As I was petting my cat this morning, it hit me that maybe my cat was stillfully rubbing my hand. In this upside-down world of negative interest rates, can you really be sure of anything except the value of duck eggs?

2020/05/032020/05/03 jarodkintz1Leave a comment

giphy-10

I’m now selling Duck-Soup Popsicles in vintage meatloaf colors. The flavor of 1991 has never looked so good while camping. Just ask Bigfoot.

2020/05/012020/05/01 jarodkintz1Leave a comment

giphy-6

I may dance like two-thirds of the bottom half of a piano, but that doesn’t mean you can buy my Romantic Moves. However, they are FOR RENT at Truck Stop Diner Prices.

2020/03/292020/03/29 jarodkintz1Leave a comment

I admire your dancing moves, and I’d love to bottle them up and sell them as windshield wiper fluid. I only wish they came in Rain Water Flavor.

2020/03/032020/03/03 jarodkintz1Leave a comment

giphy-2

What I love most about power is that it’s so powerless it can be overcome and overthrown through voting. If we all just turn in enough slips of paper, they will turn over all their guns and stop their violence.

2020/02/29 jarodkintz1Leave a comment

giphy-34

I should combine a car bumper with a belt, for a fashion accessory that’s safe for office romances. (Powdered love poetry and water sold separately.)

2020/02/282020/02/28 jarodkintz1Leave a comment

giphy-33

I’m a modest guy. In fact, in the history of the world, there’s never been anybody more modest than me. I am The World’s Most Modest Man. My modesty is so legendary that I’m thinking of buying myself a custom-made trophy to celebrate and memorialize it.

2020/02/23 jarodkintz1Leave a comment

giphy-23

When making soap, the most important ingredient I include is Time. What you smell now is not what you smelled then, or what you’ll smell later, and those small fluctuations, those tiny discrepancies, are the spaces occupied by nostalgia, as the mind works to fill in the gaps.

2020/02/232020/02/23 jarodkintz1Leave a comment

giphy-11

The waves danced across Lake Taneycomo like liquid ballerinas, and they paused their performance to pass me a soggy scroll that had this scrawled, “Tourists will trade their livelihoods to be entertained.” So I turned off the blaring pirouette music and let them rest their feet.

2020/01/202020/01/20 jarodkintz1Leave a comment

giphy-18

If I close my eyes I can still hear the piano music, and if I stop my fingers from dancing, then the sound dissipates and disappears. This elevator just won’t be the same without her.

2019/11/062019/11/06 jarodkintz1Leave a comment

giphy-4

Tag: dancer

As I was petting my cat this morning, it hit me that maybe my cat was stillfully rubbing my hand. In this upside-down world of negative interest rates, can you really be sure of anything except the value of duck eggs?

Like this:

I’m now selling Duck-Soup Popsicles in vintage meatloaf colors. The flavor of 1991 has never looked so good while camping. Just ask Bigfoot.

Like this:

I may dance like two-thirds of the bottom half of a piano, but that doesn’t mean you can buy my Romantic Moves. However, they are FOR RENT at Truck Stop Diner Prices.

Like this:

I admire your dancing moves, and I’d love to bottle them up and sell them as windshield wiper fluid. I only wish they came in Rain Water Flavor.

Like this:

What I love most about power is that it’s so powerless it can be overcome and overthrown through voting. If we all just turn in enough slips of paper, they will turn over all their guns and stop their violence.

Like this:

I should combine a car bumper with a belt, for a fashion accessory that’s safe for office romances. (Powdered love poetry and water sold separately.)

Like this:

I’m a modest guy. In fact, in the history of the world, there’s never been anybody more modest than me. I am The World’s Most Modest Man. My modesty is so legendary that I’m thinking of buying myself a custom-made trophy to celebrate and memorialize it.

Like this:

When making soap, the most important ingredient I include is Time. What you smell now is not what you smelled then, or what you’ll smell later, and those small fluctuations, those tiny discrepancies, are the spaces occupied by nostalgia, as the mind works to fill in the gaps.

Like this:

The waves danced across Lake Taneycomo like liquid ballerinas, and they paused their performance to pass me a soggy scroll that had this scrawled, “Tourists will trade their livelihoods to be entertained.” So I turned off the blaring pirouette music and let them rest their feet.

Like this:

If I close my eyes I can still hear the piano music, and if I stop my fingers from dancing, then the sound dissipates and disappears. This elevator just won’t be the same without her.

Like this:

Share this:

Like this:

Share this:

Like this:

Share this:

Like this:

Share this:

Like this:

Share this:

Like this:

Share this:

Like this:

Share this:

Like this:

Share this:

Like this:

Share this:

Like this:

Share this:

Like this:

Share this:

Like this:

Share this:

Like this:

Share this:

Like this:

Share this:

Like this:

Share this:

Like this:

Share this:

Like this:

Share this:

Like this:

Share this:

Like this:

Share this:

Like this:

Share this:

Like this: