I have a pet bicycle, and when I take it for a walk people look at me like I’m crazy. What, have you never seen an “I Voted!” T-shirt before?

2021/07/08 jarodkintz1Leave a comment

A Pekin duckling has fur like rays of sunlight. It’s a yellow orb of a bird that’s bursting with warmth, and it transforms your fluttering heart into a butterfly.

2021/06/23 jarodkintz1Leave a comment

Butterflies are fluttering flowers, and they float the way Dad’s Donuts’ fluffy pastries taste. The sweet delights are so light they give flight to culinary fantasy.

2021/03/10 jarodkintz1Leave a comment

She makes my heart flutter like a butterfly, when before it was still like a rose, and so in return I bought her the most romantic gift ever: A used dishwasher. I would have bought her a new one, but babies splash around too much in the sink.

2020/12/18 jarodkintz1Leave a comment

I don’t know who this woman is, but she deserves a trophy for her ability to show off a trophy. It’s like a win-win, and that’s the kind of thing I’d like to offer FOR SALE for ONLY $19.95.

2020/08/012020/08/01 jarodkintz1Leave a comment

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I’m also selling Fish-Scented Soap. Each bar comes with a FREE six-pack of beer.

2020/02/232020/02/23 jarodkintz1Leave a comment

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A firefly is flying fire, but is a butterfly flying butter? It should be called a flutterfly.

2020/02/152020/02/15 jarodkintz1Leave a comment

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I tried telling her, but she wouldn’t listen. I tried showing her, but she refused to see. I asked her what she thought, and she refused to say. That was the last time I ever spoke to Helen Keller.

2020/01/122020/01/12 jarodkintz1Leave a comment

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When I asked him about money, he melted like a piece of chocolate wrapped as a gold coin, and I never eat those things, for fear that they taste like Fake Money. Would you eat something that was flavored like fiat currency?

2019/11/082019/11/08 jarodkintz1Leave a comment

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I used to be a bicycle salesman, with my main promotion being Buy One Tire, Get One FREE. Now I sell Unicycles, and when you buy one you get a FREE handlebar mustache.

2018/12/192018/12/19 jarodkintz1Leave a comment

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Tag: butterfly

I have a pet bicycle, and when I take it for a walk people look at me like I’m crazy. What, have you never seen an “I Voted!” T-shirt before?

Like this:

A Pekin duckling has fur like rays of sunlight. It’s a yellow orb of a bird that’s bursting with warmth, and it transforms your fluttering heart into a butterfly.

Like this:

Butterflies are fluttering flowers, and they float the way Dad’s Donuts’ fluffy pastries taste. The sweet delights are so light they give flight to culinary fantasy.

Like this:

She makes my heart flutter like a butterfly, when before it was still like a rose, and so in return I bought her the most romantic gift ever: A used dishwasher. I would have bought her a new one, but babies splash around too much in the sink.

Like this:

I don’t know who this woman is, but she deserves a trophy for her ability to show off a trophy. It’s like a win-win, and that’s the kind of thing I’d like to offer FOR SALE for ONLY $19.95.

Like this:

I’m also selling Fish-Scented Soap. Each bar comes with a FREE six-pack of beer.

Like this:

A firefly is flying fire, but is a butterfly flying butter? It should be called a flutterfly.

Like this:

I tried telling her, but she wouldn’t listen. I tried showing her, but she refused to see. I asked her what she thought, and she refused to say. That was the last time I ever spoke to Helen Keller.

Like this:

When I asked him about money, he melted like a piece of chocolate wrapped as a gold coin, and I never eat those things, for fear that they taste like Fake Money. Would you eat something that was flavored like fiat currency?

Like this:

I used to be a bicycle salesman, with my main promotion being Buy One Tire, Get One FREE. Now I sell Unicycles, and when you buy one you get a FREE handlebar mustache.

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