Branson Frontier Adventures has an Ejection Seat. I haven’t tried it, but Mother’s Day is coming up, and it sounds like the perfect gift for every mother-in-law.

2021/05/05 jarodkintz1Leave a comment

Silver Dollar City has a real money ring to it. Too bad they pay their employees in fake money, and very little of it, while charging each guest enough fiat currency to feed a family of four in Jamaica for a month.

2021/04/28 jarodkintz1Leave a comment

Everybody knows I’m an adrenaline junky. That’s why nobody lets me watch mainstream news, because they know how it gets my heart rate amped. Fake narratives have a way of doing that to me.

2021/03/04 jarodkintz1Leave a comment

Eating at Outback in Branson is always a good time. But you’d better plan ahead, because that time is seventeen hours in the future.

2021/01/25 jarodkintz1Leave a comment

Remember to VOTE! Because if you don’t VOTE, then the same globalist corporate mascot will get selected, but you won’t feel empowered and like you had a tiny sliver of control in the outcome.

2020/11/02 jarodkintz1Leave a comment

In 2020, blindfolds aren’t worn over one’s eyes—they’re worn over mouths. The quickest way to spot someone with no insight is to look and see if they are wearing a face mask for a virus that’s so deadly it would lose in a one-on-one fight against Hillary Clinton, who’s still FREE.

2020/10/16 jarodkintz1Leave a comment

If the people in Branson thought 60 minutes of hustle for nine dollars an hour was frustrating and infuriating, they’ll really love zero, both in terms of money and avaliable work. But perhaps when they’re sleeping on the street they can use their Trump 2020 flags as blankets.

2020/10/08 jarodkintz1Leave a comment

I drink every ounce of beer like it’s a liquid gold coin. Craig at Cheeky Monkey made me feel like a Swiss vault—and at piggybank prices.

2020/09/06 jarodkintz1Leave a comment

I’m such a good dancer that I make marble statues look fluid. The only thing I do with more enthusiasm is VOTE.

2020/09/06 jarodkintz1Leave a comment

My only note for Branson’s Anthems of Rock is what I tell potential buyers at my Tupperware Parties: You can never have too much Meatloaf. It makes such perfect Leftovers that a whole show could be done from the classic love ballad that’s beloved by fans of all hearing ranges.

2020/09/06 jarodkintz1Leave a comment

Tag: branson missouri

Branson Frontier Adventures has an Ejection Seat. I haven’t tried it, but Mother’s Day is coming up, and it sounds like the perfect gift for every mother-in-law.

Like this:

Silver Dollar City has a real money ring to it. Too bad they pay their employees in fake money, and very little of it, while charging each guest enough fiat currency to feed a family of four in Jamaica for a month.

Like this:

Everybody knows I’m an adrenaline junky. That’s why nobody lets me watch mainstream news, because they know how it gets my heart rate amped. Fake narratives have a way of doing that to me.

Like this:

Eating at Outback in Branson is always a good time. But you’d better plan ahead, because that time is seventeen hours in the future.

Like this:

In 2020, blindfolds aren’t worn over one’s eyes—they’re worn over mouths. The quickest way to spot someone with no insight is to look and see if they are wearing a face mask for a virus that’s so deadly it would lose in a one-on-one fight against Hillary Clinton, who’s still FREE.

Like this:

If the people in Branson thought 60 minutes of hustle for nine dollars an hour was frustrating and infuriating, they’ll really love zero, both in terms of money and avaliable work. But perhaps when they’re sleeping on the street they can use their Trump 2020 flags as blankets.

Like this:

I drink every ounce of beer like it’s a liquid gold coin. Craig at Cheeky Monkey made me feel like a Swiss vault—and at piggybank prices.

Like this:

I’m such a good dancer that I make marble statues look fluid. The only thing I do with more enthusiasm is VOTE.

Like this:

My only note for Branson’s Anthems of Rock is what I tell potential buyers at my Tupperware Parties: You can never have too much Meatloaf. It makes such perfect Leftovers that a whole show could be done from the classic love ballad that’s beloved by fans of all hearing ranges.

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