Tag: cat
TODAY is the last day to take a tour of BearPaw Duck Farm—until TOMORROW. The ticket price today is $19.95, but with the way The Federal Reserve is printing fake money, tomorrow it may cost you ONE TRILLION DOLLARS. Just ask 2005 Zimbabwe.
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I have a doppelgänger who fought in The American Civil War in the 1860s, so people always assume I’m 200 years old. They ask me, “What’s the secret to long life?” Simple: Accept FREE food, but try not to get turned into Duck Soup once you’ve been fattened up.
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Flamingos are pink giraffe ducks. That’s not just a fact—it’s also the promo code for your FREE tour of BearPaw Albino Horseneck Flamingo Farm.
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As I was petting my cat this morning, it hit me that maybe my cat was stillfully rubbing my hand. In this upside-down world of negative interest rates, can you really be sure of anything except the value of duck eggs?
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The perfect pet is half cat, half waterfall, because you could splash in snuggles, but also take it for a walk down a mountain. But why go through all that work, when you could just take The Ozarks Service Escalator?
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Isn’t the mortality rate of The Coronavirus something like .003%? I guess Americans think trading 100% of our FREEDOM, and our ability to support ourselves, is a good bargain for something less deadly than drinking Corona beer and driving
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Drink up your delusion while you still can. FREE refills while supplies last.
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The worst part about this Coronavirus Crisis is that since everything has been canceled, I can’t watch sports. It’s true that as a fan I was Helen Kelleresque, but I was just about to get serious about life, and finally start paying attention to what truly matters in this world.
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For you, the buyer, the best part about FREE refills is the price. Now ONLY $19.95! (Plus shipping and fondling.)
