Do you often feel lethargic, like you have no energy? Next time, try charging your body through electrocution via lightning bolt. I now make and sell pointy metal hats that are designed to be worn in thunderstorms.
Tag: discount
When a mass of people gather to watch two people fight, the best seat in the house is behind the counter that displays the candy and popcorn FOR SALE. Show your “I VOTED” sticker to receive a 50% discount on a half-sized bag.
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My boot-flavored lollipops are now available in size 15, for that depth of texture statists love. Discounts available for VOTERS.
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What better time to succeed than when you are failing and your life depends on you accomplishing your goal? That’s why the best time to call me for swimming lessons is when you are drowning, but don’t expect to make The Olympics or not die your first coaching session. No refunds.
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Being so good at math now is surprising, because I didn’t learn to count until the 7th grade. Or was it the 8th? I get those two numbers mixed up.
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And just for Buying One and Getting One FREE, you’ll also get the opportunity to buy a SECOND one for FREE for FULL PRICE. Act NOW before this deal grows fins and flies away.
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Artificial Intelligence is here, and it’s going to eat your lunch. But that’s OK, because it’s a buffet. Buy one shoe, get the second one FREE.
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I once made a muffin, but that was years ago. I suppose it’s about time to discount it and put it ON SALE. I would do a Buy One, Get One FREE, but I only made one. So I suppose I’ll offer it at Buy Half, Get Half FREE! (Limit one half per one whole customer.)
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The point of modeling is to increase the visibility of the clothing being showcased, so why hire beautiful people who only distract from the product? Why not hire me at 50% the cost, and a 100% increase in transparency?
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If you buy enough fries from me, you can become your own bicycle ramp, and then you can actively become part of another person’s dream. Ask me about Bulk Discounts.
jarodkintz.com 