If I wrote a dictionary, would you read it? What if I made it flow like a Nicholas Sparks romance novel?
If you are what you eat, then this morning I am nothing. But at least I’m awake, because I’m drinking coffee and I don’t watch mainstream news.
If a library has no books, it’s just an empty building, and people would know there had been a heist. But if you burn the library after you loot it, then it’s not a robbery, it’s a loss that won’t be looked for or pursued.
No, I’m not calling YOUR book boring. YOUR book is amazing, and I can’t wait to start reading it. Is it available in video format?
I’m a writer, not a reader. I write book reviews, and I have no idea what I’m talking about.
When you act NOW, you also receive a FREE copy of my newest book: “How to put out riot fires with your naked body.” The book itself is burnable, and should altogether be banned by The Government.
My favorite part of The Art of War are all the commas. I mean, I guess that’s my favorite part, because I had my pet monkey read the book for me and summarize it using banana analogies.
Movies changed the way people read, because why take 90 days to take in a story, a minute at a time before falling asleep in bed, when you can watch the movie adaptation of the book in 90 minutes? Well now with memes, you don’t even have to waste an hour and a half on a film.
In my book, love is all there is in this world. If you agree, that book retails for $19.95 and does come with a FREE slice of Leftover Meatloaf, which makes a tasty bookmark.