It’s too bad GIFs are silent, because I recorded some original saxophone music to accompany this masterpiece. It sounds like ducks quacking on the moon, and if you’ve got an empty elevator that needs space to be filled, it’s now FOR SALE.

2021/09/17 jarodkintz1Leave a comment

Don’t worry about this vaccine. You won’t be held down by soldiers and forcefully injected. We have a merciful government, and if you don’t take it you’ll simply be fired from your job, not be allowed to be hired elsewhere, denied unemployment, and barred from grocery stores.

2020/12/28 jarodkintz1Leave a comment

Hey, put away your gun. Don’t shoot me. I’m just the messenger. I’m like your friendly neighborhood Post Office Driver, except instead of delivering junk mail, I deal in dank memes.

2020/09/25 jarodkintz1Leave a comment

I drink every ounce of beer like it’s a liquid gold coin. Craig at Cheeky Monkey made me feel like a Swiss vault—and at piggybank prices.

2020/09/06 jarodkintz1Leave a comment

Clowns are to be taken more seriously than mainstream news. But clowns are not to be taken. Put them back or pay for them—or ask the person you took them from to pay for them in a large quantity of small, unmarked bills stacked in a briefcase and left in a prearranged location.

2020/05/192020/05/19 jarodkintz1Leave a comment

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I had a dream about you last night. What did you mean when you said, “Can I borrow your Tomato Machine? I left my seven in my head.” I thought you left eight! Now my calculations are WAY off!

2020/04/012020/04/01 jarodkintz1Leave a comment

giphy-1

Even if you had acne scar pits like the lunar surface, NASA couldn’t land on your face. But I’d still like to see Ryan Gosling try, so you should probably buy my movie ticket or else I’m just gonna sneak in the theater after you pay.

2019/07/262019/07/26 jarodkintz1Leave a comment

giphy-16

You can afford to sell at 50% off when you have a whole warehouse full of the stuff, like I do.

2019/02/192019/02/19 jarodkintz1Leave a comment

giphy-39

I’m no Nostradamus, but my prediction for the year 2019 is that it will have 365 days in it. Hopefully every one of them will be a blessing for you, except that cursed Day Number 333.

2019/01/012019/01/01 jarodkintz1Leave a comment

giphy

There are 88 keys on a piano, but none will unlock my heart. Only you have that power. You are The Janitor of Desire. The pay is terrible, but that’s balanced out by the long hours.

2018/12/302018/12/30 jarodkintz1Leave a comment

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Tag: edgy meme

It’s too bad GIFs are silent, because I recorded some original saxophone music to accompany this masterpiece. It sounds like ducks quacking on the moon, and if you’ve got an empty elevator that needs space to be filled, it’s now FOR SALE.

Like this:

Don’t worry about this vaccine. You won’t be held down by soldiers and forcefully injected. We have a merciful government, and if you don’t take it you’ll simply be fired from your job, not be allowed to be hired elsewhere, denied unemployment, and barred from grocery stores.

Like this:

Hey, put away your gun. Don’t shoot me. I’m just the messenger. I’m like your friendly neighborhood Post Office Driver, except instead of delivering junk mail, I deal in dank memes.

Like this:

I drink every ounce of beer like it’s a liquid gold coin. Craig at Cheeky Monkey made me feel like a Swiss vault—and at piggybank prices.

Like this:

Clowns are to be taken more seriously than mainstream news. But clowns are not to be taken. Put them back or pay for them—or ask the person you took them from to pay for them in a large quantity of small, unmarked bills stacked in a briefcase and left in a prearranged location.

Like this:

I had a dream about you last night. What did you mean when you said, “Can I borrow your Tomato Machine? I left my seven in my head.” I thought you left eight! Now my calculations are WAY off!

Like this:

Even if you had acne scar pits like the lunar surface, NASA couldn’t land on your face. But I’d still like to see Ryan Gosling try, so you should probably buy my movie ticket or else I’m just gonna sneak in the theater after you pay.

Like this:

You can afford to sell at 50% off when you have a whole warehouse full of the stuff, like I do.

Like this:

I’m no Nostradamus, but my prediction for the year 2019 is that it will have 365 days in it. Hopefully every one of them will be a blessing for you, except that cursed Day Number 333.

Like this:

There are 88 keys on a piano, but none will unlock my heart. Only you have that power. You are The Janitor of Desire. The pay is terrible, but that’s balanced out by the long hours.

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