Some people are beautiful on the outside and ugly on the inside, and some people are ugly on the outside and beautiful on the inside. I am like those people, and if you were to see who I am on the inside, you’d say, “Wow, you’re really jiggly!” Skin, it’s holding me back in life.

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I know you’re probably thinking, “You may have just solved the greatest problem facing humanity with your Whistling As A Service idea, but how will you scale up as a business?” That’s easy! I’ll be cloning myself into Unicorn Status and my other selves will be working for FREE.

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This GIF looks like a guy hiring his own clone, which is smart, because you can’t do everything, and so you must delegate, and if you are too busy to do something, who better to do it than you? Of course, you’ll probably get murdered by your clone, and he’ll just take your job.

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When I go jogging at night, and it’s pitch black, my shadow always takes the opportunity to run off and go grab a beer, because he thinks his actions are camouflaged and invisible to me. But when he gets fat and no longer mirrors my body, he’ll bring shame to The Shadow Community.

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