The NFL product is so good it belongs in a can. It would be like Campbell’s vegetable soup, only chunkier.
Tag: duck meme
Helen Keller was a master at keeping secrets. Perhaps the biggest secret that she kept was that she was a he.
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You cannot buy what’s not for sale. But for a limited time, you can purchase what may or may not exist.
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Ducks can run, swim, fly, and have reduced the complexity of language down to the easily memorizable word, “Quack.” No wonder their eggs taste like the achievements of Roger Bannister, Michael Phelps, Amelia Earhart, and William Shakespeare.
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Every time a duck talks to you, it says, “Quack.” That’s a species so advanced it has reduced the complexity of communication down to a one-word language.
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The Flash can run, Aquaman can swim, and Superman can fly. Basically, every duck is like a Triple Superhero, and I think that’s worth a few billion dollars in ticket sales.
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I am The Mozart of Sportsball. If you think that’s cool, just imagine who I’d be if I actually played.
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People say jazz music puts them to sleep. As a master saxophone player, I don’t know if they’re trying to insult me or insinuating they found a holistic solution to their insomnia. I hope it’s the latter, because now my music comes in water-soluble tablets to be taken before bed.
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I had the hardest time trying to change a light bulb, so my boss called me Thomas Edison. It only took me 10,000 failed attempts to figure it out, but I’d say that was eight paid hours well spent.
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One time I got beat up by a post-duck. That pillow hit hard.
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