The NFL product is so good it belongs in a can. It would be like Campbell’s vegetable soup, only chunkier.
Tag: chief meme officer
I used to sell chairs, until one day a customer told me that they weren’t dancing equipment. Turns out dancing doesn’t involve sitting in silence alone, and I’d been doing it wrong for years.
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Well, what are you waiting for? Grab a shovel and start digging your way out of the hole you’ve worked yourself into.
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If you like java, furniture, and literature, then you’ll love coffee table books. Why don’t you try mine? It comes with FREE refills.
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A mutual fund manager will charge you 1.5% for the service of losing all your wealth. That’s foolish, because if your strategy is to lose all your money, I’ll do it for you for ONLY 1.49%.
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The only basketball player I’ve ever liked is Larry Bird. To me, the only way Larry Bird could be better is if he were Larry Duck.
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This song will be playing at all the hottest clubs from South Beach to Ibiza, and it will come to define Summer 2022. Babies will be made to this song.
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McDonald’s makes my grandma’s leftover meatloaf look fresh. She died in 1999.
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If I wrote a dictionary, would you read it? What if I made it flow like a Nicholas Sparks romance novel?
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If you are what you eat, then this morning I am nothing. But at least I’m awake, because I’m drinking coffee and I don’t watch mainstream news.
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