“It’s not a proper duck farm if customers can’t ride a roaring bear—a bear that also happens to play the trumpet.” That’s a quote uttered and muttered by my grandpa, and he was mute, so you know it must be true.

2021/10/22 jarodkintz1Leave a comment

The pictures I post on my Google Reviews have received 1,009,277 views. That makes me tremendously proud, because my mom was ONLY 1,009,276 of those.

2021/10/12 jarodkintz1Leave a comment

I may not be a finger linguist, but it doesn’t take a sign language interpreter to figure out what she said. I just want to know one thing: Are you gonna let her talk about you like that?

2021/10/05 jarodkintz1Leave a comment

Why should you listen to me about business? Do I know how to make a dollar? Yes. Do I know how to make two dollars? Well, no. Not unless I get my hands on a Federal Reserve Fake Money Printer.

2021/10/04 jarodkintz1Leave a comment

If he’s shorthanded, I guess he’s not a pianist. Well, neither am I, but that doesn’t stop me from trying to book myself performances at birthday parties, weddings, and elevator rides.

2021/10/04 jarodkintz1Leave a comment

My philosophy on marketing for BearPaw Duck and Meme Farm is I like to think, “What would I do if I were running the company?” Then I remember that I am running the company, and I do that thing.

2021/10/03 jarodkintz1Leave a comment

It used to be that one dollar a month would feed a starving African child. But thanks to inflation, I guess they are now back to hunting and gathering—you know, the pursuit of kangz.

2021/10/022021/10/02 jarodkintz1Leave a comment

When you hear my sales pitch, I want you to pretend you are Babe Ruth. I’ll pretend to be Peyton Manning, the greatest sports broadcaster of all insurance commercial actors.

2021/09/26 jarodkintz1Leave a comment

I think you are confused. You want to fight the GOAT, the Greatest Of All Time, and not an actual goat. But I’ll bet you could beat the GOAT in a fight, because you have the distinct advantage of not being dead.

2021/09/21 jarodkintz1Leave a comment

I just invented a way to put the smooth sounds of a saxophone directly into a trumpet—with little or minimal rusting. When you listen to my music, just close your eyes, because your mind is about to take a romantic trip—inside of a mental elevator.

2021/09/20 jarodkintz1Leave a comment

Tag: chief meme officer

“It’s not a proper duck farm if customers can’t ride a roaring bear—a bear that also happens to play the trumpet.” That’s a quote uttered and muttered by my grandpa, and he was mute, so you know it must be true.

Like this:

The pictures I post on my Google Reviews have received 1,009,277 views. That makes me tremendously proud, because my mom was ONLY 1,009,276 of those.

Like this:

I may not be a finger linguist, but it doesn’t take a sign language interpreter to figure out what she said. I just want to know one thing: Are you gonna let her talk about you like that?

Like this:

Why should you listen to me about business? Do I know how to make a dollar? Yes. Do I know how to make two dollars? Well, no. Not unless I get my hands on a Federal Reserve Fake Money Printer.

Like this:

If he’s shorthanded, I guess he’s not a pianist. Well, neither am I, but that doesn’t stop me from trying to book myself performances at birthday parties, weddings, and elevator rides.

Like this:

My philosophy on marketing for BearPaw Duck and Meme Farm is I like to think, “What would I do if I were running the company?” Then I remember that I am running the company, and I do that thing.

Like this:

It used to be that one dollar a month would feed a starving African child. But thanks to inflation, I guess they are now back to hunting and gathering—you know, the pursuit of kangz.

Like this:

When you hear my sales pitch, I want you to pretend you are Babe Ruth. I’ll pretend to be Peyton Manning, the greatest sports broadcaster of all insurance commercial actors.

Like this:

I think you are confused. You want to fight the GOAT, the Greatest Of All Time, and not an actual goat. But I’ll bet you could beat the GOAT in a fight, because you have the distinct advantage of not being dead.

Like this:

I just invented a way to put the smooth sounds of a saxophone directly into a trumpet—with little or minimal rusting. When you listen to my music, just close your eyes, because your mind is about to take a romantic trip—inside of a mental elevator.

Like this:

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