A plague of black vultures has arrived to consume death and to disperse the stench of rotting corpses, and Satan’s minions have decreed it illegal to kill them. This is just one early sign that America is now under God’s judgment.
Tag: dark
The best wave machine is a hurricane, and one time in high school I skipped classes to go surfing in one. As I was tumbling on the ocean floor while my lungs were screeching like a scratchy Beastie Boys song, I thought, “Hey, maybe math class wouldn’t be so bad right now.”
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When I was a little boy, my grandpappy always used to say to me, “Some men farm, some men fish, some men hunt, and some men make dank memes. Son, you’re no farmer, fisherman, or hunter, and I think if you had a twin, I’d like him better than you.”
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A tree sticking up into the sky just before dark makes a Sunset Lollipop. And if you buy before tomorrow night, I’m selling them at Buy One Get One prices! (Limit one per customer per day. Also, my limit is one per day, as that’s all I keep in stock.)
jarodkintz.com 