I play the saxophone like a duck quacks. Tickets are ONLY $19.95. Lessons sold separately. No assembly required.

2021/06/27 jarodkintz1Leave a comment

When the music slaps, I dance like Jell-O. But not the green kind. No, I move like the sexy red. If you’ve never been sexually attracted to gelatin, wait until you see me jiggle.

2021/06/082021/06/08 jarodkintz1Leave a comment

The main ingredient in a baseball card is cardboard. That makes its taste indistinguishable from Pizza Hut’s crust.

2021/05/26 jarodkintz1Leave a comment

I make BearPaw Duck and Meme Farm’s World Famous SwimmingBird Soup out of four ingredients: Duckling, water, swimming, and Liquified Michael Phelps Motivational Quotes. It’s the last one that gives it that golden flavor.

2021/05/09 jarodkintz1Leave a comment

BearPaw Duck & Meme Farm will be getting a Mouser Cat tomorrow. I posted a No Trespassing sign, but the field mice just refused to keep out of Quackster Castle. So, tomorrow they will meet a mighty hunter of their nightmares.

2021/02/12 jarodkintz1Leave a comment

It’s quite likely that I just wrote the BEST book full of duck quotes in existence. It’s also true that it’s probably the ONLY book of duck quotes, but so what? I’m still number ONE, and in my book, that’s worthy of a gold medal.

2021/01/022021/01/14 jarodkintz1Leave a comment

I have a long-running joke about Roger Bannister. Well, not THAT long. It’s exactly a mile, but the joke is under four minutes.

2020/12/29 jarodkintz1Leave a comment

I also sell REAL donut holes. Unlike those fake donut holes, that are composed entirely of donut, my donut holes are made of 100% pure emptiness. There’s nothing there, and THAT is how you know you’ve bought an authentic donut hole.

2020/12/26 jarodkintz1Leave a comment

I just got done designing the logo for BearPaw Duck Farm, and I made it from scratch. I even have the claw mark to prove it.

2020/12/24 jarodkintz1Leave a comment

If you’ve ever had my World Famous SwimmingBird Soup, you probably think it tastes like a kangaroo chase. You may wonder, “Is it organic?” The answer is YES! I use 100% REAL powdered kangaroo chase to flavor my soup.

2020/12/21 jarodkintz1Leave a comment

Tag: duck farm

I play the saxophone like a duck quacks. Tickets are ONLY $19.95. Lessons sold separately. No assembly required.

Like this:

When the music slaps, I dance like Jell-O. But not the green kind. No, I move like the sexy red. If you’ve never been sexually attracted to gelatin, wait until you see me jiggle.

Like this:

The main ingredient in a baseball card is cardboard. That makes its taste indistinguishable from Pizza Hut’s crust.

Like this:

I make BearPaw Duck and Meme Farm’s World Famous SwimmingBird Soup out of four ingredients: Duckling, water, swimming, and Liquified Michael Phelps Motivational Quotes. It’s the last one that gives it that golden flavor.

Like this:

BearPaw Duck & Meme Farm will be getting a Mouser Cat tomorrow. I posted a No Trespassing sign, but the field mice just refused to keep out of Quackster Castle. So, tomorrow they will meet a mighty hunter of their nightmares.

Like this:

It’s quite likely that I just wrote the BEST book full of duck quotes in existence. It’s also true that it’s probably the ONLY book of duck quotes, but so what? I’m still number ONE, and in my book, that’s worthy of a gold medal.

Like this:

I have a long-running joke about Roger Bannister. Well, not THAT long. It’s exactly a mile, but the joke is under four minutes.

Like this:

I also sell REAL donut holes. Unlike those fake donut holes, that are composed entirely of donut, my donut holes are made of 100% pure emptiness. There’s nothing there, and THAT is how you know you’ve bought an authentic donut hole.

Like this:

I just got done designing the logo for BearPaw Duck Farm, and I made it from scratch. I even have the claw mark to prove it.

Like this:

If you’ve ever had my World Famous SwimmingBird Soup, you probably think it tastes like a kangaroo chase. You may wonder, “Is it organic?” The answer is YES! I use 100% REAL powdered kangaroo chase to flavor my soup.

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