I used to sell chairs, until one day a customer told me that they weren’t dancing equipment. Turns out dancing doesn’t involve sitting in silence alone, and I’d been doing it wrong for years.

2022/08/11 jarodkintz1Leave a comment

When you buy one of my T-shirts, you get a FREE spot of tea. I tried to wash it out, but the spot is now a stain, so if you are thirsty for deals then this is for you.

2021/08/30 jarodkintz1Leave a comment

Life seems meaningless and everyone is lonely. That’s why I recommend dancing by yourself.

2021/08/10 jarodkintz1Leave a comment

My favorite song is With Or Without You. That’s also how I dance.

2021/03/15 jarodkintz1Leave a comment

I love the sound of fall leaves crunching under my feet as I walk on them. But wait, those are potato chips, my football helmet is full of nacho cheese, and this is winter. Shop #BearPawDuckAndMemeFarm for a smorgasbord of assorted tasty ear treats.

2021/02/13 jarodkintz1Leave a comment

The way water sits still in a glass and holds its shape, that’s how I dance. Luckily for you, I am now offering FREE refills.

2021/01/22 jarodkintz1Leave a comment

Dance critics all over the world have called my body moves, “Sculpturesque,” “As full of motion as a Rodin statue,” and “Like watching Helen Keller eat Jell-O with her elbows.” My dancing is so still and silent that it belongs on a shelf in a library, next to other great literature.

2021/01/21 jarodkintz1Leave a comment

The key to dancing is to do it without music. Whoever first paired dancing and music together was an absolute lunatic, and would have been more useful to society if squeezed out of a tube of toothpaste. Nine out of ten dentists agree with me.

2021/01/14 jarodkintz1Leave a comment

Have I ever driven a forklift before? Has The Pope ever read The Bible? The answer is no, but that doesn’t mean I’m not the best man for the job. How do I know I’m the best? Because I bought a trophy that says exactly that and corroborates my claim.

2020/10/29 jarodkintz1Leave a comment

Did you VOTE for this? Because I didn’t VOTE for this. But that’s because I didn’t VOTE. Maybe 2020 will be the year you finally wise up to the farce called VOTING.

2020/09/282020/09/30 jarodkintz1Leave a comment

Tag: dancing

I used to sell chairs, until one day a customer told me that they weren’t dancing equipment. Turns out dancing doesn’t involve sitting in silence alone, and I’d been doing it wrong for years.

Like this:

When you buy one of my T-shirts, you get a FREE spot of tea. I tried to wash it out, but the spot is now a stain, so if you are thirsty for deals then this is for you.

Like this:

Life seems meaningless and everyone is lonely. That’s why I recommend dancing by yourself.

Like this:

My favorite song is With Or Without You. That’s also how I dance.

Like this:

I love the sound of fall leaves crunching under my feet as I walk on them. But wait, those are potato chips, my football helmet is full of nacho cheese, and this is winter. Shop #BearPawDuckAndMemeFarm for a smorgasbord of assorted tasty ear treats.

Like this:

The way water sits still in a glass and holds its shape, that’s how I dance. Luckily for you, I am now offering FREE refills.

Like this:

Dance critics all over the world have called my body moves, “Sculpturesque,” “As full of motion as a Rodin statue,” and “Like watching Helen Keller eat Jell-O with her elbows.” My dancing is so still and silent that it belongs on a shelf in a library, next to other great literature.

Like this:

The key to dancing is to do it without music. Whoever first paired dancing and music together was an absolute lunatic, and would have been more useful to society if squeezed out of a tube of toothpaste. Nine out of ten dentists agree with me.

Like this:

Have I ever driven a forklift before? Has The Pope ever read The Bible? The answer is no, but that doesn’t mean I’m not the best man for the job. How do I know I’m the best? Because I bought a trophy that says exactly that and corroborates my claim.

Like this:

Did you VOTE for this? Because I didn’t VOTE for this. But that’s because I didn’t VOTE. Maybe 2020 will be the year you finally wise up to the farce called VOTING.

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