Tag: cnn
My Waterfall Lollipops are 100% REAL fake, just like CNN is 100% FAKE real. The fish-piss taste in my Waterfall Lollipops lasts 24 hours a day, 365 days a year, with intermittent Brita-Water-Filter-Commercial-Break-Flavored freshness.
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Since CNN provides #FakeNews 24 hours a day, 365 days a year, I like to think of it as Kool-Aid with FREE refills.
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The key to keeping your pet waterfall happy is feeding it Kool-Aid, and if you don’t want to turn your pet waterfall all red, as if it’s in a continual state of blushing, I recommend using the transparent flavor of Kool-Aid called CNN.
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Who’s more trustworthy, NASA, CNN, or Disney? All sell fantasy, but I wouldn’t let Disney babysit my kids—especially if there were a global shortage of #adrenochrome.
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If #FakeNews is nonsense, then the best reply is a non sequitur. Just because they tell 10% of the truth, doesn’t mean they’re not 100% bullshit. I could just ignore them, but then they’d be ignorant to my true disgust for them, and where’s the fun in that?
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I should write a book called “The Art of Trolling.” Of course, if trolling is an art, then #FakeNews is the paint that gives it vibrancy and adds vividness to the colors.
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I dance like #FakeNews is healthy, and right now I’m offering lessons at CNN prices. If you sign up as a Lifetime Member, I’ll probably even give you a heart attack, and I call that kind of bulk deal The McDonald’s Special.
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I keep trying to give away FREE samples of what I think is a great product for CNN, bottles of my urine, but I don’t know what it takes to make a sale. But that’s OK, because CNN doesn’t know how to make me believe them, so they keep selling make-believe, as if that’ll work.
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There is a sliding scale of OK, and CNN can only aspire to be a continually fluctuating example of mediocrity.
