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Tag: duck soup

There are only two things in this world that make me cry: The heroism displayed by Congress on January 6th, 2021—and chopping up onions. It just so happens that BOTH are used in BearPaw Duck Farm’s NEW SwimmingBird Soup recipe.

2021/01/082021/01/14 jarodkintz1Leave a comment

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You’ll taste the pow of black powder like a gunshot in your mouth. That’s the kind of explosive flavor provided by my powerful Duck Soup.

2021/01/072021/01/14 jarodkintz1Leave a comment

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I also sell REAL donut holes. Unlike those fake donut holes, that are composed entirely of donut, my donut holes are made of 100% pure emptiness. There’s nothing there, and THAT is how you know you’ve bought an authentic donut hole.

2020/12/26 jarodkintz1Leave a comment

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Like a kangaroo chase in flavor format, monoatomic gold is also a white powder. I try to not mix up the two and mix in the pure white powder gold, because to any politician, that’s snortable money.

2020/12/22 jarodkintz1Leave a comment

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Swimming lessons now available at 2020 Olympics ticket prices. Each practice is flavored like a kangaroo chase, and you get FREE refills.

2020/12/22 jarodkintz1Leave a comment

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If you’ve ever had my World Famous SwimmingBird Soup, you probably think it tastes like a kangaroo chase. You may wonder, “Is it organic?” The answer is YES! I use 100% REAL powdered kangaroo chase to flavor my soup.

2020/12/21 jarodkintz1Leave a comment

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If you don’t understand what I mean, it’s because I make Memes of The Future. Try reading it again in ten minutes and see if time has caught up yet.

2020/12/12 jarodkintz1Leave a comment

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Who would you rather buy your Duck Soup from, me or some other guy? OK fine, but what if that other guy is SOLD OUT? Then what? What do you mean you’ll just go to Popeyes for a Spicy Chicken Sandwich?!

2020/08/012020/08/01 jarodkintz1Leave a comment

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Everything is better when flavored with Love. That’s why my prices are so high!

2020/08/01 jarodkintz1Leave a comment

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Rocky 4 is #1, and while Rocky is Rocky 1, it’s still #2. Rocky 2 is somewhere in the middle, like the year 1212. It’s time to take that time out of the freezer and reheat it in a volcano, like you’d do with any other leftovers.

2020/06/232020/06/23 jarodkintz1Leave a comment

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  • Even if I had both my knees replaced with two Rubik’s cubes, I’d still make coffee runs to Neighbor’s Mill. The only puzzle to me is how anybody would ever choose a donut from Dunkin’ over one from Dad’s.
  • Your eyes have to be glazed over with stupidity to think that one FREE glazed donut per day from Krispy Kreme is some kind of valuable reward for letting yourself be injected with fluid that makes viper poison look wholesome.
  • At BearPaw Duck and Meme Farm, we believe the only thing that separates meatloaf from birthday cake is candles. Since they both have the same great flavor, why don’t you buy a slab for your next celebration?
  • As a farmer of waterfalls here in Harrison, Arkansas, I get to raise air-flowing bodies of aqua. Though this one is just a baby, with the right diet, it may grow up to be the next Niagara.
  • My favorite song is With Or Without You. That’s also how I dance.
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