Tag: business
A town’s business cycle is a dance, and for the party and prosperity to increase in intensity, you can’t be playing music from 60 years ago.
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Self-storage is good, but self-actualization is better. How can you work on improving your personal life if your heart is cluttered? Why not store all that junk in my attic for ONLY $19.95 a month?
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In my Warehouse of Romance I specialize in selling only two precious items: Love and Leftover Meatloaf. Both are vintage 1980s, so get them while they’re still cold.
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I’m terrified of heights and sharks, and the only thing scarier would be if you combine the two together for one action-packed adventure, with prices starting at just $19.95 while supplies last.
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Neiman Marcus will be out of business by next year, unlike me, who was never IN business to begin with, so I can make entrepreneurial missteps and then repackage them as Dancing Lessons.
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Perhaps a coffin maker is the one salesman who can’t entice customers with Buy One Get One FREE. Especially if that customer is single, because he’s divorced and broke, from paying a fancy wedding DJ.
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My soup is 100% Ranch FREE, which is why when you buy it I include FREE Ranch. (Ranch sold separately.)
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To save money (for me, not you), my Dancing Lessons In A Box are now cardboard-free. (Box sold separately.) Also, this juice only seems Extra Large because this man is Extra Small. But what do you care, it’s FREE when you sign up for my Dancing Lessons.
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I know you’re probably thinking, “You may have just solved the greatest problem facing humanity with your Whistling As A Service idea, but how will you scale up as a business?” That’s easy! I’ll be cloning myself into Unicorn Status and my other selves will be working for FREE.
