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Tag: business

By embracing international corporations, and encouraging them to come to town, the Chamber of Commerce is making everyone poorer, because Mom & Pop shops can’t compete on price, and all the money spent at Global Inc. gets siphoned away and can’t spiral around locally.

2021/02/17 jarodkintz1Leave a comment

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The thing about driving down Memory Lane is you can only go in reverse. Another name for Memory Lane, at least for me, is The Drive Thru. It always reminds me of better days, like the ones that filled up last week.

2021/02/07 jarodkintz1Leave a comment

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Here at BearPaw Duck & Meme Farm, I’ve sold more T-shirts than I have eggs. That’s because I’ve sold ONE T-shirt. I know, because I bought it myself. I guess I am a pretty savvy businessman.

2021/01/16 jarodkintz1Leave a comment

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It’s like my good friend Elon Musk said, “If you don’t shop at BearPaw Duck & Meme Farm, you’ll wish you were born as a hologram, because I’m going to Mars to be with other beings of light, so go buy a Tesla and starve.”

2021/01/122021/01/14 jarodkintz1Leave a comment

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When you arrive at BearPaw Duck Farm, ask for Natalie. Natalie doesn’t work here, and nobody here knows anybody named Natalie, but that doesn’t mean you shouldn’t ask for her. We have a cozy lobby where you can wait for her, with comfy wooden benches and cold coffee to drink.

2020/12/08 jarodkintz1Leave a comment

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BearPaw Duck Farm’s omelets are for people with nut allergies. They don’t contain nuts, but you’d have to be nuts to not BUY one.

2020/11/23 jarodkintz1Leave a comment

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I don’t know about you, but The Great Reset has me excited. I can’t wait for the day that every city and town looks the same, offering no unique business culture, where the only place to shop is Walmart, and the only place to eat is McDonald’s. Globalism is the future.

2020/11/23 jarodkintz1Leave a comment

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This is the deal of the century. Just not this century. Business was pretty good in the year 1234. My rates are competitive to that era.

2020/11/13 jarodkintz1Leave a comment

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When a mass of people gather to watch two people fight, the best seat in the house is behind the counter that displays the candy and popcorn FOR SALE. Show your “I VOTED” sticker to receive a 50% discount on a half-sized bag.

2020/11/06 jarodkintz1Leave a comment

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If the people in Branson thought 60 minutes of hustle for nine dollars an hour was frustrating and infuriating, they’ll really love zero, both in terms of money and avaliable work. But perhaps when they’re sleeping on the street they can use their Trump 2020 flags as blankets.

2020/10/08 jarodkintz1Leave a comment

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  • Even if I had both my knees replaced with two Rubik’s cubes, I’d still make coffee runs to Neighbor’s Mill. The only puzzle to me is how anybody would ever choose a donut from Dunkin’ over one from Dad’s.
  • Your eyes have to be glazed over with stupidity to think that one FREE glazed donut per day from Krispy Kreme is some kind of valuable reward for letting yourself be injected with fluid that makes viper poison look wholesome.
  • At BearPaw Duck and Meme Farm, we believe the only thing that separates meatloaf from birthday cake is candles. Since they both have the same great flavor, why don’t you buy a slab for your next celebration?
  • As a farmer of waterfalls here in Harrison, Arkansas, I get to raise air-flowing bodies of aqua. Though this one is just a baby, with the right diet, it may grow up to be the next Niagara.
  • My favorite song is With Or Without You. That’s also how I dance.
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