I was once walking in a field of sunflowers in Kansas, when suddenly one of them roared at me like a lion, and it wasn’t until the next moment that I realized that I run like an antelope when I’m feeling particularly brave.

2019/06/022019/06/02 jarodkintz1Leave a comment

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Right now I’m selling tornado-flavored ice cream at Buy One get 99 FREE for ONLY $19.95! (Offer not valid for residents of Oklahoma, Kansas, or Nebraska.)

2019/05/302019/05/30 jarodkintz1Leave a comment

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When I sell a Karate Chop, I never give a handshake to seal the deal, because I don’t give out FREE samples of the deadliest product in all of Clown World.

2019/05/302019/05/30 jarodkintz1Leave a comment

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If Branson’s tourism strategy is to attract the fattest, oldest, dumbest, and cheapest visitors, then I’d say they are executing flawlessly. Too bad repeat business is a problem due to poverty and death in that particular demographic.

2019/05/132019/05/13 jarodkintz1Leave a comment

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This #ad is #sponsored by The Piano Movers Association of America, and NOT by Absolut Vodka, because they won’t return my calls or respond to my demands to be paid for services rendered.

2019/05/102019/05/10 jarodkintz1Leave a comment

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As the world grows more violent, I’m trying to harvest a more valuable crop: Peace. As a Farmer of Love, I have what people both want and need, and that makes it doubly profitable.

2019/04/102019/04/10 jarodkintz1Leave a comment

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Waterfall escalators are now ON SALE. Treat your Splashing Snuggle Factory to the finest mobility equipment, and let it enjoy its old age with dignity.

2019/04/082019/04/08 jarodkintz1Leave a comment

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Many elderly waterfalls move to Branson to retire, and if you decide to adopt a Snuggly Splash Factory, you need to buy adequate aqua equipment to properly care for these gurgling geriatrics.

2019/03/272019/03/27 jarodkintz1Leave a comment

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A kiss tastes better on my lips than coffee, and has a way of waking me up on a much deeper level. It’s a life-changing experience, and I’d like to share it with you for ONLY $19.95 per month.

2019/03/222019/03/22 jarodkintz1Leave a comment

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I dance like I play the piano, and by that I mean when you watch my feet move you’d think I have 88 fingers. If you want to be a better lover, there’s a book for that, and I wrote it. You can read it, for ONLY $19.95.

2019/03/182019/03/18 jarodkintz1Leave a comment

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Tag: business

I was once walking in a field of sunflowers in Kansas, when suddenly one of them roared at me like a lion, and it wasn’t until the next moment that I realized that I run like an antelope when I’m feeling particularly brave.

Like this:

Right now I’m selling tornado-flavored ice cream at Buy One get 99 FREE for ONLY $19.95! (Offer not valid for residents of Oklahoma, Kansas, or Nebraska.)

Like this:

When I sell a Karate Chop, I never give a handshake to seal the deal, because I don’t give out FREE samples of the deadliest product in all of Clown World.

Like this:

If Branson’s tourism strategy is to attract the fattest, oldest, dumbest, and cheapest visitors, then I’d say they are executing flawlessly. Too bad repeat business is a problem due to poverty and death in that particular demographic.

Like this:

This #ad is #sponsored by The Piano Movers Association of America, and NOT by Absolut Vodka, because they won’t return my calls or respond to my demands to be paid for services rendered.

Like this:

As the world grows more violent, I’m trying to harvest a more valuable crop: Peace. As a Farmer of Love, I have what people both want and need, and that makes it doubly profitable.

Like this:

Waterfall escalators are now ON SALE. Treat your Splashing Snuggle Factory to the finest mobility equipment, and let it enjoy its old age with dignity.

Like this:

Many elderly waterfalls move to Branson to retire, and if you decide to adopt a Snuggly Splash Factory, you need to buy adequate aqua equipment to properly care for these gurgling geriatrics.

Like this:

A kiss tastes better on my lips than coffee, and has a way of waking me up on a much deeper level. It’s a life-changing experience, and I’d like to share it with you for ONLY $19.95 per month.

Like this:

I dance like I play the piano, and by that I mean when you watch my feet move you’d think I have 88 fingers. If you want to be a better lover, there’s a book for that, and I wrote it. You can read it, for ONLY $19.95.

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