Having a duck farm means dealing with a lot of shit. That’s why I have a meme farm too, so I can also talk a lot of shit.
Tag: duck farm
“It’s not a proper duck farm if customers can’t ride a roaring bear—a bear that also happens to play the trumpet.” That’s a quote uttered and muttered by my grandpa, and he was mute, so you know it must be true.
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It’s too bad GIFs are silent, because I recorded some original saxophone music to accompany this masterpiece. It sounds like ducks quacking on the moon, and if you’ve got an empty elevator that needs space to be filled, it’s now FOR SALE.
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I play the saxophone like a duck quacks. Tickets are ONLY $19.95. Lessons sold separately. No assembly required.
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When the music slaps, I dance like Jell-O. But not the green kind. No, I move like the sexy red. If you’ve never been sexually attracted to gelatin, wait until you see me jiggle.
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The main ingredient in a baseball card is cardboard. That makes its taste indistinguishable from Pizza Hut’s crust.
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I make BearPaw Duck and Meme Farm’s World Famous SwimmingBird Soup out of four ingredients: Duckling, water, swimming, and Liquified Michael Phelps Motivational Quotes. It’s the last one that gives it that golden flavor.
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BearPaw Duck & Meme Farm will be getting a Mouser Cat tomorrow. I posted a No Trespassing sign, but the field mice just refused to keep out of Quackster Castle. So, tomorrow they will meet a mighty hunter of their nightmares.
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It’s quite likely that I just wrote the BEST book full of duck quotes in existence. It’s also true that it’s probably the ONLY book of duck quotes, but so what? I’m still number ONE, and in my book, that’s worthy of a gold medal.
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I have a long-running joke about Roger Bannister. Well, not THAT long. It’s exactly a mile, but the joke is under four minutes.
jarodkintz.com 