Tag: cats
What year is it? I don’t even know, because since I’ve been cuddling with a hologram, I’ve been living in The Future! For ONLY $19.95, you can buy a ticket to the place everyone would pay to go to now, but will eventually end up there for FREE. Save time by spending money!
Share this:
Share this:
I’m not a very good sleeper. But you know what? I’m willing to put in a few extra hours every day to get better. That’s just the kind of hard worker I am.
Share this:
Share this:
After you buy my Dancing Lessons In A Box, and before you leave a one-star product review on Amazon, you should remember that the box only appears to be empty, but it is in fact full of my love for you.
Share this:
Share this:
We all have needs, we all need love, and if you see a need, you need to fill it, because it’s not like you only have a finite amount of love and you have to be stingy. No, try to give it all away you’ll soon realize you have an endless supply of the very thing people need most.
Share this:
Share this:
A vending machine that dispenses cats is a vending machine that distributes tenderness, and it if accepts hugs as payment, those circular displays of affection, then it fully completes The Circle of Love.
Share this:
Share this:
What I love most about my cat is that when I talk, he listens. And by listens I mean sleeps. It’s just another sign I should be a college professor in a huge lecture hall.
Share this:
Share this:
What do you think is The Sweetness’ favorite song?
Share this:
Share this:
Rent one cat in a bag, get FREE snuggles. The bag is available to rent per hour, per day, or perhaps for life. But hurry, because supplies are limited. First come, first serve, as I only have ONE left IN STOCK.
Share this:
Share this:
I used to be vehemently opposed to The War on Drugs, because it saved people’s lives by ruining their lives through enslavement, but now I think it’d be a good idea to make war on drugs—starting and ending with dismantling The CIA.
