a book for that, and I wrote it. You can read it, for ONLY $19.95.

2019/03/182019/03/18 jarodkintz1Leave a comment

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Tag: entrepreneur

My favorite bird is Thanksgiving, and I eat it once a year twice, to celebrate being able to celebrate. I take absurdity very seriously, and I suggest you $19.95 while you can still afford it or before it melts into Leftover Meatloaf.

Like this:

A pulled tooth is heart-shaped, if yanked with love. That’s what I do—for ONLY $19.95!

Like this:

Neiman Marcus will be out of business by next year, unlike me, who was never IN business to begin with, so I can make entrepreneurial missteps and then repackage them as Dancing Lessons.

Like this:

My soup is 100% Ranch FREE, which is why when you buy it I include FREE Ranch. (Ranch sold separately.)

Like this:

Yesterday, today, and tomorrow are so fluid that I’m now selling them in one Extra Large cup, and if you buy within the next 24 hours I’ll even include FREE Leftover Meatloaf.

Like this:

Come and enjoy Branson’s NEWEST attraction. If you can’t find the ride, and have no idea where to look, congratulations, you have already started The Helen Keller Experience!

Like this:

We’re all trying to save something. You’re trying to save Mother Earth from certain death, and I’m trying to save money. Your BOLD action can solve both goals. It’s never been more affordable to be a hero.

Like this:

Waterfall escalators are now ON SALE. Treat your Splashing Snuggle Factory to the finest mobility equipment, and let it enjoy its old age with dignity.

Like this:

Many elderly waterfalls move to Branson to retire, and if you decide to adopt a Snuggly Splash Factory, you need to buy adequate aqua equipment to properly care for these gurgling geriatrics.

Like this:

I dance like I play the piano, and by that I mean when you watch my feet move you’d think I have 88 fingers. If you want to be a better lover, there’s a book for that, and I wrote it. You can read it, for ONLY $19.95.

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