At BearPaw Duck Farm, our customer service representatives work 24/7 to make sure you are satisfied. If nobody answers your call within five rings, like The Olympics logo, call back in four years.
Tag: duck
This GIF doubles as an air freshener. It smells like watery duck poop.
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TODAY is the last day to take a tour of BearPaw Duck Farm—until TOMORROW. The ticket price today is $19.95, but with the way The Federal Reserve is printing fake money, tomorrow it may cost you ONE TRILLION DOLLARS. Just ask 2005 Zimbabwe.
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I’m now offering FREE refills on Duck Soup. Must be 21 years or older to drink. Julia Roberts LOVES it, and she said it reminds her of the horse piss she used to drink as a young man.
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Tonight’s meme is inspired by the letter in-between the 16th and the 18th letters. That single letter is going to save America from America. It’s the first letter in Question, which is something you shouldn’t do to The Plan. Just trust it, man.
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I have a doppelgänger who fought in The American Civil War in the 1860s, so people always assume I’m 200 years old. They ask me, “What’s the secret to long life?” Simple: Accept FREE food, but try not to get turned into Duck Soup once you’ve been fattened up.
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This deal has a natural time decay, so you must BUY NOW. Operators are standing by to take your call—and exactly one of them is for this specific SALE. But hurry, because I may have to use my phone, so act while the line is OPEN.
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Some cinematic epics are immortalized in memory, and this GIF meme is one such masterpiece. I hope this theatrical release is well-received by both film critics and duck buyers.
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Nine out of ten dentists recommend this deal. The tenth dentist is now toothless, and my knuckles are still raw and bruised.
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What better time to succeed than when you are failing and your life depends on you accomplishing your goal? That’s why the best time to call me for swimming lessons is when you are drowning, but don’t expect to make The Olympics or not die your first coaching session. No refunds.
