Consumers tell me, “Jarod, BearPaw Duck Farm has the longest wait times to reach a customer service representative.” I always reply, “The unsatisfactory products you have to purchase, but the lesson in patience you get for FREE.”

2020/12/27 jarodkintz1Leave a comment

In this consumer society full of paternal neglect, is the Number One Dad FOR SALE? The answer is yes. The title itself is FOR SALE, and the owner of that title, me, is also FOR SALE. Buy six days, get the seventh FREE.

2020/10/29 jarodkintz1Leave a comment

The Chamber of Commerce is a relic of the 1890s, like Oscar Wilde, only not timeless. They’re also not timeful. They’re like a broken watch that everyone keeps looking at, but doesn’t actually do anything but cost money.

2020/06/122020/06/12 jarodkintz1Leave a comment

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The only voting I do is with my wallet. When I buy This, I’m voting against That and vice reversa. That’s the only real political power we have.

2020/02/232020/02/23 jarodkintz1Leave a comment

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You can offer FREE swag, FREE food, and FREE entertainment, but if people have no money, then they’re not going to buy anything from you. And is that the failure of experiential retail—or The Banksters who have debased our currency and impoverished us all?

2019/08/112019/08/11 jarodkintz1Leave a comment

By shopping on Amazon, you may save money today, but you’ll pay for it in the future. By not buying local, your discounted purchase comes at the cost of Mom and Pop Shops struggling to survive, and when they are all gone, so is your town.

2019/01/292019/01/29 jarodkintz1Leave a comment

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I was talking to a man the other day who was telling me stories from his past, and I was sad, because all of his memories were scenes from sitcoms he’d seen on TV. Then I sold him a box of tissues, and then convinced him to let me use them all, since he did make me cry.

2019/01/222019/01/22 jarodkintz1Leave a comment

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When McDonald’s brags about serving billions and billions of people, I get disgusted, because that kind of cannibalism shouldn’t be a selling point for customers to continue paying for the opportunity to eat people.

2018/12/282018/12/28 jarodkintz1Leave a comment

Making money was so much easier when you could just point a six-shooter at a man, take his cash, and ride away on a horse. But we can’t live in the past. Last week is long gone—and so is my horse.

2018/04/16 jarodkintz1Leave a comment

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Two ducks walked into a bar. So stupid! They must have been CNN viewers, because they should have lived up to their name and ducked. Thankfully when they hit their heads, they didn’t damage their brains—because only because they had no brains to begin with.

2018/03/06 jarodkintz1Leave a comment

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Tag: consumer

Consumers tell me, “Jarod, BearPaw Duck Farm has the longest wait times to reach a customer service representative.” I always reply, “The unsatisfactory products you have to purchase, but the lesson in patience you get for FREE.”

Like this:

In this consumer society full of paternal neglect, is the Number One Dad FOR SALE? The answer is yes. The title itself is FOR SALE, and the owner of that title, me, is also FOR SALE. Buy six days, get the seventh FREE.

Like this:

The Chamber of Commerce is a relic of the 1890s, like Oscar Wilde, only not timeless. They’re also not timeful. They’re like a broken watch that everyone keeps looking at, but doesn’t actually do anything but cost money.

Like this:

The only voting I do is with my wallet. When I buy This, I’m voting against That and vice reversa. That’s the only real political power we have.

Like this:

You can offer FREE swag, FREE food, and FREE entertainment, but if people have no money, then they’re not going to buy anything from you. And is that the failure of experiential retail—or The Banksters who have debased our currency and impoverished us all?

Like this:

By shopping on Amazon, you may save money today, but you’ll pay for it in the future. By not buying local, your discounted purchase comes at the cost of Mom and Pop Shops struggling to survive, and when they are all gone, so is your town.

Like this:

I was talking to a man the other day who was telling me stories from his past, and I was sad, because all of his memories were scenes from sitcoms he’d seen on TV. Then I sold him a box of tissues, and then convinced him to let me use them all, since he did make me cry.

Like this:

When McDonald’s brags about serving billions and billions of people, I get disgusted, because that kind of cannibalism shouldn’t be a selling point for customers to continue paying for the opportunity to eat people.

Like this:

Making money was so much easier when you could just point a six-shooter at a man, take his cash, and ride away on a horse. But we can’t live in the past. Last week is long gone—and so is my horse.

Like this:

Two ducks walked into a bar. So stupid! They must have been CNN viewers, because they should have lived up to their name and ducked. Thankfully when they hit their heads, they didn’t damage their brains—because only because they had no brains to begin with.

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