Why should you listen to me about business? Do I know how to make a dollar? Yes. Do I know how to make two dollars? Well, no. Not unless I get my hands on a Federal Reserve Fake Money Printer.
Tag: business
I think you are confused. You want to fight the GOAT, the Greatest Of All Time, and not an actual goat. But I’ll bet you could beat the GOAT in a fight, because you have the distinct advantage of not being dead.
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Even in today’s inflationary environment, $10,000 for one load of unvaxxed semen seems a bit stiff. That’s why I’m offering the deal of a lifetime: Buy One Load, Get One FREE. That’s two kids for the price of one! (Freeze as directed.)
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Businesses will raise the price of the goods and services they sell in real time to keep pace with inflation, but what about the pay of their employees? If they’re going to keep you standing around waiting, I say you might as well stand idly while you’re on your employer’s clock.
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In honor of The World’s Largest Occult Ceremony, I’m offering an Olympics Special. Not only will you go way over budget, as I’ll be overcharging you, but since it’s not your money and nobody will be watching, nobody will care.
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The funeral business is the only one with no repeat customers. Though you only die once, why not buy your own funeral from me twice? My Buy One Funeral, Get One FREE deal only applies the second time you purchase a custom Death Party.
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Do you often feel lethargic, like you have no energy? Next time, try charging your body through electrocution via lightning bolt. I now make and sell pointy metal hats that are designed to be worn in thunderstorms.
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Do you find your living rental unit too cluttered? You should try post-minimalism and own no things. The people who own everything assure us that it will be great if we owned nothing.
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Globalist corporations could sell blindfolds that are see-through, and few would notice the defective product, because most have eyes but do not see. But they can’t hide inflation by keeping the price of a product the same, but reducing the quality and/or quality.
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By embracing international corporations, and encouraging them to come to town, the Chamber of Commerce is making everyone poorer, because Mom & Pop shops can’t compete on price, and all the money spent at Global Inc. gets siphoned away and can’t spiral around locally.
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