As an amateur Air Machine Architect, I design contraptions meant to take man from Point A to Point Z without touching points B through Y. My first Air Machine was modeled off the aerodynamic bodies of ducks, which is why it required water to operate and left poop everywhere.

2020/05/232020/05/23 jarodkintz1Leave a comment

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Even if you’re a genderfluid that offers FREE refills on sexual orientation, and you HATE labels, you have to admit that this label for April in The Ozarks is eye-popping. I’m talking Marty Feldman eye-popping.

2020/03/122020/03/12 jarodkintz1Leave a comment

Neiman Marcus will be out of business by next year, unlike me, who was never IN business to begin with, so I can make entrepreneurial missteps and then repackage them as Dancing Lessons.

2019/09/14 jarodkintz1Leave a comment

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Why would you want to stay here and defend your home from foreign invaders, when you could be out there, fighting in fraudulent wars so that Israel might profit?

2019/07/262019/07/26 jarodkintz1Leave a comment

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There’s a Family Reunion coming up, and since I’m pondering deleting Facebook, I decided to make a Fresh Meme for my blood normies to enjoy.

2018/03/29 jarodkintz1Leave a comment

Too bad you can’t actually wear your heart on your sleeve. Oh well, at least you can wear my heart on your shirt.

2018/01/03 jarodkintz1Leave a comment

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Buy it here

Spectators tell me I dance like a flying fish, and it’s true, I am #TheMichaelPhelpsOfBodyAviation, and right now my dancing lessons are ON SALE at defective parachute prices.

2017/12/27 jarodkintz1Leave a comment

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Just because my absurdity comes in a box shaped like a coffin that’s not actually a coffin doesn’t mean I don’t also sell coffins. Right now my coffins are on sale at Buy One Get One Half Off prices. I also sell them in family packs.

2017/12/26 jarodkintz1Leave a comment

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I’m a very serious person. You can tell because I make futuristic suggestions like, “Instead of gasoline, cars should be fueled by dancing.” In that future, if you want to slow your car down, you’d just turn down the volume knob on your stereo.

2017/12/19 jarodkintz1Leave a comment

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Tag: design

As an amateur Air Machine Architect, I design contraptions meant to take man from Point A to Point Z without touching points B through Y. My first Air Machine was modeled off the aerodynamic bodies of ducks, which is why it required water to operate and left poop everywhere.

Like this:

Even if you’re a genderfluid that offers FREE refills on sexual orientation, and you HATE labels, you have to admit that this label for April in The Ozarks is eye-popping. I’m talking Marty Feldman eye-popping.

Like this:

Neiman Marcus will be out of business by next year, unlike me, who was never IN business to begin with, so I can make entrepreneurial missteps and then repackage them as Dancing Lessons.

Like this:

Why would you want to stay here and defend your home from foreign invaders, when you could be out there, fighting in fraudulent wars so that Israel might profit?

Like this:

There’s a Family Reunion coming up, and since I’m pondering deleting Facebook, I decided to make a Fresh Meme for my blood normies to enjoy.

Like this:

Too bad you can’t actually wear your heart on your sleeve. Oh well, at least you can wear my heart on your shirt.

Like this:

Spectators tell me I dance like a flying fish, and it’s true, I am #TheMichaelPhelpsOfBodyAviation, and right now my dancing lessons are ON SALE at defective parachute prices.

Like this:

Just because my absurdity comes in a box shaped like a coffin that’s not actually a coffin doesn’t mean I don’t also sell coffins. Right now my coffins are on sale at Buy One Get One Half Off prices. I also sell them in family packs.

Like this:

I’m a very serious person. You can tell because I make futuristic suggestions like, “Instead of gasoline, cars should be fueled by dancing.” In that future, if you want to slow your car down, you’d just turn down the volume knob on your stereo.

Like this:

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