Skip to content

Love now, not later. Also, love later.

  • Contact Me
  • About
  • My Books On Amazon

Tag: duck farm

I used to sell chairs, until one day a customer told me that they weren’t dancing equipment. Turns out dancing doesn’t involve sitting in silence alone, and I’d been doing it wrong for years.

2022/08/11 jarodkintz1Leave a comment

Share this:

  • Email
  • Tweet
  • Share on Tumblr
  • More
  • Print
  • Pocket
  • WhatsApp

Like this:

Like Loading...

Share this:

  • Email
  • Tweet
  • Share on Tumblr
  • More
  • Print
  • Pocket
  • WhatsApp

Like this:

Like Loading...

Well, what are you waiting for? Grab a shovel and start digging your way out of the hole you’ve worked yourself into.

2022/08/01 jarodkintz1Leave a comment

Share this:

  • Email
  • Tweet
  • Share on Tumblr
  • More
  • Print
  • Pocket
  • WhatsApp

Like this:

Like Loading...

Share this:

  • Email
  • Tweet
  • Share on Tumblr
  • More
  • Print
  • Pocket
  • WhatsApp

Like this:

Like Loading...

Having a duck farm means dealing with a lot of shit. That’s why I have a meme farm too, so I can also talk a lot of shit.

2021/11/04 jarodkintz1Leave a comment

Share this:

  • Email
  • Tweet
  • Share on Tumblr
  • More
  • Print
  • Pocket
  • WhatsApp

Like this:

Like Loading...

Share this:

  • Email
  • Tweet
  • Share on Tumblr
  • More
  • Print
  • Pocket
  • WhatsApp

Like this:

Like Loading...

“It’s not a proper duck farm if customers can’t ride a roaring bear—a bear that also happens to play the trumpet.” That’s a quote uttered and muttered by my grandpa, and he was mute, so you know it must be true.

2021/10/22 jarodkintz1Leave a comment

Share this:

  • Email
  • Tweet
  • Share on Tumblr
  • More
  • Print
  • Pocket
  • WhatsApp

Like this:

Like Loading...

Share this:

  • Email
  • Tweet
  • Share on Tumblr
  • More
  • Print
  • Pocket
  • WhatsApp

Like this:

Like Loading...

It’s too bad GIFs are silent, because I recorded some original saxophone music to accompany this masterpiece. It sounds like ducks quacking on the moon, and if you’ve got an empty elevator that needs space to be filled, it’s now FOR SALE.

2021/09/17 jarodkintz1Leave a comment

Share this:

  • Email
  • Tweet
  • Share on Tumblr
  • More
  • Print
  • Pocket
  • WhatsApp

Like this:

Like Loading...

Share this:

  • Email
  • Tweet
  • Share on Tumblr
  • More
  • Print
  • Pocket
  • WhatsApp

Like this:

Like Loading...

I play the saxophone like a duck quacks. Tickets are ONLY $19.95. Lessons sold separately. No assembly required.

2021/06/27 jarodkintz1Leave a comment

Share this:

  • Email
  • Tweet
  • Share on Tumblr
  • More
  • Print
  • Pocket
  • WhatsApp

Like this:

Like Loading...

Share this:

  • Email
  • Tweet
  • Share on Tumblr
  • More
  • Print
  • Pocket
  • WhatsApp

Like this:

Like Loading...

When the music slaps, I dance like Jell-O. But not the green kind. No, I move like the sexy red. If you’ve never been sexually attracted to gelatin, wait until you see me jiggle.

2021/06/082021/06/08 jarodkintz1Leave a comment

Share this:

  • Email
  • Tweet
  • Share on Tumblr
  • More
  • Print
  • Pocket
  • WhatsApp

Like this:

Like Loading...

Share this:

  • Email
  • Tweet
  • Share on Tumblr
  • More
  • Print
  • Pocket
  • WhatsApp

Like this:

Like Loading...

The main ingredient in a baseball card is cardboard. That makes its taste indistinguishable from Pizza Hut’s crust.

2021/05/26 jarodkintz1Leave a comment

Share this:

  • Email
  • Tweet
  • Share on Tumblr
  • More
  • Print
  • Pocket
  • WhatsApp

Like this:

Like Loading...

Share this:

  • Email
  • Tweet
  • Share on Tumblr
  • More
  • Print
  • Pocket
  • WhatsApp

Like this:

Like Loading...

I make BearPaw Duck and Meme Farm’s World Famous SwimmingBird Soup out of four ingredients: Duckling, water, swimming, and Liquified Michael Phelps Motivational Quotes. It’s the last one that gives it that golden flavor.

2021/05/09 jarodkintz1Leave a comment

Share this:

  • Email
  • Tweet
  • Share on Tumblr
  • More
  • Print
  • Pocket
  • WhatsApp

Like this:

Like Loading...

Share this:

  • Email
  • Tweet
  • Share on Tumblr
  • More
  • Print
  • Pocket
  • WhatsApp

Like this:

Like Loading...

BearPaw Duck & Meme Farm will be getting a Mouser Cat tomorrow. I posted a No Trespassing sign, but the field mice just refused to keep out of Quackster Castle. So, tomorrow they will meet a mighty hunter of their nightmares.

2021/02/12 jarodkintz1Leave a comment

Share this:

  • Email
  • Tweet
  • Share on Tumblr
  • More
  • Print
  • Pocket
  • WhatsApp

Like this:

Like Loading...

Share this:

  • Email
  • Tweet
  • Share on Tumblr
  • More
  • Print
  • Pocket
  • WhatsApp

Like this:

Like Loading...

Posts navigation

Older posts

tag cloud

Follow me on Twitter

My Tweets

Recent Posts

  • Everyone is getting crazier. And poorer. Which is making everyone even crazier.
  • I once wrote a 100,000-word book. But don’t worry, I managed to edit it down to just over one million words.
  • A hundred dollars used to have value. Now it has grown fat and worthless. Or has it grown so skinny as to be useless?
  • If I were the world’s richest man, I’d present myself as the world’s poorest, because I’d want people to want me for me. In fact, I’m so poor I want to be Guinness verified as The World’s Poorest—and I’m even willing to pay for the title (a bribe).
  • Do you enjoy being out in nature? By 2030, when you’re living in your 20 by 30 cement stacked box in the city, you’ll probably be able to rent walks in the park for ONLY $19.95 per month.
Blog at WordPress.com.
  • Follow Following
    • jarodkintz.com
    • Join 596 other followers
    • Already have a WordPress.com account? Log in now.
    • jarodkintz.com
    • Customize
    • Follow Following
    • Sign up
    • Log in
    • Report this content
    • View site in Reader
    • Manage subscriptions
    • Collapse this bar
 

Loading Comments...
 

    %d bloggers like this:
      %d bloggers like this:
        %d bloggers like this:
          %d bloggers like this:
            %d bloggers like this:
              %d bloggers like this:
                %d bloggers like this:
                  %d bloggers like this:
                    %d bloggers like this:
                      %d bloggers like this:
                        %d bloggers like this: