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Tag: dreams

Who am I when I’m asleep? Dreams, they are who I am when I’m too tired to be me.

2019/07/05 jarodkintz1Leave a comment

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I’m now selling my NEW face cream that you put on before you go to sleep at night, and when you wake up in the morning you have two additional faces on your skin that will be sure to get you noticed. $19.95 while avocados last. (Nachos sold separately.)

2019/04/102019/04/10 jarodkintz1Leave a comment

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If you buy enough fries from me, you can become your own bicycle ramp, and then you can actively become part of another person’s dream. Ask me about Bulk Discounts.

2019/01/082019/01/08 jarodkintz1Leave a comment

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My meatloaf is cow sushi, in that it’s absolutely raw. It tastes terrible, but it’s made with 100% Pure Love, and that’s why I hope you’ll take home all the leftovers before they get too stinky.

2018/11/272018/11/27 jarodkintz1Leave a comment

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In a Lake of Clouds, there’s only one thing you can fish for: Dreams. Mostly I catch mine, but sometimes I catch yours, and I must say I am flattered to always see myself as the co-star in your subconscious fantasies.

2018/10/222018/10/22 jarodkintz1Leave a comment

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Romance is like billowy smoke that rolls by in the breeze, never to tumble on the wind the same way again, and no matter how much you want to recapture its signature essence, once it floats by it’s gone forever.

2018/08/122018/08/12 jarodkintz1Leave a comment

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Even now, I am asleep while we speak. Well, we’re not speaking; I’m writing, and you’re just happy to be a part of my dreams. I’ll let it slide tonight, but tomorrow night, you’re not invited unless you bring chocolate. (Do you also use semicolons in your dreams?)

2018/05/152018/05/15 jarodkintz1Leave a comment

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I am the CNN of Used Car Salesmen. I’ll sell you a dream, but don’t expect it to get you anywhere.

2018/02/032018/02/03 jarodkintz1Leave a comment

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  • Even if I had both my knees replaced with two Rubik’s cubes, I’d still make coffee runs to Neighbor’s Mill. The only puzzle to me is how anybody would ever choose a donut from Dunkin’ over one from Dad’s.
  • Your eyes have to be glazed over with stupidity to think that one FREE glazed donut per day from Krispy Kreme is some kind of valuable reward for letting yourself be injected with fluid that makes viper poison look wholesome.
  • At BearPaw Duck and Meme Farm, we believe the only thing that separates meatloaf from birthday cake is candles. Since they both have the same great flavor, why don’t you buy a slab for your next celebration?
  • As a farmer of waterfalls here in Harrison, Arkansas, I get to raise air-flowing bodies of aqua. Though this one is just a baby, with the right diet, it may grow up to be the next Niagara.
  • My favorite song is With Or Without You. That’s also how I dance.
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