BearPaw Duck Farm’s omelets are for people with nut allergies. They don’t contain nuts, but you’d have to be nuts to not BUY one.

2020/11/23 jarodkintz1Leave a comment

This GIF doubles as an air freshener. It smells like watery duck poop.

2020/11/13 jarodkintz1Leave a comment

My advice to you is if you feel like you’re losing, give yourself a pep talk. Be your own coach. How do you do that? For ONLY $19.95, I can coach you to be your own coach. Lessons even come with a FREE trophy!

2020/09/13 jarodkintz1Leave a comment

My only note for Branson’s Anthems of Rock is what I tell potential buyers at my Tupperware Parties: You can never have too much Meatloaf. It makes such perfect Leftovers that a whole show could be done from the classic love ballad that’s beloved by fans of all hearing ranges.

2020/09/06 jarodkintz1Leave a comment

At The Branson Craft Mall, the cover band was instrumental in getting me to hum along during dinner. The lead singer reminded me of myself—if I were a woman, attractive, and were actually musical.

2020/08/232020/08/23 jarodkintz1Leave a comment

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If you sell the same thing as your competitor, then what people are really buying is into you as a brand. Use memes to show you’re a real person, even if you’re a solar-powered AI robot.

2020/08/232020/08/23 jarodkintz1Leave a comment

Here today, gone tomorrow—is that a reference to the value of a fiat currency like the dollar? Buy things that buy things, and don’t save things that don’t buy things.

2020/08/012020/08/01 jarodkintz1Leave a comment

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I may dance like two-thirds of the bottom half of a piano, but that doesn’t mean you can buy my Romantic Moves. However, they are FOR RENT at Truck Stop Diner Prices.

2020/03/292020/03/29 jarodkintz1Leave a comment

For you, the buyer, the best part about FREE refills is the price. Now ONLY $19.95! (Plus shipping and fondling.)

2020/03/152020/03/15 jarodkintz1Leave a comment

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What does it mean to “shop”? If it’s simply you spending money, then yes, you can shop this deal. If it means you spending money in return for what you expected to buy, then no, this SALE is not for you.

2020/03/032020/03/03 jarodkintz1Leave a comment

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Tag: buy

BearPaw Duck Farm’s omelets are for people with nut allergies. They don’t contain nuts, but you’d have to be nuts to not BUY one.

Like this:

This GIF doubles as an air freshener. It smells like watery duck poop.

Like this:

My advice to you is if you feel like you’re losing, give yourself a pep talk. Be your own coach. How do you do that? For ONLY $19.95, I can coach you to be your own coach. Lessons even come with a FREE trophy!

Like this:

My only note for Branson’s Anthems of Rock is what I tell potential buyers at my Tupperware Parties: You can never have too much Meatloaf. It makes such perfect Leftovers that a whole show could be done from the classic love ballad that’s beloved by fans of all hearing ranges.

Like this:

At The Branson Craft Mall, the cover band was instrumental in getting me to hum along during dinner. The lead singer reminded me of myself—if I were a woman, attractive, and were actually musical.

Like this:

If you sell the same thing as your competitor, then what people are really buying is into you as a brand. Use memes to show you’re a real person, even if you’re a solar-powered AI robot.

Like this:

Here today, gone tomorrow—is that a reference to the value of a fiat currency like the dollar? Buy things that buy things, and don’t save things that don’t buy things.

Like this:

I may dance like two-thirds of the bottom half of a piano, but that doesn’t mean you can buy my Romantic Moves. However, they are FOR RENT at Truck Stop Diner Prices.

Like this:

For you, the buyer, the best part about FREE refills is the price. Now ONLY $19.95! (Plus shipping and fondling.)

Like this:

What does it mean to “shop”? If it’s simply you spending money, then yes, you can shop this deal. If it means you spending money in return for what you expected to buy, then no, this SALE is not for you.

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