Skip to content

Love now, not later. Also, love later.

  • Contact Me
  • About
  • My Books On Amazon

Tag: duck farm

It’s quite likely that I just wrote the BEST book full of duck quotes in existence. It’s also true that it’s probably the ONLY book of duck quotes, but so what? I’m still number ONE, and in my book, that’s worthy of a gold medal.

2021/01/022021/01/14 jarodkintz1Leave a comment

Share this:

  • Email
  • Tweet
  • Share on Tumblr
  • More
  • Print
  • Pocket
  • WhatsApp

Like this:

Like Loading...

Share this:

  • Email
  • Tweet
  • Share on Tumblr
  • More
  • Print
  • Pocket
  • WhatsApp

Like this:

Like Loading...

I have a long-running joke about Roger Bannister. Well, not THAT long. It’s exactly a mile, but the joke is under four minutes.

2020/12/29 jarodkintz1Leave a comment

Share this:

  • Email
  • Tweet
  • Share on Tumblr
  • More
  • Print
  • Pocket
  • WhatsApp

Like this:

Like Loading...

Share this:

  • Email
  • Tweet
  • Share on Tumblr
  • More
  • Print
  • Pocket
  • WhatsApp

Like this:

Like Loading...

I also sell REAL donut holes. Unlike those fake donut holes, that are composed entirely of donut, my donut holes are made of 100% pure emptiness. There’s nothing there, and THAT is how you know you’ve bought an authentic donut hole.

2020/12/26 jarodkintz1Leave a comment

Share this:

  • Email
  • Tweet
  • Share on Tumblr
  • More
  • Print
  • Pocket
  • WhatsApp

Like this:

Like Loading...

Share this:

  • Email
  • Tweet
  • Share on Tumblr
  • More
  • Print
  • Pocket
  • WhatsApp

Like this:

Like Loading...

I just got done designing the logo for BearPaw Duck Farm, and I made it from scratch. I even have the claw mark to prove it.

2020/12/24 jarodkintz1Leave a comment

Share this:

  • Email
  • Tweet
  • Share on Tumblr
  • More
  • Print
  • Pocket
  • WhatsApp

Like this:

Like Loading...

Share this:

  • Email
  • Tweet
  • Share on Tumblr
  • More
  • Print
  • Pocket
  • WhatsApp

Like this:

Like Loading...

If you’ve ever had my World Famous SwimmingBird Soup, you probably think it tastes like a kangaroo chase. You may wonder, “Is it organic?” The answer is YES! I use 100% REAL powdered kangaroo chase to flavor my soup.

2020/12/21 jarodkintz1Leave a comment

Share this:

  • Email
  • Tweet
  • Share on Tumblr
  • More
  • Print
  • Pocket
  • WhatsApp

Like this:

Like Loading...

Share this:

  • Email
  • Tweet
  • Share on Tumblr
  • More
  • Print
  • Pocket
  • WhatsApp

Like this:

Like Loading...

My ducks are ON SALE at Buy Four, Get TWO prices. (Limit three per purchase.)

2020/12/17 jarodkintz1Leave a comment

Share this:

  • Email
  • Tweet
  • Share on Tumblr
  • More
  • Print
  • Pocket
  • WhatsApp

Like this:

Like Loading...

Share this:

  • Email
  • Tweet
  • Share on Tumblr
  • More
  • Print
  • Pocket
  • WhatsApp

Like this:

Like Loading...

If you don’t understand what I mean, it’s because I make Memes of The Future. Try reading it again in ten minutes and see if time has caught up yet.

2020/12/12 jarodkintz1Leave a comment

Share this:

  • Email
  • Tweet
  • Share on Tumblr
  • More
  • Print
  • Pocket
  • WhatsApp

Like this:

Like Loading...

Share this:

  • Email
  • Tweet
  • Share on Tumblr
  • More
  • Print
  • Pocket
  • WhatsApp

Like this:

Like Loading...

When you arrive at BearPaw Duck Farm, ask for Natalie. Natalie doesn’t work here, and nobody here knows anybody named Natalie, but that doesn’t mean you shouldn’t ask for her. We have a cozy lobby where you can wait for her, with comfy wooden benches and cold coffee to drink.

2020/12/08 jarodkintz1Leave a comment

Share this:

  • Email
  • Tweet
  • Share on Tumblr
  • More
  • Print
  • Pocket
  • WhatsApp

Like this:

Like Loading...

Share this:

  • Email
  • Tweet
  • Share on Tumblr
  • More
  • Print
  • Pocket
  • WhatsApp

Like this:

Like Loading...

People who say I can’t do something are wrong. I can do it. I just don’t want to do it. Or I’ll get around to doing it after they’ve already gotten someone else to do it. But that kind of customer service usually costs extra, and that’s why you shop BearPaw Duck Farm.

2020/12/03 jarodkintz1Leave a comment

Share this:

  • Email
  • Tweet
  • Share on Tumblr
  • More
  • Print
  • Pocket
  • WhatsApp

Like this:

Like Loading...

Share this:

  • Email
  • Tweet
  • Share on Tumblr
  • More
  • Print
  • Pocket
  • WhatsApp

Like this:

Like Loading...

People always say to me, “Jarod, do you wear a cloud for a wig?” The answer is no, my hair is naturally hovering water vapor, and if your farm is in a drought, you can pay me to come stand in your field and water your crops with my stormy mane.

2020/11/26 jarodkintz1Leave a comment

Share this:

  • Email
  • Tweet
  • Share on Tumblr
  • More
  • Print
  • Pocket
  • WhatsApp

Like this:

Like Loading...

Share this:

  • Email
  • Tweet
  • Share on Tumblr
  • More
  • Print
  • Pocket
  • WhatsApp

Like this:

Like Loading...

Posts navigation

Older posts

tag cloud

Follow me on Twitter

My Tweets

Recent Posts

  • Who is going to win this year’s Super Bowl? I don’t know, because rather than waste my time watching The NFL, I’d rather watch other scripted TV programs.
  • Combat is dangerous, and no matter if it’s Brazilian Jiu-Jitsu, Muay Thai, or grappling, no Octagon Warrior wants to get put to sleep by a Pillow Fighter. That’s why Dana White won’t sign me to a contract.
  • Dr. Gibsmedat is right. Where’s my fake money?!
  • Eating at Outback in Branson is always a good time. But you’d better plan ahead, because that time is seventeen hours in the future.
  • The way water sits still in a glass and holds its shape, that’s how I dance. Luckily for you, I am now offering FREE refills.
Blog at WordPress.com.
Cancel
loading Cancel
Post was not sent - check your email addresses!
Email check failed, please try again
Sorry, your blog cannot share posts by email.
%d bloggers like this:
    %d bloggers like this:
      %d bloggers like this:
        %d bloggers like this:
          %d bloggers like this:
            %d bloggers like this:
              %d bloggers like this:
                %d bloggers like this:
                  %d bloggers like this:
                    %d bloggers like this:
                      %d bloggers like this: