Tag: birth
I remember signing The Social Contract the instant I was born, before I had even been assigned a name. With FREE roads that we have to pay for and are never repaired, along with other benefits like the largest prison industry in history, it’s quite a bargain.
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I’m a born salesman. In fact, I was born earlier than the doctor expected, so before my mom and I left the hospital I was able successfully haggle down the price of the whole process, getting it discounted by the amount of time I saved by appearing before my scheduled arrival.
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2019 seems to be the year that men becoming women produces yawns induced by boredom. When men start transitioning into cats, wake me up, because it’s not like I don’t already self-identify as one.
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I was born a salesman, and I was born after the promotional date, so I hope my mom got me for 50% OFF. I do know I was Buy One, Get One FREE, which is odd because I don’t have a twin, and that’s why I’m so extra.
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When the doctor told me I didn’t have heart problems, but only because I didn’t actually have a heart, as my body has been running off of leftover meatloaf since birth, I could have either cried or offered a Buffet of Love, and for $19.95 you can taste my decision.
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I am a dandelion. I am a Wind Flower. I’m half wind, half flower. My mother is a flower and my father is the wind, and I know this because he’s so gone he’s invisible, but at one time my mother felt his presence.
jarodkintz.com 