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Tag: butterfly

Sometimes I schedule low-paying job interviews just because we are living through hyperinflation, and the extreme juxtaposition fascinates me. One interviewer asked me if I’d ever made an NFT. The answer is yes, but for $11/hour I ain’t making or doing shit and it’s a fair trade.

2021/10/16 jarodkintz1Leave a comment

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I have a pet bicycle, and when I take it for a walk people look at me like I’m crazy. What, have you never seen an “I Voted!” T-shirt before?

2021/07/08 jarodkintz1Leave a comment

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A Pekin duckling has fur like rays of sunlight. It’s a yellow orb of a bird that’s bursting with warmth, and it transforms your fluttering heart into a butterfly.

2021/06/23 jarodkintz1Leave a comment

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Butterflies are fluttering flowers, and they float the way Dad’s Donuts’ fluffy pastries taste. The sweet delights are so light they give flight to culinary fantasy.

2021/03/10 jarodkintz1Leave a comment

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She makes my heart flutter like a butterfly, when before it was still like a rose, and so in return I bought her the most romantic gift ever: A used dishwasher. I would have bought her a new one, but babies splash around too much in the sink.

2020/12/18 jarodkintz1Leave a comment

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I don’t know who this woman is, but she deserves a trophy for her ability to show off a trophy. It’s like a win-win, and that’s the kind of thing I’d like to offer FOR SALE for ONLY $19.95.

2020/08/012020/08/01 jarodkintz1Leave a comment

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I’m also selling Fish-Scented Soap. Each bar comes with a FREE six-pack of beer.

2020/02/232020/02/23 jarodkintz1Leave a comment

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A firefly is flying fire, but is a butterfly flying butter? It should be called a flutterfly.

2020/02/152020/02/15 jarodkintz1Leave a comment

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I tried telling her, but she wouldn’t listen. I tried showing her, but she refused to see. I asked her what she thought, and she refused to say. That was the last time I ever spoke to Helen Keller.

2020/01/122020/01/12 jarodkintz1Leave a comment

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When I asked him about money, he melted like a piece of chocolate wrapped as a gold coin, and I never eat those things, for fear that they taste like Fake Money. Would you eat something that was flavored like fiat currency?

2019/11/082019/11/08 jarodkintz1Leave a comment

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