I make BearPaw Duck and Meme Farm’s World Famous SwimmingBird Soup out of four ingredients: Duckling, water, swimming, and Liquified Michael Phelps Motivational Quotes. It’s the last one that gives it that golden flavor.

2021/05/09 jarodkintz1Leave a comment

Branson Frontier Adventures has an Ejection Seat. I haven’t tried it, but Mother’s Day is coming up, and it sounds like the perfect gift for every mother-in-law.

2021/05/05 jarodkintz1Leave a comment

I serve my soup in football helmets, and I season it with Chronic Traumatic Encephalopathy. Every spoonful tastes like the first spoonful, because you won’t remember. But the recipe is rigged, and not organic. It’s a formula based on gematria.

2021/05/05 jarodkintz1Leave a comment

What has wings, but cannot fly, and legs, but cannot walk? A Pekin duck!

2021/05/04 jarodkintz1Leave a comment

Let’s meet for coffee and talk about how we’re going to take over the world, and then when the coffee wears off let’s talk about taking a nap.

2021/04/27 jarodkintz1Leave a comment

To help my ducks improve their swimming ability, I remixed Mozart with whale sounds, and I pulse the music through their SplashTub. If you’d like to see and hear the performance, tickets are ten bucks a person, or five bucks per half-person.

2021/04/27 jarodkintz1Leave a comment

I have the rarest of all sportsball cards. I have a one-of-one misprint. It’s supposed to be John Gochnaur, but the picture and name say Babe Ruth, whoever that is. It’s also autographed Tom Brady, and you know it’s authentic because I signed it myself. Now FOR SALE in Dogecoin.

2021/04/22 jarodkintz1Leave a comment

At BearPaw Duck and Meme Farm, we believe the only thing that separates meatloaf from birthday cake is candles. Since they both have the same great flavor, why don’t you buy a slab for your next celebration?

2021/03/23 jarodkintz1Leave a comment

I think our town’s Chamber of Commerce needs to drink more coffee. Maybe then they’d WAKE UP to the idiocy of courting and promoting chain retail stores over local mom and pop shops.

2021/03/11 jarodkintz1Leave a comment

After you become your own Netflix, why don’t you try becoming your own Central Bank? But be sure to not make the mistake of getting assassinated.

2021/03/11 jarodkintz1Leave a comment

Tag: chief meme officer

I make BearPaw Duck and Meme Farm’s World Famous SwimmingBird Soup out of four ingredients: Duckling, water, swimming, and Liquified Michael Phelps Motivational Quotes. It’s the last one that gives it that golden flavor.

Like this:

Branson Frontier Adventures has an Ejection Seat. I haven’t tried it, but Mother’s Day is coming up, and it sounds like the perfect gift for every mother-in-law.

Like this:

I serve my soup in football helmets, and I season it with Chronic Traumatic Encephalopathy. Every spoonful tastes like the first spoonful, because you won’t remember. But the recipe is rigged, and not organic. It’s a formula based on gematria.

Like this:

What has wings, but cannot fly, and legs, but cannot walk? A Pekin duck!

Like this:

Let’s meet for coffee and talk about how we’re going to take over the world, and then when the coffee wears off let’s talk about taking a nap.

Like this:

To help my ducks improve their swimming ability, I remixed Mozart with whale sounds, and I pulse the music through their SplashTub. If you’d like to see and hear the performance, tickets are ten bucks a person, or five bucks per half-person.

Like this:

I have the rarest of all sportsball cards. I have a one-of-one misprint. It’s supposed to be John Gochnaur, but the picture and name say Babe Ruth, whoever that is. It’s also autographed Tom Brady, and you know it’s authentic because I signed it myself. Now FOR SALE in Dogecoin.

Like this:

At BearPaw Duck and Meme Farm, we believe the only thing that separates meatloaf from birthday cake is candles. Since they both have the same great flavor, why don’t you buy a slab for your next celebration?

Like this:

I think our town’s Chamber of Commerce needs to drink more coffee. Maybe then they’d WAKE UP to the idiocy of courting and promoting chain retail stores over local mom and pop shops.

Like this:

After you become your own Netflix, why don’t you try becoming your own Central Bank? But be sure to not make the mistake of getting assassinated.

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