Tag: dank meme
Buy One Wheel, Get One FREE. You get TWO unicycles for the price of ONE bicycle. And if you act NOW, I’ll even include Frozen Duck Soup On A Stick for FREE.
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When you act NOW, you also receive a FREE copy of my newest book: “How to put out riot fires with your naked body.” The book itself is burnable, and should altogether be banned by The Government.
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I’m a man of faith, I believe. And it’s that very belief that gives me my faith. For me the two are one, like my sale on Frozen Duck Soup Popsicles: Buy Two For The Price Of One! (Offer not valid for residents of Alaska.)
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While nine out of ten dentists, or 99.9%, recommend my duck-soup-flavored toothpaste, exactly ZERO decided to buy my new math class, “Understanding How Fractions Work—And Can Work To Make You Rich.” The book is ONLY $19.95, and it comes with FREE refills.
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Time is money, and it’s now ON SALE. 60 seconds for 100 pennies. NO Senior Discounts!
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FREE networking tip #13: Instead of offering your hand when meeting someone, extend a rubber duck that squeaks. It’s just a small gesture that says, “I’m here, you’re here, and I really care.”
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I know Romance is dying, and I feel bad that I won’t be able to bring it any homemade Duck Noodle Soup, but at the same time I am happy to be SOLD OUT. Julia Roberts galloped past BearPaw Duck Farm and drank up my entire stash, which was FULL and stored in Branson’s water tower.
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Covering motion stairs with fur does not make a Pet Escalator. Ask me how to convert your retirement nest egg into one giant omelet.
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Ask me about my Tuesday Special. Or don’t, because I’ll just tell you. My SALE runs from Wednesday to Monday, which makes Tuesday special because you pay FULL PRICE!
