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Tag: cute

I have a pet bicycle, and when I take it for a walk people look at me like I’m crazy. What, have you never seen an “I Voted!” T-shirt before?

2021/07/08 jarodkintz1Leave a comment

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Little children are geniuses at contorting their faces. Perhaps Jim Carrey could have been even more expressive if instead of practicing in a mirror, he’d just watched kids use body language to say what their limited vocabulary prohibits them from saying.

2021/05/24 jarodkintz1Leave a comment

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I make BearPaw Duck and Meme Farm’s World Famous SwimmingBird Soup out of four ingredients: Duckling, water, swimming, and Liquified Michael Phelps Motivational Quotes. It’s the last one that gives it that golden flavor.

2021/05/09 jarodkintz1Leave a comment

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BearPaw Duck & Meme Farm will be getting a Mouser Cat tomorrow. I posted a No Trespassing sign, but the field mice just refused to keep out of Quackster Castle. So, tomorrow they will meet a mighty hunter of their nightmares.

2021/02/12 jarodkintz1Leave a comment

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My ducks are ON SALE at Buy Four, Get TWO prices. (Limit three per purchase.)

2020/12/17 jarodkintz1Leave a comment

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Cats are masters at washing with just wetness, so the look of surprise at being able to soap himself clean with April in The Ozarks is The Mount Everest of excitement.

2020/01/202020/01/20 jarodkintz1Leave a comment

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What do you think is The Sweetness’ favorite song?

2018/07/02 jarodkintz1Leave a comment

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Rent one cat in a bag, get FREE snuggles. The bag is available to rent per hour, per day, or perhaps for life. But hurry, because supplies are limited. First come, first serve, as I only have ONE left IN STOCK.

2018/06/07 jarodkintz1Leave a comment

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Sales is hard work, trying to convince people to willingly exchange their money for a good or service. Oh, if only go around trading the threat of violence for real fake money, like the government does, I’d be so rich I wouldn’t care if I were universally despised.

2018/03/04 jarodkintz1Leave a comment

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If all we have in this world is love, then we have everything we need, and we have everything everyone wants.

2017/12/15 jarodkintz1Leave a comment

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My Tweets

Recent Posts

  • Here’s an idea: You blame me and I’ll blame you. Then we can both join Howard Jones in singing, “No one is to blame.”
  • Everyone is getting crazier. And poorer. Which is making everyone even crazier.
  • I once wrote a 100,000-word book. But don’t worry, I managed to edit it down to just over one million words.
  • A hundred dollars used to have value. Now it has grown fat and worthless. Or has it grown so skinny as to be useless?
  • If I were the world’s richest man, I’d present myself as the world’s poorest, because I’d want people to want me for me. In fact, I’m so poor I want to be Guinness verified as The World’s Poorest—and I’m even willing to pay for the title (a bribe).
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