At BearPaw Duck and Meme Farm, we recognize that low prices shit on quality. I’m talking about a nasty dump in a mop bucket kind of way, which is why we stay clean of gimmicky deals. 2021/07/05 jarodkintz1Leave a comment Share this:EmailTweetShare on TumblrMorePrintPocketWhatsAppLike this:Like Loading... Share this:EmailTweetShare on TumblrMorePrintPocketWhatsAppLike this:Like Loading...
Do you often feel lethargic, like you have no energy? Next time, try charging your body through electrocution via lightning bolt. I now make and sell pointy metal hats that are designed to be worn in thunderstorms. 2021/06/28 jarodkintz1Leave a comment Share this:EmailTweetShare on TumblrMorePrintPocketWhatsAppLike this:Like Loading... Share this:EmailTweetShare on TumblrMorePrintPocketWhatsAppLike this:Like Loading...
You left too early last night. If only you’d have stayed another ten minutes, you’d have gotten to enjoy my dazzling saxophone solo. I’m sure my enraptured audience forgot that they were at a party and thought they were in an elevator. 2021/06/15 jarodkintz1Leave a comment Share this:EmailTweetShare on TumblrMorePrintPocketWhatsAppLike this:Like Loading... Share this:EmailTweetShare on TumblrMorePrintPocketWhatsAppLike this:Like Loading...
Your eyes have to be glazed over with stupidity to think that one FREE glazed donut per day from Krispy Kreme is some kind of valuable reward for letting yourself be injected with fluid that makes viper poison look wholesome. 2021/03/26 jarodkintz1Leave a comment Share this:EmailTweetShare on TumblrMorePrintPocketWhatsAppLike this:Like Loading... Share this:EmailTweetShare on TumblrMorePrintPocketWhatsAppLike this:Like Loading...
Consumers tell me, “Jarod, BearPaw Duck Farm has the longest wait times to reach a customer service representative.” I always reply, “The unsatisfactory products you have to purchase, but the lesson in patience you get for FREE.” 2020/12/27 jarodkintz1Leave a comment Share this:EmailTweetShare on TumblrMorePrintPocketWhatsAppLike this:Like Loading... Share this:EmailTweetShare on TumblrMorePrintPocketWhatsAppLike this:Like Loading...
People always ask me, “Jarod, BearPaw Duck Farm makes the BEST SwimmingBird Soup. So, what’s the secret ingredient?” Simple: Swimming. You don’t have to be Michael Phelps to figure that out. 2020/12/20 jarodkintz1Leave a comment Share this:EmailTweetShare on TumblrMorePrintPocketWhatsAppLike this:Like Loading... Share this:EmailTweetShare on TumblrMorePrintPocketWhatsAppLike this:Like Loading...
My ducks are ON SALE at Buy Four, Get TWO prices. (Limit three per purchase.) 2020/12/17 jarodkintz1Leave a comment Share this:EmailTweetShare on TumblrMorePrintPocketWhatsAppLike this:Like Loading... Share this:EmailTweetShare on TumblrMorePrintPocketWhatsAppLike this:Like Loading...
The great philosopher Alfred Pennyworth gave us his penny’s worth of thoughts when he said, “Some men just want to watch the world burn.” That’s true, and other men just want to laugh and sell marshmallows on sticks. Buy 12, get the 13th FREE. 2020/12/03 jarodkintz1Leave a comment Share this:EmailTweetShare on TumblrMorePrintPocketWhatsAppLike this:Like Loading... Share this:EmailTweetShare on TumblrMorePrintPocketWhatsAppLike this:Like Loading...
This is the deal of the century. Just not this century. Business was pretty good in the year 1234. My rates are competitive to that era. 2020/11/13 jarodkintz1Leave a comment Share this:EmailTweetShare on TumblrMorePrintPocketWhatsAppLike this:Like Loading... Share this:EmailTweetShare on TumblrMorePrintPocketWhatsAppLike this:Like Loading...
When a mass of people gather to watch two people fight, the best seat in the house is behind the counter that displays the candy and popcorn FOR SALE. Show your “I VOTED” sticker to receive a 50% discount on a half-sized bag. 2020/11/06 jarodkintz1Leave a comment Share this:EmailTweetShare on TumblrMorePrintPocketWhatsAppLike this:Like Loading... Share this:EmailTweetShare on TumblrMorePrintPocketWhatsAppLike this:Like Loading...