I am The Mozart of Sportsball. If you think that’s cool, just imagine who I’d be if I actually played.
Tag: duck memes
One time I got beat up by a post-duck. That pillow hit hard.
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Choose your words carefully, because you don’t want someone to misunderstand you inadvertently. Instead, be intentional with your miscommunication.
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Fans of my writing often say, “Jarod, you write such romantic words! Why isn’t more of your poetry featured above truck stop urinals all along I-95?” The answer is I don’t know, but I’m humbled by the praise.
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Is mathematics the language of the universe? 8 333 7260190482 2539321 22 3579512864 413314. But I could be wrong.
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It’s too bad GIFs are silent, because I recorded some original saxophone music to accompany this masterpiece. It sounds like ducks quacking on the moon, and if you’ve got an empty elevator that needs space to be filled, it’s now FOR SALE.
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In honor of The World’s Largest Occult Ceremony, I’m offering an Olympics Special. Not only will you go way over budget, as I’ll be overcharging you, but since it’s not your money and nobody will be watching, nobody will care.
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At BearPaw Duck and Meme Farm, we value self-expression—even if that extends to gender. That’s why we sell T-shirts in Men’s, Women’s, and More Expensive. There may be 333 different genders, but we’ll only charge you more money for 331 of them.
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I have a pet bicycle, and when I take it for a walk people look at me like I’m crazy. What, have you never seen an “I Voted!” T-shirt before?
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At BearPaw Duck and Meme Farm, we recognize that low prices shit on quality. I’m talking about a nasty dump in a mop bucket kind of way, which is why we stay clean of gimmicky deals.
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