Even if I had both my knees replaced with two Rubik’s cubes, I’d still make coffee runs to Neighbor’s Mill. The only puzzle to me is how anybody would ever choose a donut from Dunkin’ over one from Dad’s.

2021/03/28 jarodkintz1Leave a comment

I think our town’s Chamber of Commerce needs to drink more coffee. Maybe then they’d WAKE UP to the idiocy of courting and promoting chain retail stores over local mom and pop shops.

2021/03/11 jarodkintz1Leave a comment

If you thought #Bitcoin was a good investment back in early 2016, wait until you see what #BearPawDuckAndMemeFarm is selling. We’ve got eggs! Oh, and T-shirts! Buy one—for every day of the year!

2021/02/23 jarodkintz1Leave a comment

Did I say BearPaw Duck Farm was now offering FREE refills on coffee? I meant SwimmingBird Soup. Still, if you have a Helen Keller palate and an opaque thermos, it’s just as jolting.

2020/12/22 jarodkintz1Leave a comment

When you arrive at BearPaw Duck Farm, ask for Natalie. Natalie doesn’t work here, and nobody here knows anybody named Natalie, but that doesn’t mean you shouldn’t ask for her. We have a cozy lobby where you can wait for her, with comfy wooden benches and cold coffee to drink.

2020/12/08 jarodkintz1Leave a comment

I’m no dating expert, but if you meet a woman with one eye and a pyramid for a head, it’s best not to sleep with her, because you might be asleep for forever, like VOTERS. Swipe right for change!

2020/10/29 jarodkintz1Leave a comment

I make love like I make coffee. Actually, Jo made it for me today, twice, which is why it was so good, and why it costs me two bucks. But at least she gave me FREE refills. For a good time, visit Precision Coffee.

2020/09/13 jarodkintz1Leave a comment

When you act NOW, you also receive a FREE copy of my newest book: “How to put out riot fires with your naked body.” The book itself is burnable, and should altogether be banned by The Government.

2020/06/122020/06/12 jarodkintz1Leave a comment

giphy-10

Time is money, and it’s now ON SALE. 60 seconds for 100 pennies. NO Senior Discounts!

2020/05/232020/05/23 jarodkintz1Leave a comment

giphy-43

Flamingos are pink giraffe ducks. That’s not just a fact—it’s also the promo code for your FREE tour of BearPaw Albino Horseneck Flamingo Farm.

2020/05/092020/05/09 jarodkintz1Leave a comment

giphy-22

Tag: coffee

Even if I had both my knees replaced with two Rubik’s cubes, I’d still make coffee runs to Neighbor’s Mill. The only puzzle to me is how anybody would ever choose a donut from Dunkin’ over one from Dad’s.

Like this:

I think our town’s Chamber of Commerce needs to drink more coffee. Maybe then they’d WAKE UP to the idiocy of courting and promoting chain retail stores over local mom and pop shops.

Like this:

If you thought #Bitcoin was a good investment back in early 2016, wait until you see what #BearPawDuckAndMemeFarm is selling. We’ve got eggs! Oh, and T-shirts! Buy one—for every day of the year!

Like this:

Did I say BearPaw Duck Farm was now offering FREE refills on coffee? I meant SwimmingBird Soup. Still, if you have a Helen Keller palate and an opaque thermos, it’s just as jolting.

Like this:

When you arrive at BearPaw Duck Farm, ask for Natalie. Natalie doesn’t work here, and nobody here knows anybody named Natalie, but that doesn’t mean you shouldn’t ask for her. We have a cozy lobby where you can wait for her, with comfy wooden benches and cold coffee to drink.

Like this:

I’m no dating expert, but if you meet a woman with one eye and a pyramid for a head, it’s best not to sleep with her, because you might be asleep for forever, like VOTERS. Swipe right for change!

Like this:

I make love like I make coffee. Actually, Jo made it for me today, twice, which is why it was so good, and why it costs me two bucks. But at least she gave me FREE refills. For a good time, visit Precision Coffee.

Like this:

When you act NOW, you also receive a FREE copy of my newest book: “How to put out riot fires with your naked body.” The book itself is burnable, and should altogether be banned by The Government.

Like this:

Time is money, and it’s now ON SALE. 60 seconds for 100 pennies. NO Senior Discounts!

Like this:

Share this:

Like this:

Share this:

Like this:

Share this:

Like this:

Share this:

Like this:

Share this:

Like this:

Share this:

Like this:

Share this:

Like this:

Share this:

Like this:

Share this:

Like this:

Share this:

Like this:

Share this:

Like this:

Share this:

Like this:

Share this:

Like this:

Share this:

Like this:

Share this:

Like this:

Share this:

Like this:

Share this:

Like this:

Share this:

Like this:

Share this:

Like this:

Share this:

Like this: