Tag: cats
After you buy my Dancing Lessons In A Box, and before you leave a one-star product review on Amazon, you should remember that the box only appears to be empty, but it is in fact full of my love for you.
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We all have needs, we all need love, and if you see a need, you need to fill it, because it’s not like you only have a finite amount of love and you have to be stingy. No, try to give it all away you’ll soon realize you have an endless supply of the very thing people need most.
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A vending machine that dispenses cats is a vending machine that distributes tenderness, and it if accepts hugs as payment, those circular displays of affection, then it fully completes The Circle of Love.
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What I love most about my cat is that when I talk, he listens. And by listens I mean sleeps. It’s just another sign I should be a college professor in a huge lecture hall.
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What do you think is The Sweetness’ favorite song?
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Rent one cat in a bag, get FREE snuggles. The bag is available to rent per hour, per day, or perhaps for life. But hurry, because supplies are limited. First come, first serve, as I only have ONE left IN STOCK.
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I used to be vehemently opposed to The War on Drugs, because it saved people’s lives by ruining their lives through enslavement, but now I think it’d be a good idea to make war on drugs—starting and ending with dismantling The CIA.
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Cats, they do what they want, when they want, where they want, and that’s why they are my heroes.
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I am The Cat Whisperer. Librarians love me, as cats and whispering are their two favorite things. Right now I’m renting both for the price of one.
