People from Kansas drive as slow as corn grows. They think just as quickly, too, and I recommend a conversation with a tourist from there as a natural sleep remedy.
Tag: branson
Branson business owners complain that it’s hard to find good help among the locals. I guess it would be hard to find quality American labor when you’re paying Chinese slave factory wages.
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Branson offers competitive wages. Its most comparable competitor is a city in China—the place where they have all those slave-labor factories making cheap Walmart products.
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I know Romance is dying, and I feel bad that I won’t be able to bring it any homemade Duck Noodle Soup, but at the same time I am happy to be SOLD OUT. Julia Roberts galloped past BearPaw Duck Farm and drank up my entire stash, which was FULL and stored in Branson’s water tower.
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My new coffee is now 1980s flavored. It was inspired by Branson, Missouri’s love obsession with the year 1991, combined with the letter Q. You can’t say you get no respect, because you get FREE refills right up to 1990.
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I wanna go some place where The Dollar still has value, which is why for my 2020 summer vacation, I plan to spend it in 1991. That’s right, I’m going to Branson!
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Sorry folks, Branson is CLOSED for cleaning. We apologize for the inconvenience. If you’ll take a seat on the hard, wooden bench, we should be open again by the year 2030.
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First Disneyland temporarily closed, and I wonder if next The Circus will be permanently shut down. Oh, it would be a shame if Branson abolished The Chamber of Commerce.
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Laws are written, and laws are re-written. I can’t believe I still got a speeding ticket after explaining to the cop that where I’m from, the year 2244, the Speed Limit is 88 miles per hour, which is exactly how fast I was going when I passed by his radar gun.
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How can I convey how much conveyor belts in factories are needed when a town’s only industry is tourism? If you want to make progress, you have to actually make something.
jarodkintz.com 