The Chamber of Commerce is a relic of the 1890s, like Oscar Wilde, only not timeless. They’re also not timeful. They’re like a broken watch that everyone keeps looking at, but doesn’t actually do anything but cost money.

2020/06/122020/06/12 jarodkintz1Leave a comment

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If I have 25 ducks, and I give you two, how many ducks do I have? The answer is 25, because I’m not in the business of just giving ducks away. But if you are interested, they are all FOR SALE.

2020/05/012020/05/01 jarodkintz1Leave a comment

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Now that nobody has any money or job, maybe people would pay me to print them income. Buy a $100 dollar bill for ONLY $19.95—or Five For Fifty dollars. (Fake, fake, fake money not an acceptable form of payment for fake, fake money.)

2020/04/212020/04/21 jarodkintz1Leave a comment

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I may dance like two-thirds of the bottom half of a piano, but that doesn’t mean you can buy my Romantic Moves. However, they are FOR RENT at Truck Stop Diner Prices.

2020/03/292020/03/29 jarodkintz1Leave a comment

I saw a rooster on a leash, so I asked the guy walking it if he was offering Meals On A Leash. He denied being an industry disruptor, an innovator, so I snatched the approach to FRESH delivery food and transformed it into a new #startup.

2020/03/262020/03/26 jarodkintz1Leave a comment

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The worst part about this Coronavirus Crisis is that since everything has been canceled, I can’t watch sports. It’s true that as a fan I was Helen Kelleresque, but I was just about to get serious about life, and finally start paying attention to what truly matters in this world.

2020/03/182020/03/18 jarodkintz1Leave a comment

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Sorry folks, Branson is CLOSED for cleaning. We apologize for the inconvenience. If you’ll take a seat on the hard, wooden bench, we should be open again by the year 2030.

2020/03/152020/03/15 jarodkintz1Leave a comment

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First Disneyland temporarily closed, and I wonder if next The Circus will be permanently shut down. Oh, it would be a shame if Branson abolished The Chamber of Commerce.

2020/03/132020/03/13 jarodkintz1Leave a comment

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Even if you’re a genderfluid that offers FREE refills on sexual orientation, and you HATE labels, you have to admit that this label for April in The Ozarks is eye-popping. I’m talking Marty Feldman eye-popping.

2020/03/122020/03/12 jarodkintz1Leave a comment

How can I convey how much conveyor belts in factories are needed when a town’s only industry is tourism? If you want to make progress, you have to actually make something.

2020/03/032020/03/03 jarodkintz1Leave a comment

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Tag: business

The Chamber of Commerce is a relic of the 1890s, like Oscar Wilde, only not timeless. They’re also not timeful. They’re like a broken watch that everyone keeps looking at, but doesn’t actually do anything but cost money.

Like this:

If I have 25 ducks, and I give you two, how many ducks do I have? The answer is 25, because I’m not in the business of just giving ducks away. But if you are interested, they are all FOR SALE.

Like this:

Now that nobody has any money or job, maybe people would pay me to print them income. Buy a $100 dollar bill for ONLY $19.95—or Five For Fifty dollars. (Fake, fake, fake money not an acceptable form of payment for fake, fake money.)

Like this:

I may dance like two-thirds of the bottom half of a piano, but that doesn’t mean you can buy my Romantic Moves. However, they are FOR RENT at Truck Stop Diner Prices.

Like this:

I saw a rooster on a leash, so I asked the guy walking it if he was offering Meals On A Leash. He denied being an industry disruptor, an innovator, so I snatched the approach to FRESH delivery food and transformed it into a new #startup.

Like this:

The worst part about this Coronavirus Crisis is that since everything has been canceled, I can’t watch sports. It’s true that as a fan I was Helen Kelleresque, but I was just about to get serious about life, and finally start paying attention to what truly matters in this world.

Like this:

Sorry folks, Branson is CLOSED for cleaning. We apologize for the inconvenience. If you’ll take a seat on the hard, wooden bench, we should be open again by the year 2030.

Like this:

First Disneyland temporarily closed, and I wonder if next The Circus will be permanently shut down. Oh, it would be a shame if Branson abolished The Chamber of Commerce.

Like this:

Even if you’re a genderfluid that offers FREE refills on sexual orientation, and you HATE labels, you have to admit that this label for April in The Ozarks is eye-popping. I’m talking Marty Feldman eye-popping.

Like this:

How can I convey how much conveyor belts in factories are needed when a town’s only industry is tourism? If you want to make progress, you have to actually make something.

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