People often mistake my extreme athleticism for laziness. They think my cat and I are simply taking a nap, but they don’t realize we are training in the sport known as Cuddling. The only way you get to be World Cuddling Champions is if you train for hours and hours every day.

2020/10/18 jarodkintz1Leave a comment

Don’t just VOTE. Run to your nearest Voting Factory like you’re on a treadmill. I’ll be sitting in a chair with wheels, because my Jaguar is in the shop again—and it’s ON SALE.

2020/10/14 jarodkintz1Leave a comment

A priest and a rabbi walked into a bar, and the bartender said, “Sorry, we don’t serve little boys here.” Then Mitch McConnell walked in and said, “Guys, follow me. I have a few fresh captures locked in my dungeon.”

2020/10/09 jarodkintz1Leave a comment

There are three things you should NEVER FORGET. One: To VOTE. Two: The Holocaust. Three: There is no three. Are you kidding me? 6.66 MILLION Jews died. How could we have room to remember anything else?

2020/10/08 jarodkintz1Leave a comment

Think how great America would be if every sports bar were replaced with Dank Meme Barns, where patrons turn into workhorses making mockery of local politicians. Why shouldn’t exposing criminality be gamified and bolstered by an environment of camaraderie?

2020/09/25 jarodkintz1Leave a comment

Hey, put away your gun. Don’t shoot me. I’m just the messenger. I’m like your friendly neighborhood Post Office Driver, except instead of delivering junk mail, I deal in dank memes.

2020/09/25 jarodkintz1Leave a comment

Hate Speech is anything that globalists deem to be offensive, and since they are Luciferian pedophiles, that always means The Truth. The Truth is what Jerry Jackson is raging against in the name of social progress.

2020/09/21 jarodkintz1Leave a comment

When I was a child, I wanted to be a cowboy. But now that I am grown, I want to be a cowman.

2020/09/20 jarodkintz1Leave a comment

Gravy is my favorite sports drink. Try chugging it the next time you run so far your legs feel like mashed potatoes.

2020/09/18 jarodkintz1Leave a comment

Being the fastest man to run while remaining seated comes with perks. Right now, I have three sponsorship options. Nike, of course, La-Z-Boy, naturally, and the third group that wants to pay me is The National Association of Handicapped Parking Space Painters.

2020/09/17 jarodkintz1Leave a comment

Tag: dank meme

People often mistake my extreme athleticism for laziness. They think my cat and I are simply taking a nap, but they don’t realize we are training in the sport known as Cuddling. The only way you get to be World Cuddling Champions is if you train for hours and hours every day.

Like this:

Don’t just VOTE. Run to your nearest Voting Factory like you’re on a treadmill. I’ll be sitting in a chair with wheels, because my Jaguar is in the shop again—and it’s ON SALE.

Like this:

A priest and a rabbi walked into a bar, and the bartender said, “Sorry, we don’t serve little boys here.” Then Mitch McConnell walked in and said, “Guys, follow me. I have a few fresh captures locked in my dungeon.”

Like this:

There are three things you should NEVER FORGET. One: To VOTE. Two: The Holocaust. Three: There is no three. Are you kidding me? 6.66 MILLION Jews died. How could we have room to remember anything else?

Like this:

Think how great America would be if every sports bar were replaced with Dank Meme Barns, where patrons turn into workhorses making mockery of local politicians. Why shouldn’t exposing criminality be gamified and bolstered by an environment of camaraderie?

Like this:

Hey, put away your gun. Don’t shoot me. I’m just the messenger. I’m like your friendly neighborhood Post Office Driver, except instead of delivering junk mail, I deal in dank memes.

Like this:

When I was a child, I wanted to be a cowboy. But now that I am grown, I want to be a cowman.

Like this:

Gravy is my favorite sports drink. Try chugging it the next time you run so far your legs feel like mashed potatoes.

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