People from Kansas drive as slow as corn grows. They think just as quickly, too, and I recommend a conversation with a tourist from there as a natural sleep remedy.

2022/01/03 jarodkintz1Leave a comment

Why aren’t my shows SOLD OUT? What octogenarian wouldn’t want to hear the songs of his youth?

2021/12/21 jarodkintz1Leave a comment

I just invented a way to put the smooth sounds of a saxophone directly into a trumpet—with little or minimal rusting. When you listen to my music, just close your eyes, because your mind is about to take a romantic trip—inside of a mental elevator.

2021/09/20 jarodkintz1Leave a comment

I just obtained a few more ounces of silver. I don’t look at it as buying the moon-like precious metal. I see it as getting FREE wealth, because I’m trading something that has no value for something of real worth.

2021/08/26 jarodkintz1Leave a comment

Branson, Missouri has always had an employment problem. They like to pay as close to zero as they can, and when nobody applies, do they raise wages? No, they import third-world labor.

2021/08/23 jarodkintz1Leave a comment

I also love Fat Donny, but the guy is a misnomer, because he is NOT fat. I need to take him to an all-you-can-eat buffet.

2021/06/05 jarodkintz1Leave a comment

With the giant octopus-shaped aquarium, Branson finally has its second iconic architectural building based on an animal. The first, of course, is The Great American Steak and Chicken House, which features a cock so large that even John Holmes would be impressed.

2021/05/29 jarodkintz1Leave a comment

I love Branson’s new aquarium. Has anybody else actually eaten at this sushi restaurant?

2021/05/29 jarodkintz1Leave a comment

I’m wearing my Star + Ving T-shirt to a buffet. When it’s all-you-can-eat, I don’t just show up hungry. I show up starving.

2021/05/11 jarodkintz1Leave a comment

I’ve been playing the piano since I was six years old. When I finish practicing tonight, in nine minutes, I will have put in a collective three hours mastering this instrument. If you’ve got a bowl full of Asian noodles, I’ve got the Chopsticks.

2021/05/09 jarodkintz1Leave a comment

Tag: branson missouri

People from Kansas drive as slow as corn grows. They think just as quickly, too, and I recommend a conversation with a tourist from there as a natural sleep remedy.

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Why aren’t my shows SOLD OUT? What octogenarian wouldn’t want to hear the songs of his youth?

Like this:

I just invented a way to put the smooth sounds of a saxophone directly into a trumpet—with little or minimal rusting. When you listen to my music, just close your eyes, because your mind is about to take a romantic trip—inside of a mental elevator.

Like this:

I just obtained a few more ounces of silver. I don’t look at it as buying the moon-like precious metal. I see it as getting FREE wealth, because I’m trading something that has no value for something of real worth.

Like this:

Branson, Missouri has always had an employment problem. They like to pay as close to zero as they can, and when nobody applies, do they raise wages? No, they import third-world labor.

Like this:

I also love Fat Donny, but the guy is a misnomer, because he is NOT fat. I need to take him to an all-you-can-eat buffet.

Like this:

With the giant octopus-shaped aquarium, Branson finally has its second iconic architectural building based on an animal. The first, of course, is The Great American Steak and Chicken House, which features a cock so large that even John Holmes would be impressed.

Like this:

I love Branson’s new aquarium. Has anybody else actually eaten at this sushi restaurant?

Like this:

I’m wearing my Star + Ving T-shirt to a buffet. When it’s all-you-can-eat, I don’t just show up hungry. I show up starving.

Like this:

I’ve been playing the piano since I was six years old. When I finish practicing tonight, in nine minutes, I will have put in a collective three hours mastering this instrument. If you’ve got a bowl full of Asian noodles, I’ve got the Chopsticks.

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