The funeral business is the only one with no repeat customers. Though you only die once, why not buy your own funeral from me twice? My Buy One Funeral, Get One FREE deal only applies the second time you purchase a custom Death Party.

2021/07/16 jarodkintz1Leave a comment

At BearPaw Duck and Meme Farm, we value self-expression—even if that extends to gender. That’s why we sell T-shirts in Men’s, Women’s, and More Expensive. There may be 333 different genders, but we’ll only charge you more money for 331 of them.

2021/07/12 jarodkintz1Leave a comment

You know those orange construction cones they put out on the highway when doing road work? I’d like to serve you ice cream in one of those cones, and I’d like for that ice cream to be duck-soup flavored.

2021/07/11 jarodkintz1Leave a comment

You should be proactive and call BearPaw Duck and Meme Farm BEFORE something breaks on your car. That way we can come out and make sure something needs to get fixed.

2021/07/08 jarodkintz1Leave a comment

I have a pet bicycle, and when I take it for a walk people look at me like I’m crazy. What, have you never seen an “I Voted!” T-shirt before?

2021/07/08 jarodkintz1Leave a comment

At BearPaw Duck and Meme Farm, we recognize that low prices shit on quality. I’m talking about a nasty dump in a mop bucket kind of way, which is why we stay clean of gimmicky deals.

2021/07/05 jarodkintz1Leave a comment

A lollipop is a sucker. So is a flag worshipper. There is no more absurd non-sequitur than celebrating FREEDOM in a country with the highest incarceration rate—and a history of endless warmongering.

2021/07/03 jarodkintz1Leave a comment

Do you often feel lethargic, like you have no energy? Next time, try charging your body through electrocution via lightning bolt. I now make and sell pointy metal hats that are designed to be worn in thunderstorms.

2021/06/28 jarodkintz1Leave a comment

I play the saxophone like a duck quacks. Tickets are ONLY $19.95. Lessons sold separately. No assembly required.

2021/06/27 jarodkintz1Leave a comment

The difference between a karate chop and a handshake extension is the same as the difference between a knife and a paddle. The best way to cut through hot duck soup is with a canoe.

2021/06/22 jarodkintz1Leave a comment

Tag: dank meme

The funeral business is the only one with no repeat customers. Though you only die once, why not buy your own funeral from me twice? My Buy One Funeral, Get One FREE deal only applies the second time you purchase a custom Death Party.

Like this:

At BearPaw Duck and Meme Farm, we value self-expression—even if that extends to gender. That’s why we sell T-shirts in Men’s, Women’s, and More Expensive. There may be 333 different genders, but we’ll only charge you more money for 331 of them.

Like this:

You know those orange construction cones they put out on the highway when doing road work? I’d like to serve you ice cream in one of those cones, and I’d like for that ice cream to be duck-soup flavored.

Like this:

You should be proactive and call BearPaw Duck and Meme Farm BEFORE something breaks on your car. That way we can come out and make sure something needs to get fixed.

Like this:

I have a pet bicycle, and when I take it for a walk people look at me like I’m crazy. What, have you never seen an “I Voted!” T-shirt before?

Like this:

At BearPaw Duck and Meme Farm, we recognize that low prices shit on quality. I’m talking about a nasty dump in a mop bucket kind of way, which is why we stay clean of gimmicky deals.

Like this:

A lollipop is a sucker. So is a flag worshipper. There is no more absurd non-sequitur than celebrating FREEDOM in a country with the highest incarceration rate—and a history of endless warmongering.

Like this:

Do you often feel lethargic, like you have no energy? Next time, try charging your body through electrocution via lightning bolt. I now make and sell pointy metal hats that are designed to be worn in thunderstorms.

Like this:

I play the saxophone like a duck quacks. Tickets are ONLY $19.95. Lessons sold separately. No assembly required.

Like this:

The difference between a karate chop and a handshake extension is the same as the difference between a knife and a paddle. The best way to cut through hot duck soup is with a canoe.

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