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Love now, not later. Also, love later.

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Tag: drive

No matter where you drive in this country, you end up in Clown World. That’s why I make my car go honk, honk.

2021/01/21 jarodkintz1Leave a comment

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Who would you rather buy your Duck Soup from, me or some other guy? OK fine, but what if that other guy is SOLD OUT? Then what? What do you mean you’ll just go to Popeyes for a Spicy Chicken Sandwich?!

2020/08/012020/08/01 jarodkintz1Leave a comment

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There are no Speed Limit signs on your road to success. The revenue collectors are irrelevant and should be avoided at all cost.

2020/02/042020/02/04 jarodkintz1Leave a comment

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Some people can take long naps. I’m one of them. That’s why I’m Nap Champion of The World. In fact, I was asleep for the first 20 years of my life. I credit The Iron Triangle for waking me up.

2019/12/102019/12/10 jarodkintz1Leave a comment

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A cloud with a stick affixed would make the ultimate umbrella. It’s the kind of thing I’d love to sell to midwestern farmers visiting Branson, tourists eager to spend all their government subsidy money.

2019/12/072019/12/07 jarodkintz1Leave a comment

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My heart is shaped like a strawberry, and when it’s full of your lemonade-flavored love it’s probably something that Branson tourists would pay $19.95 to sip on in the hot summer. I’m hoping you’ll supply me with FREE refills.

2019/02/132019/02/13 jarodkintz1Leave a comment

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I make love like I make art. At least, that’s my impression while I’m making it.

2017/12/09 jarodkintz1Leave a comment

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  • I used to sell chairs, until one day a customer told me that they weren’t dancing equipment. Turns out dancing doesn’t involve sitting in silence alone, and I’d been doing it wrong for years.
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