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Tag: dog

A fire hydrant is the ultimate fountain drink machine. Ask me how you can get FREE refills.

2021/02/23 jarodkintz1Leave a comment

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I love the sound of fall leaves crunching under my feet as I walk on them. But wait, those are potato chips, my football helmet is full of nacho cheese, and this is winter. Shop #BearPawDuckAndMemeFarm for a smorgasbord of assorted tasty ear treats.

2021/02/13 jarodkintz1Leave a comment

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BearPaw Duck & Meme Farm will be getting a Mouser Cat tomorrow. I posted a No Trespassing sign, but the field mice just refused to keep out of Quackster Castle. So, tomorrow they will meet a mighty hunter of their nightmares.

2021/02/12 jarodkintz1Leave a comment

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People told me it couldn’t be done, but I didn’t listen, because I had already paid for a trophy to award myself. So when I couldn’t do it, I went and purchased a participation trophy, and then I threw myself a victory celebration.

2020/05/062020/05/06 jarodkintz1Leave a comment

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If you can swallow all their lies, and the blatant and obvious fraud, without tasting the absolute farce, then surely you can swallow dog poop. FREE samples this November!

2020/04/112020/04/11 jarodkintz1Leave a comment

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In 2016 I deftly avoided stepping in the dog shit known as our Presidential Election. But here we are, nearly four years later, and some people are still chewing on that same piece of poop, while others have found a fresh turd to gargle.

2020/03/152020/03/15 jarodkintz1Leave a comment

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Some people make weird memes, but as the Founder, President, and only member of Citizens For Serious Memes And Against Absurdity, I think that’s nonsense. Meetings for this prestigious Meme Culture Association are held every morning in my shower.

2020/03/102020/03/10 jarodkintz1Leave a comment

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There are no Speed Limit signs on your road to success. The revenue collectors are irrelevant and should be avoided at all cost.

2020/02/042020/02/04 jarodkintz1Leave a comment

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I take jokes very seriously. So seriously, in fact, that I never take jokes.

2019/11/042019/11/04 jarodkintz1Leave a comment

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Waterfall escalators are now ON SALE. Treat your Splashing Snuggle Factory to the finest mobility equipment, and let it enjoy its old age with dignity.

2019/04/082019/04/08 jarodkintz1Leave a comment

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Recent Posts

  • Let me know the next time you go on a tropical vacation, so I can knit you a bikini. If you book now, I’ll even throw in a sloshing coffee table that comes with FREE refills.
  • They call it the Theater of War because it’s a play. The Zionists are playing you for fools, and they applaud when you kill their enemies—and they applaud when you die fighting for them. The next war will be their biggest ever blood-sacrifice ritual to Moloch.
  • Everybody knows I’m an adrenaline junky. That’s why nobody lets me watch mainstream news, because they know how it gets my heart rate amped. Fake narratives have a way of doing that to me.
  • It’s not that I don’t like buying things, it’s that I don’t like paying. But if you’re going to waste your money, you may as well spend it on me.
  • Dunkin’ Donuts considers its rival to be Starbucks. That means when Dunkin’ comes to town, not only are local donut shops threatened, but so are our local coffee shops. Way to go, Chamber of Commerce! You have helped to siphon money away from TWO categories of local businesses!
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