As the world grows more violent, I’m trying to harvest a more valuable crop: Peace. As a Farmer of Love, I have what people both want and need, and that makes it doubly profitable.

2019/04/102019/04/10 jarodkintz1Leave a comment

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Waterfall escalators are now ON SALE. Treat your Splashing Snuggle Factory to the finest mobility equipment, and let it enjoy its old age with dignity.

2019/04/082019/04/08 jarodkintz1Leave a comment

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Many elderly waterfalls move to Branson to retire, and if you decide to adopt a Snuggly Splash Factory, you need to buy adequate aqua equipment to properly care for these gurgling geriatrics.

2019/03/272019/03/27 jarodkintz1Leave a comment

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A kiss tastes better on my lips than coffee, and has a way of waking me up on a much deeper level. It’s a life-changing experience, and I’d like to share it with you for ONLY $19.95 per month.

2019/03/222019/03/22 jarodkintz1Leave a comment

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I dance like I play the piano, and by that I mean when you watch my feet move you’d think I have 88 fingers. If you want to be a better lover, there’s a book for that, and I wrote it. You can read it, for ONLY $19.95.

2019/03/182019/03/18 jarodkintz1Leave a comment

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Tuxedos as formal wear is soooooo March 7th, 2019. Today is March 8th, 2019, and that means these jeans are the NEW must-have wedding attire.

2019/03/092019/03/09 jarodkintz1Leave a comment

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Why would you put the word dollar in your store? That’s a great way to continuously devalue your brand until it reaches its natural resting state—zero.

2019/03/08 jarodkintz1Leave a comment

A broken clock is right twice a day—and that makes NOW the perfect time to buy one, because now when you Buy One Broken Clock, You Get FREE Fake Space! I buy Factory Direct from NASA, so you know my inventory is FRESH.

2019/03/072019/03/07 jarodkintz1Leave a comment

With VCR prices this LOW, you could start your own buffet! Seniors eat FREE before five!

2019/03/062019/03/06 jarodkintz1Leave a comment

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My offer of FREE coffee cupcake refills applies to everyone except Wendell, who’s a java camel.

2019/03/062019/03/06 jarodkintz1Leave a comment

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Tag: business

As the world grows more violent, I’m trying to harvest a more valuable crop: Peace. As a Farmer of Love, I have what people both want and need, and that makes it doubly profitable.

Like this:

Waterfall escalators are now ON SALE. Treat your Splashing Snuggle Factory to the finest mobility equipment, and let it enjoy its old age with dignity.

Like this:

Many elderly waterfalls move to Branson to retire, and if you decide to adopt a Snuggly Splash Factory, you need to buy adequate aqua equipment to properly care for these gurgling geriatrics.

Like this:

A kiss tastes better on my lips than coffee, and has a way of waking me up on a much deeper level. It’s a life-changing experience, and I’d like to share it with you for ONLY $19.95 per month.

Like this:

I dance like I play the piano, and by that I mean when you watch my feet move you’d think I have 88 fingers. If you want to be a better lover, there’s a book for that, and I wrote it. You can read it, for ONLY $19.95.

Like this:

Tuxedos as formal wear is soooooo March 7th, 2019. Today is March 8th, 2019, and that means these jeans are the NEW must-have wedding attire.

Like this:

Why would you put the word dollar in your store? That’s a great way to continuously devalue your brand until it reaches its natural resting state—zero.

Like this:

A broken clock is right twice a day—and that makes NOW the perfect time to buy one, because now when you Buy One Broken Clock, You Get FREE Fake Space! I buy Factory Direct from NASA, so you know my inventory is FRESH.

Like this:

With VCR prices this LOW, you could start your own buffet! Seniors eat FREE before five!

Like this:

My offer of FREE coffee cupcake refills applies to everyone except Wendell, who’s a java camel.

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