While nine out of ten dentists, or 99.9%, recommend my duck-soup-flavored toothpaste, exactly ZERO decided to buy my new math class, “Understanding How Fractions Work—And Can Work To Make You Rich.” The book is ONLY $19.95, and it comes with FREE refills.

2020/05/232020/05/23 jarodkintz1Leave a comment

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FREE networking tip #13: Instead of offering your hand when meeting someone, extend a rubber duck that squeaks. It’s just a small gesture that says, “I’m here, you’re here, and I really care.”

2020/05/232020/05/23 jarodkintz1Leave a comment

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I know Romance is dying, and I feel bad that I won’t be able to bring it any homemade Duck Noodle Soup, but at the same time I am happy to be SOLD OUT. Julia Roberts galloped past BearPaw Duck Farm and drank up my entire stash, which was FULL and stored in Branson’s water tower.

2020/05/232020/05/23 jarodkintz1Leave a comment

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In honor of Tom Cruise and the clone of Tom Cruise, Dancing Lessons are NOW Two For One. My prices are so LOW you just might feel obligated to buy some Duck Soup, which comes with FREE refills.

2020/05/232020/05/23 jarodkintz1Leave a comment

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I’m now offering FREE refills on Duck Soup. Must be 21 years or older to drink. Julia Roberts LOVES it, and she said it reminds her of the horse piss she used to drink as a young man.

2020/05/192020/05/19 jarodkintz1Leave a comment

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Tonight’s meme is inspired by the letter in-between the 16th and the 18th letters. That single letter is going to save America from America. It’s the first letter in Question, which is something you shouldn’t do to The Plan. Just trust it, man.

2020/05/192020/05/19 jarodkintz1Leave a comment

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I have a doppelgänger who fought in The American Civil War in the 1860s, so people always assume I’m 200 years old. They ask me, “What’s the secret to long life?” Simple: Accept FREE food, but try not to get turned into Duck Soup once you’ve been fattened up.

2020/05/192020/05/19 jarodkintz1Leave a comment

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Your dance moves should be fluid, like Duck Soup. Right now when you buy my Romance In Motion lessons, you get FREE refills.

2020/05/032020/05/03 jarodkintz1Leave a comment

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I’m now selling Duck-Soup Popsicles in vintage meatloaf colors. The flavor of 1991 has never looked so good while camping. Just ask Bigfoot.

2020/05/012020/05/01 jarodkintz1Leave a comment

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Of course, I’m open to seasoning my Duck Soup with other sounds, like Track # 3 from U2’s classic 1987 hit album “The Joshua Tree.” Though I might have to charge an additional $19.95 for such an exotic flavor.

2020/05/012020/05/01 jarodkintz1Leave a comment

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Tag: duck soup

While nine out of ten dentists, or 99.9%, recommend my duck-soup-flavored toothpaste, exactly ZERO decided to buy my new math class, “Understanding How Fractions Work—And Can Work To Make You Rich.” The book is ONLY $19.95, and it comes with FREE refills.

Like this:

FREE networking tip #13: Instead of offering your hand when meeting someone, extend a rubber duck that squeaks. It’s just a small gesture that says, “I’m here, you’re here, and I really care.”

Like this:

I know Romance is dying, and I feel bad that I won’t be able to bring it any homemade Duck Noodle Soup, but at the same time I am happy to be SOLD OUT. Julia Roberts galloped past BearPaw Duck Farm and drank up my entire stash, which was FULL and stored in Branson’s water tower.

Like this:

In honor of Tom Cruise and the clone of Tom Cruise, Dancing Lessons are NOW Two For One. My prices are so LOW you just might feel obligated to buy some Duck Soup, which comes with FREE refills.

Like this:

I’m now offering FREE refills on Duck Soup. Must be 21 years or older to drink. Julia Roberts LOVES it, and she said it reminds her of the horse piss she used to drink as a young man.

Like this:

Tonight’s meme is inspired by the letter in-between the 16th and the 18th letters. That single letter is going to save America from America. It’s the first letter in Question, which is something you shouldn’t do to The Plan. Just trust it, man.

Like this:

I have a doppelgänger who fought in The American Civil War in the 1860s, so people always assume I’m 200 years old. They ask me, “What’s the secret to long life?” Simple: Accept FREE food, but try not to get turned into Duck Soup once you’ve been fattened up.

Like this:

Your dance moves should be fluid, like Duck Soup. Right now when you buy my Romance In Motion lessons, you get FREE refills.

Like this:

I’m now selling Duck-Soup Popsicles in vintage meatloaf colors. The flavor of 1991 has never looked so good while camping. Just ask Bigfoot.

Like this:

Of course, I’m open to seasoning my Duck Soup with other sounds, like Track # 3 from U2’s classic 1987 hit album “The Joshua Tree.” Though I might have to charge an additional $19.95 for such an exotic flavor.

Like this:

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