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Tag: bill murray

I like my breakfast burritos at 7 PM, because I get out of bed 60 minutes earlier—and a full twelve hours before lazy roosters wake up. Do you slumber at midnight? What are you doing sleeping your life away?

2021/03/14 jarodkintz1Leave a comment

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I think our town’s Chamber of Commerce needs to drink more coffee. Maybe then they’d WAKE UP to the idiocy of courting and promoting chain retail stores over local mom and pop shops.

2021/03/11 jarodkintz1Leave a comment

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If you’ve ever had my World Famous SwimmingBird Soup, you probably think it tastes like a kangaroo chase. You may wonder, “Is it organic?” The answer is YES! I use 100% REAL powdered kangaroo chase to flavor my soup.

2020/12/21 jarodkintz1Leave a comment

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Time is money, and it’s now ON SALE. 60 seconds for 100 pennies. NO Senior Discounts!

2020/05/232020/05/23 jarodkintz1Leave a comment

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If I gave birth to myself, like some kind of hermaphroditic worm, would I be entitled to FREE food? This is an important issue that NO Presidential candidate has EVER mentioned.

2020/03/132020/03/13 jarodkintz1Leave a comment

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