Tag: edgy memes
Don’t worry about this vaccine. You won’t be held down by soldiers and forcefully injected. We have a merciful government, and if you don’t take it you’ll simply be fired from your job, not be allowed to be hired elsewhere, denied unemployment, and barred from grocery stores.
Hey, put away your gun. Don’t shoot me. I’m just the messenger. I’m like your friendly neighborhood Post Office Driver, except instead of delivering junk mail, I deal in dank memes.
Clowns are to be taken more seriously than mainstream news. But clowns are not to be taken. Put them back or pay for them—or ask the person you took them from to pay for them in a large quantity of small, unmarked bills stacked in a briefcase and left in a prearranged location.
Even if you had acne scar pits like the lunar surface, NASA couldn’t land on your face. But I’d still like to see Ryan Gosling try, so you should probably buy my movie ticket or else I’m just gonna sneak in the theater after you pay.
You can afford to sell at 50% off when you have a whole warehouse full of the stuff, like I do.
I’m no Nostradamus, but my prediction for the year 2019 is that it will have 365 days in it. Hopefully every one of them will be a blessing for you, except that cursed Day Number 333.
There are 88 keys on a piano, but none will unlock my heart. Only you have that power. You are The Janitor of Desire. The pay is terrible, but that’s balanced out by the long hours.
When McDonald’s brags about serving billions and billions of people, I get disgusted, because that kind of cannibalism shouldn’t be a selling point for customers to continue paying for the opportunity to eat people.
I sell Blindfolds, and I sell Dancing Lessons, and you’ll need both if you want to be my student. I hope you do want to be my student, because I’d really like to unload my inventory of Dancing Lessons. They are just sitting in boxes, taking up space in my warehouse.