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Tag: duck

I may not be a finger linguist, but it doesn’t take a sign language interpreter to figure out what she said. I just want to know one thing: Are you gonna let her talk about you like that?

2021/10/05 jarodkintz1Leave a comment

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When you buy one of my T-shirts, you get a FREE spot of tea. I tried to wash it out, but the spot is now a stain, so if you are thirsty for deals then this is for you.

2021/08/30 jarodkintz1Leave a comment

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At BearPaw Duck and Meme Farm, we value self-expression—even if that extends to gender. That’s why we sell T-shirts in Men’s, Women’s, and More Expensive. There may be 333 different genders, but we’ll only charge you more money for 331 of them.

2021/07/12 jarodkintz1Leave a comment

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I have a pet bicycle, and when I take it for a walk people look at me like I’m crazy. What, have you never seen an “I Voted!” T-shirt before?

2021/07/08 jarodkintz1Leave a comment

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At BearPaw Duck and Meme Farm, we recognize that low prices shit on quality. I’m talking about a nasty dump in a mop bucket kind of way, which is why we stay clean of gimmicky deals.

2021/07/05 jarodkintz1Leave a comment

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Do you often feel lethargic, like you have no energy? Next time, try charging your body through electrocution via lightning bolt. I now make and sell pointy metal hats that are designed to be worn in thunderstorms.

2021/06/28 jarodkintz1Leave a comment

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A Pekin duckling has fur like rays of sunlight. It’s a yellow orb of a bird that’s bursting with warmth, and it transforms your fluttering heart into a butterfly.

2021/06/23 jarodkintz1Leave a comment

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Did you even know the saxophone could make farm noises? You know I’m a genius jazz performer because it sounds like I haven’t played an instrument ever before.

2021/06/09 jarodkintz1Leave a comment

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At BearPaw Duck and Meme Farm, we don’t tell you what to do with your money. Except, of course, spend it all on us. If shopping is your hobby, we have what you want, because we sell the experience of frivolity.

2021/06/08 jarodkintz1Leave a comment

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When the music slaps, I dance like Jell-O. But not the green kind. No, I move like the sexy red. If you’ve never been sexually attracted to gelatin, wait until you see me jiggle.

2021/06/082021/06/08 jarodkintz1Leave a comment

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