“It’s not a proper duck farm if customers can’t ride a roaring bear—a bear that also happens to play the trumpet.” That’s a quote uttered and muttered by my grandpa, and he was mute, so you know it must be true.

2021/10/22 jarodkintz1Leave a comment

My philosophy on marketing for BearPaw Duck and Meme Farm is I like to think, “What would I do if I were running the company?” Then I remember that I am running the company, and I do that thing.

2021/10/03 jarodkintz1Leave a comment

When you hear my sales pitch, I want you to pretend you are Babe Ruth. I’ll pretend to be Peyton Manning, the greatest sports broadcaster of all insurance commercial actors.

2021/09/26 jarodkintz1Leave a comment

It’s too bad GIFs are silent, because I recorded some original saxophone music to accompany this masterpiece. It sounds like ducks quacking on the moon, and if you’ve got an empty elevator that needs space to be filled, it’s now FOR SALE.

2021/09/17 jarodkintz1Leave a comment

The funeral business is the only one with no repeat customers. Though you only die once, why not buy your own funeral from me twice? My Buy One Funeral, Get One FREE deal only applies the second time you purchase a custom Death Party.

2021/07/16 jarodkintz1Leave a comment

At BearPaw Duck and Meme Farm, we value self-expression—even if that extends to gender. That’s why we sell T-shirts in Men’s, Women’s, and More Expensive. There may be 333 different genders, but we’ll only charge you more money for 331 of them.

2021/07/12 jarodkintz1Leave a comment

I have a pet bicycle, and when I take it for a walk people look at me like I’m crazy. What, have you never seen an “I Voted!” T-shirt before?

2021/07/08 jarodkintz1Leave a comment

At BearPaw Duck and Meme Farm, we recognize that low prices shit on quality. I’m talking about a nasty dump in a mop bucket kind of way, which is why we stay clean of gimmicky deals.

2021/07/05 jarodkintz1Leave a comment

Do you often feel lethargic, like you have no energy? Next time, try charging your body through electrocution via lightning bolt. I now make and sell pointy metal hats that are designed to be worn in thunderstorms.

2021/06/28 jarodkintz1Leave a comment

You left too early last night. If only you’d have stayed another ten minutes, you’d have gotten to enjoy my dazzling saxophone solo. I’m sure my enraptured audience forgot that they were at a party and thought they were in an elevator.

2021/06/15 jarodkintz1Leave a comment

Tag: dank memes

“It’s not a proper duck farm if customers can’t ride a roaring bear—a bear that also happens to play the trumpet.” That’s a quote uttered and muttered by my grandpa, and he was mute, so you know it must be true.

Like this:

My philosophy on marketing for BearPaw Duck and Meme Farm is I like to think, “What would I do if I were running the company?” Then I remember that I am running the company, and I do that thing.

Like this:

When you hear my sales pitch, I want you to pretend you are Babe Ruth. I’ll pretend to be Peyton Manning, the greatest sports broadcaster of all insurance commercial actors.

Like this:

It’s too bad GIFs are silent, because I recorded some original saxophone music to accompany this masterpiece. It sounds like ducks quacking on the moon, and if you’ve got an empty elevator that needs space to be filled, it’s now FOR SALE.

Like this:

The funeral business is the only one with no repeat customers. Though you only die once, why not buy your own funeral from me twice? My Buy One Funeral, Get One FREE deal only applies the second time you purchase a custom Death Party.

Like this:

At BearPaw Duck and Meme Farm, we value self-expression—even if that extends to gender. That’s why we sell T-shirts in Men’s, Women’s, and More Expensive. There may be 333 different genders, but we’ll only charge you more money for 331 of them.

Like this:

I have a pet bicycle, and when I take it for a walk people look at me like I’m crazy. What, have you never seen an “I Voted!” T-shirt before?

Like this:

At BearPaw Duck and Meme Farm, we recognize that low prices shit on quality. I’m talking about a nasty dump in a mop bucket kind of way, which is why we stay clean of gimmicky deals.

Like this:

Do you often feel lethargic, like you have no energy? Next time, try charging your body through electrocution via lightning bolt. I now make and sell pointy metal hats that are designed to be worn in thunderstorms.

Like this:

You left too early last night. If only you’d have stayed another ten minutes, you’d have gotten to enjoy my dazzling saxophone solo. I’m sure my enraptured audience forgot that they were at a party and thought they were in an elevator.

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