I have never made a cashier cry, but I have gotten into a shouting match with one, because he counted up 11 items to ring up, and he was in the 10 items or less line, but one product I was buying was Buy One, Get One FREE, so I argued Item 11 should be thought of as invisible.

2019/12/132019/12/13 jarodkintz1Leave a comment

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Is shopping a chore, or is shopping a pleasure? Depends on who you are—and where you go to spend your money. Smiles cost nothing to give to customers, and they beat Buy One, Get One FREE.

2019/11/262019/11/26 jarodkintz1Leave a comment

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I make love like I make coffee. That’s why if you buy right now, you get FREE refills for life. (Limited to one customer only. Promotion not valid in the following states: Alaska and Hawaii.)

2019/10/312019/10/31 jarodkintz1Leave a comment

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Not only is the video game sample FREE, but so is the whole game—when you purchase a slice of Leftover Meatloaf. It’s FREE because it sucks, but consumers rank my Leftover Meatloaf as the #1 bath sponge, which is why it’s priced at $19.95.

2019/10/242019/10/24 jarodkintz1Leave a comment

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I only call my new cologne Insecticide, and it only smells like bug killer, but it is in fact no more deadly than voting. (Try it on pancakes!)

2019/09/132019/09/13 jarodkintz1Leave a comment

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Perhaps a coffin maker is the one salesman who can’t entice customers with Buy One Get One FREE. Especially if that customer is single, because he’s divorced and broke, from paying a fancy wedding DJ.

2019/09/042019/09/04 jarodkintz1Leave a comment

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The best part about FREE is you don’t have to pay for it. Unfortunately, I’m still going to have to charge you money.

2019/08/28 jarodkintz1Leave a comment

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To save money (for me, not you), my Dancing Lessons In A Box are now cardboard-free. (Box sold separately.) Also, this juice only seems Extra Large because this man is Extra Small. But what do you care, it’s FREE when you sign up for my Dancing Lessons.

2019/08/262019/08/26 jarodkintz1Leave a comment

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You can offer FREE swag, FREE food, and FREE entertainment, but if people have no money, then they’re not going to buy anything from you. And is that the failure of experiential retail—or The Banksters who have debased our currency and impoverished us all?

2019/08/112019/08/11 jarodkintz1Leave a comment

Why would you want to stay here and defend your home from foreign invaders, when you could be out there, fighting in fraudulent wars so that Israel might profit?

2019/07/262019/07/26 jarodkintz1Leave a comment

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Tag: deal

I have never made a cashier cry, but I have gotten into a shouting match with one, because he counted up 11 items to ring up, and he was in the 10 items or less line, but one product I was buying was Buy One, Get One FREE, so I argued Item 11 should be thought of as invisible.

Like this:

Is shopping a chore, or is shopping a pleasure? Depends on who you are—and where you go to spend your money. Smiles cost nothing to give to customers, and they beat Buy One, Get One FREE.

Like this:

I make love like I make coffee. That’s why if you buy right now, you get FREE refills for life. (Limited to one customer only. Promotion not valid in the following states: Alaska and Hawaii.)

Like this:

Not only is the video game sample FREE, but so is the whole game—when you purchase a slice of Leftover Meatloaf. It’s FREE because it sucks, but consumers rank my Leftover Meatloaf as the #1 bath sponge, which is why it’s priced at $19.95.

Like this:

I only call my new cologne Insecticide, and it only smells like bug killer, but it is in fact no more deadly than voting. (Try it on pancakes!)

Like this:

Perhaps a coffin maker is the one salesman who can’t entice customers with Buy One Get One FREE. Especially if that customer is single, because he’s divorced and broke, from paying a fancy wedding DJ.

Like this:

The best part about FREE is you don’t have to pay for it. Unfortunately, I’m still going to have to charge you money.

Like this:

To save money (for me, not you), my Dancing Lessons In A Box are now cardboard-free. (Box sold separately.) Also, this juice only seems Extra Large because this man is Extra Small. But what do you care, it’s FREE when you sign up for my Dancing Lessons.

Like this:

You can offer FREE swag, FREE food, and FREE entertainment, but if people have no money, then they’re not going to buy anything from you. And is that the failure of experiential retail—or The Banksters who have debased our currency and impoverished us all?

Like this:

Why would you want to stay here and defend your home from foreign invaders, when you could be out there, fighting in fraudulent wars so that Israel might profit?

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