She makes my heart flutter like a butterfly, when before it was still like a rose, and so in return I bought her the most romantic gift ever: A used dishwasher. I would have bought her a new one, but babies splash around too much in the sink.

2020/12/18 jarodkintz1Leave a comment

My favorite bird is Thanksgiving, and I eat it once a year twice, to celebrate being able to celebrate. I take absurdity very seriously, and I suggest you $19.95 while you can still afford it or before it melts into Leftover Meatloaf.

2019/10/162019/10/16 jarodkintz1Leave a comment

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The best part about living in The Ozarks is I’m not living anywhere else. This will be especially true when everywhere else gets destroyed, and I’m safe and alone, except for the elites who also saw The CIA map showing Florida getting flooded, along with most of The US.

2019/10/162019/10/16 jarodkintz1Leave a comment

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Every morning I give thanks for not only being alive, but for having my life. Can you imagine how terrible life would be if I were you?

2019/08/262019/08/26 jarodkintz1Leave a comment

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If you thought bull riding was dangerous, you should try straddling a bucking cloud. I’ve never attempted something so crazy, because not only am I afraid of heights, but I’m also terrified of floating condensed water vapor.

2019/03/032019/03/03 jarodkintz1Leave a comment

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Love is everywhere, but love isn’t everywhere evenly. There is more love in The Ozarks than anywhere else, because that’s where I am.

2018/08/172018/08/17 jarodkintz1Leave a comment

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Romance is like billowy smoke that rolls by in the breeze, never to tumble on the wind the same way again, and no matter how much you want to recapture its signature essence, once it floats by it’s gone forever.

2018/08/122018/08/12 jarodkintz1Leave a comment

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I am a Farmer of Romance, and I am trying to grow in love. Of all the things to grow, in love is the most profitable.

2018/07/07 jarodkintz1Leave a comment

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I once saw two old men about to get into a fistfight on the street, and I had to physically get in between them to stop them, because the crowd had just gathered and nobody had been able to place any bets yet.

2018/03/24 jarodkintz1Leave a comment

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Tag: clouds

She makes my heart flutter like a butterfly, when before it was still like a rose, and so in return I bought her the most romantic gift ever: A used dishwasher. I would have bought her a new one, but babies splash around too much in the sink.

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My favorite bird is Thanksgiving, and I eat it once a year twice, to celebrate being able to celebrate. I take absurdity very seriously, and I suggest you $19.95 while you can still afford it or before it melts into Leftover Meatloaf.

Like this:

The best part about living in The Ozarks is I’m not living anywhere else. This will be especially true when everywhere else gets destroyed, and I’m safe and alone, except for the elites who also saw The CIA map showing Florida getting flooded, along with most of The US.

Like this:

Every morning I give thanks for not only being alive, but for having my life. Can you imagine how terrible life would be if I were you?

Like this:

Love is everywhere, but love isn’t everywhere evenly. There is more love in The Ozarks than anywhere else, because that’s where I am.

Like this:

I once saw two old men about to get into a fistfight on the street, and I had to physically get in between them to stop them, because the crowd had just gathered and nobody had been able to place any bets yet.

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