I like winning almost as much as I like not losing. That’s why I shop at The Trophy Store, because for ONLY $19.95, I can be the best at anything in the world—and I don’t even have to practice or compete.
Tag: compete
I used to give swimming lessons to dolphins, and I can tell you that this mammal has the aquatic talent of tumbleweed in the desert. I also once raced Michael Phelps and won. Not THE Michael Phelps, but A Michael Phelps, though I still think it’s a trophy-worthy accomplishment.
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My favorite color is Teddy Bear, and perhaps the fact that I wear this exact tuxedo when I compete is why I am the undefeated and undisputed World Cuddling Champion. Actually, there was once a minor dispute, but that issue got resolved with a mere $20 bribe.
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