I drink every ounce of beer like it’s a liquid gold coin. Craig at Cheeky Monkey made me feel like a Swiss vault—and at piggybank prices.
Music comes in through your ears, invisibly. But it’s tough to sell the invisible, so I devised a way to alchemize music from the purely audible into something you can taste. And for ONLY $19.95 I’m selling the whole dining experience. Visit my kiosk at The Branson Landing.
Here today, gone tomorrow—is that a reference to the value of a fiat currency like the dollar? Buy things that buy things, and don’t save things that don’t buy things.
I don’t know who this woman is, but she deserves a trophy for her ability to show off a trophy. It’s like a win-win, and that’s the kind of thing I’d like to offer FOR SALE for ONLY $19.95.
My boot-flavored lollipops are now available in size 15, for that depth of texture statists love. Discounts available for VOTERS.
When you act NOW, you also receive a FREE copy of my newest book: “How to put out riot fires with your naked body.” The book itself is burnable, and should altogether be banned by The Government.
I’m a man of faith, I believe. And it’s that very belief that gives me my faith. For me the two are one, like my sale on Frozen Duck Soup Popsicles: Buy Two For The Price Of One! (Offer not valid for residents of Alaska.)
As an amateur Air Machine Architect, I design contraptions meant to take man from Point A to Point Z without touching points B through Y. My first Air Machine was modeled off the aerodynamic bodies of ducks, which is why it required water to operate and left poop everywhere.
Covering motion stairs with fur does not make a Pet Escalator. Ask me how to convert your retirement nest egg into one giant omelet.