Tag: branson missouri
Just as Austin makes Texas even cooler, Austin makes Branson even cooler. The first is a city, and the second is the owner of Expresso Branson.
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When making soap, the most important ingredient I include is Time. What you smell now is not what you smelled then, or what you’ll smell later, and those small fluctuations, those tiny discrepancies, are the spaces occupied by nostalgia, as the mind works to fill in the gaps.
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I once got kicked out of a Kentucky Fried Chicken for shouting at the manager. How could it be Kentucky fried, I argued, if they were making it on location in the kitchen in Jacksonville, Florida?
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The president of The Branson Missouri Chamber of Commerce is like a finely sculpted piece of raw clay—in that he needs to be fired. Also, he’s finely sculpted in the same way as an overflowing trash can.
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Oh, The Branson Missouri Chamber of Commerce is going to sunny Puerto Rico in the middle of dreary winter? Who is paying for their vacation that’s masquerading as philanthropic mission work?
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I think “The devil made me do it” is a sound legal argument. After all, you’re sure to elicit sympathy from the man in the abyss-black robe whose job is to keep for-profit prisons stocked with human flesh to torment and torture. He loves it when you call him “Your Honor.”
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Next time a bicycle steals my monkey, I hope another floating head appears to offer emotional support. Maybe next time he’ll bring a matching and connected body, so he can chase down that bicycle thief—that thief of a bicycle.
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When you wash with April in The Ozarks, I guarantee you’ll be fresh. Maybe not as fresh as a monkey in a fur coat and sunglasses with a gold chain and a slow roll stroll, but pretty close.
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I once met a man in Branson, and I thought to myself, “Who is this guy?” So I went up to him and said, “Is that you, dad?” He laughed and told me he was younger than me, so I said, “So does that make you my grandpa?” Then I tried to sell him some pills that cure dyslexia.
