“It’s not a proper duck farm if customers can’t ride a roaring bear—a bear that also happens to play the trumpet.” That’s a quote uttered and muttered by my grandpa, and he was mute, so you know it must be true.
Tag: dank meme
I may not be a finger linguist, but it doesn’t take a sign language interpreter to figure out what she said. I just want to know one thing: Are you gonna let her talk about you like that?
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My philosophy on marketing for BearPaw Duck and Meme Farm is I like to think, “What would I do if I were running the company?” Then I remember that I am running the company, and I do that thing.
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It used to be that one dollar a month would feed a starving African child. But thanks to inflation, I guess they are now back to hunting and gathering—you know, the pursuit of kangz.
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When you hear my sales pitch, I want you to pretend you are Babe Ruth. I’ll pretend to be Peyton Manning, the greatest sports broadcaster of all insurance commercial actors.
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I think you are confused. You want to fight the GOAT, the Greatest Of All Time, and not an actual goat. But I’ll bet you could beat the GOAT in a fight, because you have the distinct advantage of not being dead.
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I just invented a way to put the smooth sounds of a saxophone directly into a trumpet—with little or minimal rusting. When you listen to my music, just close your eyes, because your mind is about to take a romantic trip—inside of a mental elevator.
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It’s too bad GIFs are silent, because I recorded some original saxophone music to accompany this masterpiece. It sounds like ducks quacking on the moon, and if you’ve got an empty elevator that needs space to be filled, it’s now FOR SALE.
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The funeral business is the only one with no repeat customers. Though you only die once, why not buy your own funeral from me twice? My Buy One Funeral, Get One FREE deal only applies the second time you purchase a custom Death Party.
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At BearPaw Duck and Meme Farm, we value self-expression—even if that extends to gender. That’s why we sell T-shirts in Men’s, Women’s, and More Expensive. There may be 333 different genders, but we’ll only charge you more money for 331 of them.
