Skip to content

Love now, not later. Also, love later.

  • Contact Me
  • About
  • My Books On Amazon

Tag: buy

What does it mean to “shop”? If it’s simply you spending money, then yes, you can shop this deal. If it means you spending money in return for what you expected to buy, then no, this SALE is not for you.

2020/03/032020/03/03 jarodkintz1Leave a comment

giphy-1

Share this:

  • Email
  • Tweet
  • Share on Tumblr
  • More
  • Print
  • Pocket
  • WhatsApp

Like this:

Like Loading...

Share this:

  • Email
  • Tweet
  • Share on Tumblr
  • More
  • Print
  • Pocket
  • WhatsApp

Like this:

Like Loading...

If Uncle Sam didn’t exist, I wouldn’t even have one friend. Of course, I pay Uncle Sam out of my paycheck, so it kind of feels like I’m buying his love.

2020/02/282020/02/28 jarodkintz1Leave a comment

giphy-30

Share this:

  • Email
  • Tweet
  • Share on Tumblr
  • More
  • Print
  • Pocket
  • WhatsApp

Like this:

Like Loading...

Share this:

  • Email
  • Tweet
  • Share on Tumblr
  • More
  • Print
  • Pocket
  • WhatsApp

Like this:

Like Loading...

Please pray for me, and wipe your hands on my product, so it gets your signature scent, and can pulse out Buy Signals to you. $19.95 feels like a mild electrical shock similar to getting struck by lightning.

2020/01/012020/01/01 jarodkintz1Leave a comment

giphy-6

Share this:

  • Email
  • Tweet
  • Share on Tumblr
  • More
  • Print
  • Pocket
  • WhatsApp

Like this:

Like Loading...

Share this:

  • Email
  • Tweet
  • Share on Tumblr
  • More
  • Print
  • Pocket
  • WhatsApp

Like this:

Like Loading...

I’m learning to play the trumpet one string at a time. I wish this whole experience was microwavable, because it’s frozen and taking forever in the oven.

2020/01/012020/01/01 jarodkintz1Leave a comment

giphy-2

Share this:

  • Email
  • Tweet
  • Share on Tumblr
  • More
  • Print
  • Pocket
  • WhatsApp

Like this:

Like Loading...

Share this:

  • Email
  • Tweet
  • Share on Tumblr
  • More
  • Print
  • Pocket
  • WhatsApp

Like this:

Like Loading...

Sometimes you buy too much and you regret it. Like buying a timeshare condo, or buying twelve donuts and actually getting thirteen. Are you serious, baker? I can only eat one dozen at one time. What’s with the extra one?

2019/12/102019/12/10 jarodkintz1Leave a comment

giphy-18

Share this:

  • Email
  • Tweet
  • Share on Tumblr
  • More
  • Print
  • Pocket
  • WhatsApp

Like this:

Like Loading...

Share this:

  • Email
  • Tweet
  • Share on Tumblr
  • More
  • Print
  • Pocket
  • WhatsApp

Like this:

Like Loading...

A uniform is a costume, and a $9/hour security guard might as well be wearing a Mickey Mouse outfit.

2019/09/302019/09/30 jarodkintz1Leave a comment

giphy-24

Share this:

  • Email
  • Tweet
  • Share on Tumblr
  • More
  • Print
  • Pocket
  • WhatsApp

Like this:

Like Loading...

Share this:

  • Email
  • Tweet
  • Share on Tumblr
  • More
  • Print
  • Pocket
  • WhatsApp

Like this:

Like Loading...

In my Warehouse of Romance I specialize in selling only two precious items: Love and Leftover Meatloaf. Both are vintage 1980s, so get them while they’re still cold.

2019/09/262019/09/26 jarodkintz1Leave a comment

giphy-20

Share this:

  • Email
  • Tweet
  • Share on Tumblr
  • More
  • Print
  • Pocket
  • WhatsApp

Like this:

Like Loading...

Share this:

  • Email
  • Tweet
  • Share on Tumblr
  • More
  • Print
  • Pocket
  • WhatsApp

Like this:

Like Loading...

I’m a born salesman. In fact, I was born earlier than the doctor expected, so before my mom and I left the hospital I was able successfully haggle down the price of the whole process, getting it discounted by the amount of time I saved by appearing before my scheduled arrival.

2019/08/302019/08/30 jarodkintz1Leave a comment

giphy-29

Share this:

  • Email
  • Tweet
  • Share on Tumblr
  • More
  • Print
  • Pocket
  • WhatsApp

Like this:

Like Loading...

Share this:

  • Email
  • Tweet
  • Share on Tumblr
  • More
  • Print
  • Pocket
  • WhatsApp

Like this:

Like Loading...

Why miss a sale at twenty dollars, when people will buy at $19.95? You lose a nickel, but consumers lose their shit. They may not externalize it, but their excitement shows up at the cashless register.

2019/03/102019/03/10 jarodkintz1Leave a comment

giphy-13

Share this:

  • Email
  • Tweet
  • Share on Tumblr
  • More
  • Print
  • Pocket
  • WhatsApp

Like this:

Like Loading...

Share this:

  • Email
  • Tweet
  • Share on Tumblr
  • More
  • Print
  • Pocket
  • WhatsApp

Like this:

Like Loading...

A broken clock is right twice a day—and that makes NOW the perfect time to buy one, because now when you Buy One Broken Clock, You Get FREE Fake Space! I buy Factory Direct from NASA, so you know my inventory is FRESH.

2019/03/072019/03/07 jarodkintz1Leave a comment

giphy-10

Share this:

  • Email
  • Tweet
  • Share on Tumblr
  • More
  • Print
  • Pocket
  • WhatsApp

Like this:

Like Loading...

Share this:

  • Email
  • Tweet
  • Share on Tumblr
  • More
  • Print
  • Pocket
  • WhatsApp

Like this:

Like Loading...

Posts navigation

Older posts
Newer posts

tag cloud

Follow me on Twitter

My Tweets

Recent Posts

  • Here’s an idea: You blame me and I’ll blame you. Then we can both join Howard Jones in singing, “No one is to blame.”
  • Everyone is getting crazier. And poorer. Which is making everyone even crazier.
  • I once wrote a 100,000-word book. But don’t worry, I managed to edit it down to just over one million words.
  • A hundred dollars used to have value. Now it has grown fat and worthless. Or has it grown so skinny as to be useless?
  • If I were the world’s richest man, I’d present myself as the world’s poorest, because I’d want people to want me for me. In fact, I’m so poor I want to be Guinness verified as The World’s Poorest—and I’m even willing to pay for the title (a bribe).
Blog at WordPress.com.
  • Follow Following
    • jarodkintz.com
    • Join 596 other followers
    • Already have a WordPress.com account? Log in now.
    • jarodkintz.com
    • Customize
    • Follow Following
    • Sign up
    • Log in
    • Report this content
    • View site in Reader
    • Manage subscriptions
    • Collapse this bar
 

Loading Comments...
 

    %d bloggers like this:
      %d bloggers like this:
        %d bloggers like this:
          %d bloggers like this:
            %d bloggers like this:
              %d bloggers like this:
                %d bloggers like this:
                  %d bloggers like this:
                    %d bloggers like this:
                      %d bloggers like this:
                        %d bloggers like this: