Did I say BearPaw Duck Farm was now offering FREE refills on coffee? I meant SwimmingBird Soup. Still, if you have a Helen Keller palate and an opaque thermos, it’s just as jolting.
Tag: coffee
When you arrive at BearPaw Duck Farm, ask for Natalie. Natalie doesn’t work here, and nobody here knows anybody named Natalie, but that doesn’t mean you shouldn’t ask for her. We have a cozy lobby where you can wait for her, with comfy wooden benches and cold coffee to drink.
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I’m no dating expert, but if you meet a woman with one eye and a pyramid for a head, it’s best not to sleep with her, because you might be asleep for forever, like VOTERS. Swipe right for change!
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I make love like I make coffee. Actually, Jo made it for me today, twice, which is why it was so good, and why it costs me two bucks. But at least she gave me FREE refills. For a good time, visit Precision Coffee.
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When you act NOW, you also receive a FREE copy of my newest book: “How to put out riot fires with your naked body.” The book itself is burnable, and should altogether be banned by The Government.
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Time is money, and it’s now ON SALE. 60 seconds for 100 pennies. NO Senior Discounts!
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Flamingos are pink giraffe ducks. That’s not just a fact—it’s also the promo code for your FREE tour of BearPaw Albino Horseneck Flamingo Farm.
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My new coffee is now 1980s flavored. It was inspired by Branson, Missouri’s love obsession with the year 1991, combined with the letter Q. You can’t say you get no respect, because you get FREE refills right up to 1990.
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For you, the buyer, the best part about FREE refills is the price. Now ONLY $19.95! (Plus shipping and fondling.)
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Today is the one that introduces Yesterday to Tomorrow. If it weren’t for Today, Nostalgia would never meet Hope.
