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If I wrote a dictionary, would you read it? What if I made it flow like a Nicholas Sparks romance novel?

2022/02/09 jarodkintz1Leave a comment

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If a library has no books, it’s just an empty building, and people would know there had been a heist. But if you burn the library after you loot it, then it’s not a robbery, it’s a loss that won’t be looked for or pursued.

2022/01/07 jarodkintz1Leave a comment

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What’s better than FREE? Double FREE! At BearPaw Duck and Meme Farm, when you don’t buy one, you don’t get a second of equal or lesser value. That’s a savings of however much you would have spent!

2021/06/08 jarodkintz1Leave a comment

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You could watch TV 24 hours a day and still not come close to keeping up with all the CIA-sponsored PROGRAMMING. And if the masses are steaming videos, then the clever man sees his chance to be a thought leader by becoming a reader.

2021/04/28 jarodkintz1Leave a comment

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No, I’m not calling YOUR book boring. YOUR book is amazing, and I can’t wait to start reading it. Is it available in video format?

2020/12/11 jarodkintz1Leave a comment

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I’m a writer, not a reader. I write book reviews, and I have no idea what I’m talking about.

2020/12/03 jarodkintz1Leave a comment

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Duck eggs—the energy drink in a shell. Now available in an assortment of flavors that can be easily digitized and uploaded to The Cloud, to be later enjoyed through your eyes and ears.

2020/05/092020/05/09 jarodkintz1Leave a comment

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My favorite part of The Art of War are all the commas. I mean, I guess that’s my favorite part, because I had my pet monkey read the book for me and summarize it using banana analogies.

2020/02/232020/02/23 jarodkintz1Leave a comment

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Movies changed the way people read, because why take 90 days to take in a story, a minute at a time before falling asleep in bed, when you can watch the movie adaptation of the book in 90 minutes? Well now with memes, you don’t even have to waste an hour and a half on a film.

2019/12/102019/12/10 jarodkintz1Leave a comment

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In my book, love is all there is in this world. If you agree, that book retails for $19.95 and does come with a FREE slice of Leftover Meatloaf, which makes a tasty bookmark.

2019/11/18 jarodkintz1Leave a comment

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  • This song will be playing at all the hottest clubs from South Beach to Ibiza, and it will come to define Summer 2022. Babies will be made to this song.
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  • If I wrote a dictionary, would you read it? What if I made it flow like a Nicholas Sparks romance novel?
  • If you are what you eat, then this morning I am nothing. But at least I’m awake, because I’m drinking coffee and I don’t watch mainstream news.
  • If a library has no books, it’s just an empty building, and people would know there had been a heist. But if you burn the library after you loot it, then it’s not a robbery, it’s a loss that won’t be looked for or pursued.
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