I could go to Starbucks, but why buy what homeless people excrete on the streets of San Francisco for FREE?

2019/03/162019/03/16 jarodkintz1Leave a comment

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My offer of FREE coffee cupcake refills applies to everyone except Wendell, who’s a java camel.

2019/03/062019/03/06 jarodkintz1Leave a comment

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I spoke with the world’s leading heart specialist, Dr. Corazonamor, and he told me that no blood flows through my Love Pump, but that my body’s circulatory system is pulsing entirely with coffee.

2019/03/022019/03/02 jarodkintz1Leave a comment

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You can afford to sell at 50% off when you have a whole warehouse full of the stuff, like I do.

2019/02/192019/02/19 jarodkintz1Leave a comment

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My coffee is now ON SALE at 5 for $10 plus $89.75, for a total of $19.95 EACH. Incredible! Not only is it expensive, but it’s awful, like Starbucks.

2019/02/082019/02/08 jarodkintz1Leave a comment

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I drink coffee like a thirsty desert camel, and if you’d like a piggyback ride across The Sahara, you’d better fuel me up with excess java.

2019/01/312019/01/31 jarodkintz1Leave a comment

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The best way to wake up a small town to the idea of shopping local is with a coffee house. This coffee house is so cozy it’s more of a coffee home.

2019/01/252019/01/25 jarodkintz1Leave a comment

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For a limited time, I’m offering everything FOR SALE – and some of it is even mine. If Wendell asks where his coffee went, tell him it went for a walk. (Oh, that reminds me: I also sell an exotic pet sauntering service, so your Cuddle Fluid of choice gets its exercise.)

2019/01/232019/01/23 jarodkintz1Leave a comment

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I sell Sex Appeal In A Cup in small, medium, and large sizes. The cups are identical in volume, and the refills are FREE, but they’ll make your lover thirst for you like coffee.

2019/01/072019/01/07 jarodkintz1Leave a comment

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Actually, I do have other love making sizes to offer besides extra large, but they’re all boxed up in The Warehouse, and probably covered in cobwebs. But because you’re a valued customer, I’ll dust off the extra small to better serve you.

2018/11/272018/11/27 jarodkintz1Leave a comment

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Tag: coffee

I could go to Starbucks, but why buy what homeless people excrete on the streets of San Francisco for FREE?

Like this:

My offer of FREE coffee cupcake refills applies to everyone except Wendell, who’s a java camel.

Like this:

I spoke with the world’s leading heart specialist, Dr. Corazonamor, and he told me that no blood flows through my Love Pump, but that my body’s circulatory system is pulsing entirely with coffee.

Like this:

You can afford to sell at 50% off when you have a whole warehouse full of the stuff, like I do.

Like this:

My coffee is now ON SALE at 5 for $10 plus $89.75, for a total of $19.95 EACH. Incredible! Not only is it expensive, but it’s awful, like Starbucks.

Like this:

I drink coffee like a thirsty desert camel, and if you’d like a piggyback ride across The Sahara, you’d better fuel me up with excess java.

Like this:

The best way to wake up a small town to the idea of shopping local is with a coffee house. This coffee house is so cozy it’s more of a coffee home.

Like this:

For a limited time, I’m offering everything FOR SALE – and some of it is even mine. If Wendell asks where his coffee went, tell him it went for a walk. (Oh, that reminds me: I also sell an exotic pet sauntering service, so your Cuddle Fluid of choice gets its exercise.)

Like this:

I sell Sex Appeal In A Cup in small, medium, and large sizes. The cups are identical in volume, and the refills are FREE, but they’ll make your lover thirst for you like coffee.

Like this:

Actually, I do have other love making sizes to offer besides extra large, but they’re all boxed up in The Warehouse, and probably covered in cobwebs. But because you’re a valued customer, I’ll dust off the extra small to better serve you.

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