I only call my new cologne Insecticide, and it only smells like bug killer, but it is in fact no more deadly than voting. (Try it on pancakes!)

2019/09/132019/09/13 jarodkintz1Leave a comment

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Perhaps a coffin maker is the one salesman who can’t entice customers with Buy One Get One FREE. Especially if that customer is single, because he’s divorced and broke, from paying a fancy wedding DJ.

2019/09/042019/09/04 jarodkintz1Leave a comment

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The best part about FREE is you don’t have to pay for it. Unfortunately, I’m still going to have to charge you money.

2019/08/28 jarodkintz1Leave a comment

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To save money (for me, not you), my Dancing Lessons In A Box are now cardboard-free. (Box sold separately.) Also, this juice only seems Extra Large because this man is Extra Small. But what do you care, it’s FREE when you sign up for my Dancing Lessons.

2019/08/262019/08/26 jarodkintz1Leave a comment

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You can offer FREE swag, FREE food, and FREE entertainment, but if people have no money, then they’re not going to buy anything from you. And is that the failure of experiential retail—or The Banksters who have debased our currency and impoverished us all?

2019/08/112019/08/11 jarodkintz1Leave a comment

Why would you want to stay here and defend your home from foreign invaders, when you could be out there, fighting in fraudulent wars so that Israel might profit?

2019/07/262019/07/26 jarodkintz1Leave a comment

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When I sell a Karate Chop, I never give a handshake to seal the deal, because I don’t give out FREE samples of the deadliest product in all of Clown World.

2019/05/302019/05/30 jarodkintz1Leave a comment

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This is an innovative class, because you pay me $19.95, and in return I teach you nothing. But in doing so, I teach you everything, so I think it’s a deal and you’ll really get your money’s worth. Sign up today!

2019/05/012019/05/01 jarodkintz1Leave a comment

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If I were actually going to sell love, the best way to do it would be to give away FREE samples, because the more I gave away, the more I’d get in return and the more I’d have to sell.

2019/04/16 jarodkintz1Leave a comment

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I’m all about deals, and my favorite deal is where you pay me and you get nothing in return. Talk about pure profit!

2019/04/142019/04/14 jarodkintz1Leave a comment

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Tag: deal

I only call my new cologne Insecticide, and it only smells like bug killer, but it is in fact no more deadly than voting. (Try it on pancakes!)

Like this:

Perhaps a coffin maker is the one salesman who can’t entice customers with Buy One Get One FREE. Especially if that customer is single, because he’s divorced and broke, from paying a fancy wedding DJ.

Like this:

The best part about FREE is you don’t have to pay for it. Unfortunately, I’m still going to have to charge you money.

Like this:

To save money (for me, not you), my Dancing Lessons In A Box are now cardboard-free. (Box sold separately.) Also, this juice only seems Extra Large because this man is Extra Small. But what do you care, it’s FREE when you sign up for my Dancing Lessons.

Like this:

You can offer FREE swag, FREE food, and FREE entertainment, but if people have no money, then they’re not going to buy anything from you. And is that the failure of experiential retail—or The Banksters who have debased our currency and impoverished us all?

Like this:

Why would you want to stay here and defend your home from foreign invaders, when you could be out there, fighting in fraudulent wars so that Israel might profit?

Like this:

When I sell a Karate Chop, I never give a handshake to seal the deal, because I don’t give out FREE samples of the deadliest product in all of Clown World.

Like this:

This is an innovative class, because you pay me $19.95, and in return I teach you nothing. But in doing so, I teach you everything, so I think it’s a deal and you’ll really get your money’s worth. Sign up today!

Like this:

If I were actually going to sell love, the best way to do it would be to give away FREE samples, because the more I gave away, the more I’d get in return and the more I’d have to sell.

Like this:

I’m all about deals, and my favorite deal is where you pay me and you get nothing in return. Talk about pure profit!

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