The funeral business is the only one with no repeat customers. Though you only die once, why not buy your own funeral from me twice? My Buy One Funeral, Get One FREE deal only applies the second time you purchase a custom Death Party.

2021/07/16 jarodkintz1Leave a comment

You left too early last night. If only you’d have stayed another ten minutes, you’d have gotten to enjoy my dazzling saxophone solo. I’m sure my enraptured audience forgot that they were at a party and thought they were in an elevator.

2021/06/15 jarodkintz1Leave a comment

I also love Fat Donny, but the guy is a misnomer, because he is NOT fat. I need to take him to an all-you-can-eat buffet.

2021/06/05 jarodkintz1Leave a comment

I’m a Starbucks coffee connoisseur. You know I’m an expert, because I can’t distinguish between their java and muddy duck water.

2021/05/30 jarodkintz1Leave a comment

The way Bitcoin tanks, you’d think it was a War Machine. Of course, that’s ridiculous, because if it had rolling treads and a swiveling cannon, it would be more peaceful. If you’re looking for the investment of The Future, try raising farm animals.

2021/05/24 jarodkintz1Leave a comment

I’ve been playing the piano since I was six years old. When I finish practicing tonight, in nine minutes, I will have put in a collective three hours mastering this instrument. If you’ve got a bowl full of Asian noodles, I’ve got the Chopsticks.

2021/05/09 jarodkintz1Leave a comment

I love the sound of fall leaves crunching under my feet as I walk on them. But wait, those are potato chips, my football helmet is full of nacho cheese, and this is winter. Shop #BearPawDuckAndMemeFarm for a smorgasbord of assorted tasty ear treats.

2021/02/13 jarodkintz1Leave a comment

BearPaw Duck & Meme Farm will be getting a Mouser Cat tomorrow. I posted a No Trespassing sign, but the field mice just refused to keep out of Quackster Castle. So, tomorrow they will meet a mighty hunter of their nightmares.

2021/02/12 jarodkintz1Leave a comment

Are you the sort of person who eats dessert before or after dinner? As for me, I do BOTH. I eat dessert, dinner, and then dessert again. Without the desserts on both sides of the dinner, there’d be no balance, and a balanced diet is a healthy diet.

2021/02/03 jarodkintz11 Comment

The way water sits still in a glass and holds its shape, that’s how I dance. Luckily for you, I am now offering FREE refills.

2021/01/22 jarodkintz1Leave a comment

Tag: cat memes

The funeral business is the only one with no repeat customers. Though you only die once, why not buy your own funeral from me twice? My Buy One Funeral, Get One FREE deal only applies the second time you purchase a custom Death Party.

Like this:

You left too early last night. If only you’d have stayed another ten minutes, you’d have gotten to enjoy my dazzling saxophone solo. I’m sure my enraptured audience forgot that they were at a party and thought they were in an elevator.

Like this:

I also love Fat Donny, but the guy is a misnomer, because he is NOT fat. I need to take him to an all-you-can-eat buffet.

Like this:

I’m a Starbucks coffee connoisseur. You know I’m an expert, because I can’t distinguish between their java and muddy duck water.

Like this:

The way Bitcoin tanks, you’d think it was a War Machine. Of course, that’s ridiculous, because if it had rolling treads and a swiveling cannon, it would be more peaceful. If you’re looking for the investment of The Future, try raising farm animals.

Like this:

I’ve been playing the piano since I was six years old. When I finish practicing tonight, in nine minutes, I will have put in a collective three hours mastering this instrument. If you’ve got a bowl full of Asian noodles, I’ve got the Chopsticks.

Like this:

I love the sound of fall leaves crunching under my feet as I walk on them. But wait, those are potato chips, my football helmet is full of nacho cheese, and this is winter. Shop #BearPawDuckAndMemeFarm for a smorgasbord of assorted tasty ear treats.

Like this:

BearPaw Duck & Meme Farm will be getting a Mouser Cat tomorrow. I posted a No Trespassing sign, but the field mice just refused to keep out of Quackster Castle. So, tomorrow they will meet a mighty hunter of their nightmares.

Like this:

Are you the sort of person who eats dessert before or after dinner? As for me, I do BOTH. I eat dessert, dinner, and then dessert again. Without the desserts on both sides of the dinner, there’d be no balance, and a balanced diet is a healthy diet.

Like this:

The way water sits still in a glass and holds its shape, that’s how I dance. Luckily for you, I am now offering FREE refills.

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