When McDonald’s brags about serving billions and billions of people, I get disgusted, because that kind of cannibalism shouldn’t be a selling point for customers to continue paying for the opportunity to eat people.

2018/12/282018/12/28 jarodkintz1Leave a comment

I used to want to be an astronaut, but I gave up hanging around in a pool when I quit competitive swimming. These NASA scuba divers have never trained in the water like I have, and with or without a suit, I’d still beat them in a race.

2018/11/192018/11/19 jarodkintz1Leave a comment

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In a physical war, every soldier knows when he is under attack, but this Spiritual War is much more devastating, destructive, and decimating, because few Christians even realize they are marked and targeted for abuse.

2018/11/192018/11/19 jarodkintz1Leave a comment

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What I have to sell you is FREE, and it will only cost you time, because what I deal in is the absurd, and I have enough of it to fill up your whole lifetime.

2018/11/15 jarodkintz1Leave a comment

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It’s good to be king. I mean, I guess it is. I still have to pay taxes, so who’s the real ruler? I inherited my throne from my father, who died years before I was born, which is why his chair is so small.

2018/11/152018/11/15 jarodkintz1Leave a comment

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Am I a cynic? No, I’m a realist, and only a simpleton confuses the two.

2018/11/152018/11/15 jarodkintz1Leave a comment

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God gave writers one brain and two #MindMouths, so we could talk to ourselves and not have to bother conversing with anybody else by actually speaking. As you read this, my words go from me to you, half of a dialogue, and that’s one 50% I support 100%.

2018/11/082018/11/08 jarodkintz1Leave a comment

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People jealous of my dad bod would be even more envious to know that I don’t even train to maintain my slovenly appearance. My slob look is all natural. The only thing I train for is Election Day, my Olympics, where I vote so hard I literally save America. You’re welcome.

2018/11/042018/11/04 jarodkintz1Leave a comment

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The world needs more love, and I need more money, which is my my new #startup idea of a floating gondola rowed romantically on fog in The Ozarks is a win-win-win, with the first two wins going to me, and the third one going to you, for the incredibly LOW PRICE of just $19.95.

2018/10/242018/10/24 jarodkintz1Leave a comment

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In a Lake of Clouds, there’s only one thing you can fish for: Dreams. Mostly I catch mine, but sometimes I catch yours, and I must say I am flattered to always see myself as the co-star in your subconscious fantasies.

2018/10/222018/10/22 jarodkintz1Leave a comment

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Tag: dank memes

When McDonald’s brags about serving billions and billions of people, I get disgusted, because that kind of cannibalism shouldn’t be a selling point for customers to continue paying for the opportunity to eat people.

Like this:

I used to want to be an astronaut, but I gave up hanging around in a pool when I quit competitive swimming. These NASA scuba divers have never trained in the water like I have, and with or without a suit, I’d still beat them in a race.

Like this:

In a physical war, every soldier knows when he is under attack, but this Spiritual War is much more devastating, destructive, and decimating, because few Christians even realize they are marked and targeted for abuse.

Like this:

What I have to sell you is FREE, and it will only cost you time, because what I deal in is the absurd, and I have enough of it to fill up your whole lifetime.

Like this:

It’s good to be king. I mean, I guess it is. I still have to pay taxes, so who’s the real ruler? I inherited my throne from my father, who died years before I was born, which is why his chair is so small.

Like this:

Am I a cynic? No, I’m a realist, and only a simpleton confuses the two.

Like this:

God gave writers one brain and two #MindMouths, so we could talk to ourselves and not have to bother conversing with anybody else by actually speaking. As you read this, my words go from me to you, half of a dialogue, and that’s one 50% I support 100%.

Like this:

People jealous of my dad bod would be even more envious to know that I don’t even train to maintain my slovenly appearance. My slob look is all natural. The only thing I train for is Election Day, my Olympics, where I vote so hard I literally save America. You’re welcome.

Like this:

The world needs more love, and I need more money, which is my my new #startup idea of a floating gondola rowed romantically on fog in The Ozarks is a win-win-win, with the first two wins going to me, and the third one going to you, for the incredibly LOW PRICE of just $19.95.

Like this:

In a Lake of Clouds, there’s only one thing you can fish for: Dreams. Mostly I catch mine, but sometimes I catch yours, and I must say I am flattered to always see myself as the co-star in your subconscious fantasies.

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