When you buy one of my T-shirts, you get a FREE spot of tea. I tried to wash it out, but the spot is now a stain, so if you are thirsty for deals then this is for you.

2021/08/30 jarodkintz1Leave a comment

I’m somewhat of a bird watcher myself. But I don’t need binoculars to see when other drivers show me what they think of me using only their middle fingers.

2021/08/27 jarodkintz1Leave a comment

At BearPaw Duck and Meme Farm, we recognize that low prices shit on quality. I’m talking about a nasty dump in a mop bucket kind of way, which is why we stay clean of gimmicky deals.

2021/07/05 jarodkintz1Leave a comment

Did you even know the saxophone could make farm noises? You know I’m a genius jazz performer because it sounds like I haven’t played an instrument ever before.

2021/06/09 jarodkintz1Leave a comment

I’m a Starbucks coffee connoisseur. You know I’m an expert, because I can’t distinguish between their java and muddy duck water.

2021/05/30 jarodkintz1Leave a comment

Did you know that duck-egg yolks are so golden because those swimming birds soak up sunlight and convert it directly into an omelet-ready substance? I also have powdered sunlight FOR SALE, but if you were to accidentally snort some, you’d burn your eyes out from the inside.

2021/05/30 jarodkintz1Leave a comment

What has wings, but cannot fly, and legs, but cannot walk? A Pekin duck!

2021/05/04 jarodkintz1Leave a comment

Skate Mania is now known as a skating rink, but I call it what it one day could be: A GIF Factory. The Three Stooges made a career out of falling down, and little kids and addled adults pay money to provide Skate Mania with that kind of hilarious content.

2021/03/04 jarodkintz1Leave a comment

Combat is dangerous, and no matter if it’s Brazilian Jiu-Jitsu, Muay Thai, or grappling, no Octagon Warrior wants to get put to sleep by a Pillow Fighter. That’s why Dana White won’t sign me to a contract.

2021/01/26 jarodkintz1Leave a comment

Dance critics all over the world have called my body moves, “Sculpturesque,” “As full of motion as a Rodin statue,” and “Like watching Helen Keller eat Jell-O with her elbows.” My dancing is so still and silent that it belongs on a shelf in a library, next to other great literature.

2021/01/21 jarodkintz1Leave a comment

Tag: bird meme

When you buy one of my T-shirts, you get a FREE spot of tea. I tried to wash it out, but the spot is now a stain, so if you are thirsty for deals then this is for you.

Like this:

I’m somewhat of a bird watcher myself. But I don’t need binoculars to see when other drivers show me what they think of me using only their middle fingers.

Like this:

At BearPaw Duck and Meme Farm, we recognize that low prices shit on quality. I’m talking about a nasty dump in a mop bucket kind of way, which is why we stay clean of gimmicky deals.

Like this:

Did you even know the saxophone could make farm noises? You know I’m a genius jazz performer because it sounds like I haven’t played an instrument ever before.

Like this:

I’m a Starbucks coffee connoisseur. You know I’m an expert, because I can’t distinguish between their java and muddy duck water.

Like this:

Did you know that duck-egg yolks are so golden because those swimming birds soak up sunlight and convert it directly into an omelet-ready substance? I also have powdered sunlight FOR SALE, but if you were to accidentally snort some, you’d burn your eyes out from the inside.

Like this:

What has wings, but cannot fly, and legs, but cannot walk? A Pekin duck!

Like this:

Skate Mania is now known as a skating rink, but I call it what it one day could be: A GIF Factory. The Three Stooges made a career out of falling down, and little kids and addled adults pay money to provide Skate Mania with that kind of hilarious content.

Like this:

Combat is dangerous, and no matter if it’s Brazilian Jiu-Jitsu, Muay Thai, or grappling, no Octagon Warrior wants to get put to sleep by a Pillow Fighter. That’s why Dana White won’t sign me to a contract.

Like this:

Dance critics all over the world have called my body moves, “Sculpturesque,” “As full of motion as a Rodin statue,” and “Like watching Helen Keller eat Jell-O with her elbows.” My dancing is so still and silent that it belongs on a shelf in a library, next to other great literature.

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