Did you even know the saxophone could make farm noises? You know I’m a genius jazz performer because it sounds like I haven’t played an instrument ever before.
Tag: duck
At BearPaw Duck and Meme Farm, we don’t tell you what to do with your money. Except, of course, spend it all on us. If shopping is your hobby, we have what you want, because we sell the experience of frivolity.
Share this:
Share this:
When the music slaps, I dance like Jell-O. But not the green kind. No, I move like the sexy red. If you’ve never been sexually attracted to gelatin, wait until you see me jiggle.
Share this:
Share this:
My pool may be empty, but I’m not going to cry about it, unless I use my tears to fill it up. If you’re not too busy, maybe you could help me. If you just think about all your failures, this thing should be overflowing in no time.
Share this:
Share this:
Pele popularized the bicycle kick, but I created the unicycle kick. It’s like the bicycle kick, only it requires more balance and one less wheel. It’s best viewed when the scent of freshly cut grass is on the breeze, and soft jazz saxophone is playing in the background.
Share this:
Share this:
I’m a Starbucks coffee connoisseur. You know I’m an expert, because I can’t distinguish between their java and muddy duck water.
Share this:
Share this:
To help my ducks improve their swimming ability, I remixed Mozart with whale sounds, and I pulse the music through their SplashTub. If you’d like to see and hear the performance, tickets are ten bucks a person, or five bucks per half-person.
Share this:
Share this:
The key to dancing is to do it without music. Whoever first paired dancing and music together was an absolute lunatic, and would have been more useful to society if squeezed out of a tube of toothpaste. Nine out of ten dentists agree with me.
Share this:
Share this:
BearPaw Duck & Meme Farm now offers FREE refills on T-shirts. Buy one shirt, and fill it as many times as you’d like.
Share this:
Share this:
Look up BearPaw Duck & Meme Farm. We’re in The Phone Book. I know, because I actually found a copy and scribbled our contact information inside. Business is about to go the way of NASA’s 1986 Challenger rocket.
